Anxious About Seeing My Therapist

[_demolition.lovers_]

After going through a lot of trauma and being hospitalized, I was told I should see a therapist. So I did. I would see him every Thursday at school, and it was okay. My therapist is a pretty cool guy, he listens to rock music like I do, he brings things for me to color (because when I'm anxious I play with things, and coloring seemed like a good solution to that... even if it makes me feel like a little kid) and he jokes around with me. It all seemed like a good fit, but then something started happening. I suddenly stopped going to school on Thursdays, because I didn't like talking about my problems. I decided I would rather just take medication.
Now I haven't seen him in months, but I need a new medication for anxiety. I called my psychiatrist, but she said I needed to see my T before I can get an appointment with her.
So last week, I was going to meet with my T on Wednesday. Low and behold, I didn't go to school on Wednesday. Or the rest of the week. I'm at a lost because I really need new meds, but I also don't want to see my T (which I'm also not completely sure why).
I'm not sure if I should meet with him or not, and I'm also not sure /why/ I don't want to meet with him. Any help would be great.

 

[mrsps]

I know how it feels to be really nervous about going to see our T's at times. I get nervous and my heart beats fast and I don't really know why. I have a fabulous T but still at times have this fear of her. I think you should make an appointment with him and stick to the appointment and turn up. I think you will find if you go it will all be ok. Your T is not going to tell you off for not going for so long he will most likely be curious why you couldn't go and see him and you will properly be able to work out with him the reasons you haven't been able to go.
Would it help to write stuff down so when you go to your T you can just give him a piece of paper with things on it so you don't actually have to talk right at the beginning. Your T will have your best interests at heart and wouldn't want you to feel uneasy about seeing him.
Please make an appointment and go and see your T, you are worth the help and it wont be so bad once you get to your appointment as you think it will be in your head :)

 

[BloomInWinter]

Anticipatory anxiety is pretty normal for trauma therapy. It's a self-defense mechanism called "avoidance" and it's so common that it's one of the triad of symptoms professionals look for.

Remember that you do not ever have to discuss anything you do not wish to. You have complete control over what you share. What happened during the last time your saw your Therapist that triggered your avoidance since then? You might wish to call him first and talk on the phone, if he'll do that, and tell him how you feel. That way you can hang up if it's too overwhelming. Or, write him an email.

Good therapists know this is a part of the trauma and they don't judge us for it. But you might be surprised to find out how much they judge themselves if we don't return without an explanation.

The shortest distance between where we are and healing is time in therapy. It's great when we can avoid allowing our trauma to talk us out of our "medicine." But it's oh, so hard. I do remember well being anxious for days before seeing my therapists. Hang in there.

 

[roaringrachel]

Try to remember that going to your therapist is better than suffering alone. Also remember that there is absolutely no pressure to talk about anything. You can decide to stay silent the entire time if you wish, everything is up to you.