What helped You when starting to talk about your trauma? Is there ever really a good time? I would like to avoid it at least one more week. That’s what I say every week.
I understand your desire to avoid it. For some people, there is never a good time to talk about it. I can share a little about my experience, and maybe that will give you some ideas.
My therapist spent the first six months working on stabilization and coping skills before we ever started approaching my trauma history. You want to make sure you are in a stable situation and have the skills you need because you might feel worse before you get better.
There is no "one way" to address trauma. What works for one person may not work for another. You and your therapist have to find a way that works for you. Whatever that looks like, it is right for you.
For me, there are parts of my story that need to be heard. I am in charge of when and how much I tell of my story. Sometimes my therapist will remind me that I usually feel relieved once I finally talk about whatever part of my story is currently bothering me, but it is always my choice if I want to talk about it. Sometimes, I just can't make myself talk. For me, it can help to ask what this memory wants or needs me to know. Also, it helps sometimes to ask why I can't talk about it. What about the memory makes me feel like I can't talk about it?
My story is coming out in bits and pieces rather than some cohesive story. I know I never have to tell every single part of my story. So I am only talking about the parts of my story that cause flashbacks. And I only talk about those when they come up and don't go away. Sometimes, it feels like my brain is going after too much; and I have had to ask it to give me a break from the flashbacks when too much is going on, and I feel like I can't deal with past trauma on top of current life.
While I love journaling, I have not been able to journal about my trauma history. For me, it is too hard to have it on paper. I do journal about what is happening, how I am feeling, and so on...just not about my trauma. I have found that when I get scared that I am getting stuck or not getting better, it helps to review my journal. I can see where I am making progress, even if I don't always feel that progress. Maybe some day I will be able to journal about my history, but I am not there right now.
If you really do feel like you want to talk about it, sometimes just forcing that first sentence out is enough to get the story going. That seems to be how it works for me--like if I just say one sentence about it, then I can get the rest of that part of my story out. I don't know if other people find it to be like that, that is just how it is for me.
I wish you well in your quest for recovery.
