Anxiety & Sleepless Nights

[LexiRose]

Hi everyone,

I was wanting to get everyone's opinions on my current situation, and any advice that you could give would be great!

I was diagnosed with PTSD, and I definitely have sleeping problems. I have nightmares quite often. The main themes are fear, death, and the fear that I am going to be killed. I don't dream directly of the trauma, although I have before. The majority of the time, it's just the theme that I'm going to die. I have these dreams 3 to 4 times a week probably. I will wake up and find myself kicking and moving around a lot because of the bad dream I've had. Not only the nightmares, but I generally just feel like I'm going to be hurt when I go into public. I was at the movie theater on Saturday, and I was so tense the whole time just waiting on someone to come in and shoot me! There have been times that I've been driving, and I literally tense up when a car passes me, because I feel like they are going to try to kill me with a gun. What I don't understand is my original trauma did not involve guns, it was sexual trauma.

I don't feel safe in my own home, so I become really upset when I have to stay home because I know it means just another sleepless night.

My psychiatrist gave me a sleeping medicine to take. The problem is I'm too scared to take it! I don't want to be so knocked out that I can't wake up if I need to. It causes me anxiety to think about taking it, I hate medication. What makes the whole situation worse, is a fear of my mom. Shes been a great mom to me, and I can't complain about that. I am now 21 years old, But recently over the past year, she has gotten involved with meth.

I live with my grandparents, and they have agreed to let her stay at our house. I know I shouldn't be upset, but for some reason she causes me extreme anxiety, and I don't know why. I only found out a few months ago she was addicted to meth. But I have nightmares about her as well. And when she talks to me, my heart starts beating out of my chest and it really freaks me out. There have been nights when I'm laying in bed and I jump thinking the guy involved in my original trauma, and my mom are at the bottom of my bed, watching me and ready to kill me.

If anyone has any ideas about what might be going on, I'd greatly appreciate it! I don't know why my mom scares me so much, and I'm so tired of not getting sleep because of it. This really isn't a way to live, and I'm so tired of the fear.

 

[Changing4Best]

Have you ever thought that your mother may have abused you when you were so young that you cannot remember it? That happened to me when I was very young and it was uncovered in therapy. My grandfather, who everyone in the family later disowned, molested me! I had blocked it out when he told me that he'd kill me if I ever told anyone about what he did to me. Then he would put a forgetting thing on it like saying, "this didn't happen!" I think that my mother found out about it somehow when I was six, because he was barred form our house entirely and made to have nothing to do with us children then too.

A few suggestions, put a chain lock on your bedroom door, so that no one can come into your room when you are sleeping. Lock your windows, also. If you don't have the tools to do it, get a male friend to do it for you. Men have tools and they are only too happy to oblige on something like that if you explain it to them.

I take some meds to get to sleep, but I wake in the middle of the night, so I go to bed early and wake up whenever I do. Usually I cannot sleep when I wake and I suspect I have nightmares too, but I cannot recall what I dream usually.

Meth is nasty stuff, it cause some people to have anger issues. So beware of that. Look up some infor about it on Google or something.

I will pray for you, I hope that is OK.

 

[Chava]

I don't know what medication you have been prescribed, but I know I could wake up on my sleeping meds if there was some noise or something wrong. You aren't knocked out cold. But they do help you rest. Also, my panic attacks increase if I'm exhausted. I need sleep medication mainly to lessen my day time panic. So, rest matters a lot for all of what you are going through.

Meth addicts are scary, even if it's your mom. I assume other places to stay aren't an option? Are you a dog person? My dog provides me with a feeling of protection when I am not asleep because he awakes to any abnormal sound, probably even a pin dropping outside my window. Is treatment an option for your mom? Does she want to change, or no?

I agree with above suggestion to get a good lock on your door. Also any kinds of activities that can help you calm down in the evening. Even with my sleep meds, I need to consciously work at finding calming activities. Hopefully within the house your room can feel like your own safe space.

I also have not had many direct nightmares, but many about watching strangers get murdered or being abused as my adult self, or watching a strange little girl get hurt (usually I am outside my dream, watching, like through a window). They are horrible. They changed a lot or went away when I had a med switch (for me it was a hormone med thing). If your doctor is starting you on a low dose, is there a way you can trust it just enough to give it a try? Can you stay at a friend's for a night or two and see if it helps?

 

[Biz]

My hypervigilance is like that too. For me, that level of fear is just something that's there and really high sometimes. Working out helps me get it down and calm my body. Also purely action-wise, look up sleep hygiene. Things like repeating the same routine before getting in bed, going to bed at the same time, and only using your bed when you're sleeping can help your body train to fall asleep.

Another thing, there's an item called a traveler's lock (Addalock is one brand on Amazon). It's $20 and you can remove it in the morning, in case you're worried about your grandparents not wanting you to install a lock and/or you don't want to reveal to them or your mom that you feel you need a lock. It locks you in from the inside.

I bought one recently because my roommate's new girlfriend stays at our home and I don't trust her and it's affected my sleep. Having this lock has helped me feel safe and contained, more so than I thought it would. Maybe one could put your mind at ease.

 

[stillstanding2]

Hi everyone,

I was wanting to get everyone's opinions on my current situation, and any advice that yo...

Hi. I have PTSD for other reasons, but normally I welcome dreams. Perhaps I dream too much. However, yesterday I had a rare anxiety attack that left me dreading sleep last night. I have prescriptions to help me sleep, but last night I feared taking them, thinking that my dreams might be full-blown terror.

I was wrong. Knowing I was exhausted from too much worry, I took my pills anyway and took the risk of nightmares. I woke several times after dreams, realizing that I was having very pleasant dreams that got better each time.

Yesterday's events still worry me, but the prescriptions gave me a priceless rest so that I can better process my situation today. I'd suggest taking the risk as I did. The worst that can happen is that you may have nightmares (which you already have) and they may wake you in fear. But it is only fear, not reality.

And you might just have a good night's sleep for a change. Just making a suggestion.