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Anxiety, Panic Attacks and Intrusive Thoughts - Ending a 10 Year Relationship

Hey @Survivor3, thanks for checking in. I'm back home, we talked, set rules and such, his being super respectful. But I'm finding it extremely difficult, there's been a lot of tears today. He started greving a long time ago and was ready to move on. We haven't even filed for separation yet and his in another relationship, It's like a knife to the heart.

I keep blaming myself, I know we're both to blame for the marriage failing but one of the big reasons was my mental health and how I've been a shell of my former self for the past 4 years.
I'm glad too hear he's being super respectful. That's great. There's only one thing that you both need to do for this temporary phase to work, and that's for you both to be civil and respectful to each other. And I understand that there's alot of history but it's only temporary until you find your own place. (How long could that be? Do you know roughly?) I'm not surprised you've been crying, alot to deal with, also necessary to grieve what's happened.
 
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Forgotten to say also that I know what that's like to be a shell of your former self with really bad mental health, unable to realistically be in a relationship (marriage). But keep faith in yourself that, that's what is waiting for yourself round the corner! The new and improved you! A chance to get well and focus on yourself and enjoying life.
 
I'm glad too hear he's being super respectful. That's great. There's only one thing that you both need to do for this temporary phase to work, and that's for you both to be civil and respectful to each other. And I understand that there's alot of history but it's only temporary until you find your own place. (How long could that be? Do you know roughly?) I'm not surprised you've been crying, alot to deal with, also necessary to grief what's happened.
Forgotten to say also that I know what that's like to be a shell of your former self with really bad mental health, unable to realistically be in a relationship (marriage). But keep faith in yourself that, that's what is waiting for yourself round the corner! The new and improved you! A chance to get well and focus on yourself and enjoying life.
Finding my own place is going to be tricky, my friend will be giving me his spare room but it won't be available for 3-? months. His in a very slow process of breaking up with his girlfriend.

I would need to save at least £4,000 to move, so I could be here with my ex until the end of the tenancy (April 2026).

I'm currently sorting out therapy, I'm being recommended counselling to deal with this and then onto CBT, but the waiting lists are 6-8 months.
 
Finding my own place is going to be tricky, my friend will be giving me his spare room but it won't be available for 3-? months. His in a very slow process of breaking up with his girlfriend.

I would need to save at least £4,000 to move, so I could be here with my ex until the end of the tenancy (April 2026).

I'm currently sorting out therapy, I'm being recommended counselling to deal with this and then onto CBT, but the waiting lists are 6-8 months.
Ok, gotcha. Are you in the UK cazz? Some charities do reduced rates for counselling/therapy privately. But i also totally understand that your trying to save money to move.
 
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Ok, gotcha. Are you in the UK cazz? Some charities do reduced rates for counselling/therapy privately. But i also totally understand that your trying to save money to move.
I am in the UK. My therapy will be through a NHS organisation. I'm getting a call Wednesday regarding counselling and wait times. I'm hoping it's sooner rather than later for my sanity.
 
They're called Health in Mind, been very supportive so far. I will let you know how I get on Wednesday. 💚
Hey @Survivor3, hope you're doing well? I just spoke to Health in Mind. So I've been rejected for counselling however my representative (a CBT Therapist) is challenging the decision. She's also sending me some details of some private therapists in my area who offer affordable counselling.
 
Hey @Survivor3, hope you're doing well? I just spoke to Health in Mind. So I've been rejected for counselling however my representative (a CBT Therapist) is challenging the decision. She's also sending me some details of some private therapists in my area who offer affordable counselling.
That's great news @CazzTheGeek . Don't worry about the first refusal. It happens alot, see what happens with the appeal. I was rejected from iapt 4 times and eventually went private, and glad I did because therapy on the NHS is only for a short time whereas trauma people (us) need longer anyway generally.

Don't fear going Private, alot of them are quite cheap or ask "what can you afford"? You can go every1/2/3/4 weeks see how you feel. Really pleased to hear that though.
 
That's great news @CazzTheGeek . Don't worry about the first refusal. It happens alot, see what happens with the appeal. I was rejected from iapt 4 times and eventually went private, and glad I did because therapy on the NHS is only for a short time whereas trauma people (us) need longer anyway generally.

Don't fear going Private, alot of them are quite cheap or ask "what can you afford"? You can go every1/2/3/4 weeks see how you feel. Really pleased to hear that though.
Therapy my first time round was so rushed and now I'm ready for it, I have to wait. I understand why though, so private could be best. Just waiting for the email with the potential list of therapists and hopefully I'll be able to afford it, even if it's just once a month.
 
I'm struggling to cope with all my intrusive thoughts and general over thinking. This is giving me anxiety, leading to anxiety/panic attacks. I'm currently ending a ten year relationship which is hard but I'm still having to share a property, eventually I'll be living by myself for the first time in my life.

I struggle with the things I usual do because of my ex and I'm struggling to find new interests. The fear, uncertainty and all the emotions our so overwhelming and hard to keep in check.

I'm doing breathing exercises and grounding techniques but I'm still struggling, If anyone has experienced a similar time, I'd appreciate the advice or experience.
I am going through a fairly identical experience. My partner and I of 9.5 years broke up in March, and we have been living together since. We are finally packing to move out by the end of the month, and everything got bad. The PTSD, the anxiety, the SI, all of it. I’m using every coping mechanism under the sun, but it doesn’t feel like enough. I keep thinking to myself when I feel that way, “It’s not forever, just for now.” I hope that’s true for us both.
 

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