After the breakup of my marriage, I was out on Valium over Christmas for short term, I stayed on it for 10 years, the only doctor who helped me was the one who got me off it, I’ve been off it 5 years now, one thing that did help me was indica cbd, it’s a totally different to sativa, it calmed me, I really understand what you are going throughI am so sorry to hear you too are dealing with this horrible disorder. I have battled with anxiety since the late 90's. My first panic attack was while I was sitting at a traffic light coming home from work. The symptoms came out of the blue but I don't need to tell you how horrible they are and how scared one feels when it's happening. For me, I was a nurse and yes my job was pretty hectic and stressful depending on the day but I loved what I did. Well, within a few weeks, it became hard to even drive myself to work. I related driving to having had that panic attack and before long, I had to quit being a nurse and became an isolated person, who needed to be driven everywhere and other than doctor appointments, grocery shopping and caring for my husband with some health issues and trying to be of help to my Mom who had extreme depression, my love of nursing was gone.
Anyway, I too have been given different medications over the years for my anxiety. Let me tell you the worst was Valium. I do believe my body got used to it and one day when I was especially anxious, I ended up taking 100 mg. of it and it never did a thing. When I mentioned this to my husband, he immediately called my doctor and told him. My doctor wanted me to go to the ER but I refused and stayed awake until around 2 am. Nothing ever happened, I never even got sleepy. So weird. After that I was given Ativan, I I felt it really helped calm me down but my doctor didn't allow me to stay on it for long. After that I found a new doctor and was given Clonazapam which I still take today. I have a 1 mg. tablet which I can take 3 times a day but normally I can get away with only taking half that amount and I do ok. Now not sure if it would help you but it is worth a shot. Also I've tried taking CBD oil. It does help a little but everyone is different and you have to find the right one for you, which can be pricey. My thoughts are with you as you struggle with this battle. My Mom had anxiety too but I never truly understood how bad it made her feel and I am so sorry that I didn't try to understand at the time. Do let us know how you are doing and if you found a medication that is working. Do try and find things that distract you. I know with myself as I always wake at 5:30 am everyday. I would love to be able to sleep in but can't; my mind starts thinking about everything and I soon start feeling the anxiety building so I have to get up. It is then that I get onto my laptop and read emails and news and play silly games on Facebook, it helps. God bless you....this year especially hasn't helped people like us as we try to deal with this virus and never being able to not be worried about going out. I order my groceries online and then can go and pick them up at the store. I won't go in and haven't in a few months. Christmas will be very lonely this year, I am sending money to my kids since shopping in a Mall or anywhere else is out of the question. I am also a widow now too so my days are so long. My adult kids don't live close by either and even if they did, they wouldn't come to visit for fear of the virus. May this new year approaching be a huge improvement for us all.