Relationship Any Happy Endings?

[Dandelion]

I'd love to hear from anyone with a story of symptoms improving, successful recovery, etc.

It seems that so many of us supporters come here and write during our hardest, saddest moments (I know I certainly do) and sometimes reading through so much sadness leaves me feeling a bit discouraged about my bf's road to recovery. While I know that life will never be the same as it was before his ptsd, I still hold out hope that he'll eventually get back to a place where he's sociable and affectionate again.

I very much miss the man I fell in love with. He finally agreed to start therapy, but he's just a few weeks in so it's still too early to tell if it's helping. I really hope that it helps him get through his issues and become the loving, talkative, and positive person I once knew.

Anyone have a success story to share? I could really use the encouragement of knowing it CAN get better.

 

[rightkindofme]

I am in a much more positive space than I ever believed possible. I do still have symptoms but I control them and manage them and I rarely have signs of them that other people can see. My blog still makes me look unstable but my behavior doesn't.

I have a very easily scheduled life. I am a stay at home mom. We have predictable kid social events and my friends come to visit. I have found a size and shape of life I can manage. Mostly I feel pretty good about myself. I have a husband who thinks I am the greatest thing since sliced bread and he bends over backwards to make me happy.

My husband doesn't try to fix me but he listens to me. He knows more about me than any other person alive because he likes to listen to me talk. I feel like I won the lottery.

I paint murals in my house and on my fence. I build play structures for my kids with found lumber and redwood logs. I garden a lot.

My life is really good. There will probably always be some layer of self loathing and suicidal ideation in my life but I know those things are like a frosted pane of glass between me and life. It isn't that those things are true, they are just obscuring my view a bit.

 

[amethist]

Hi Dandelion

You could say that my story is a successful one, as my husband and I have been through the mill and back again, still married. still together and still fighting this thing called PTSD.

We had been together for 7 years before his accident, so had a good solid relationship before his accident.

It has not all been plain sailing there were years of darkness for him, but we stick together, he worked hard on his issue{Still is working on them}, and I stood by him supporting and encouraging him all the way.

None of it has been easy, and there were tiems when either one of us could have given up, but we kept going.

He still has a way to go, but each day is different, some days are wonderful, some not so with PTSD issues cropping up and him having to take a step back for a while to recover again.

All in all we are winning the game, but it is still not over and we will always be playing it.

 

[Nicolette]

I've up to 6 years and two months dealing with my husband's PTSD - I never knew him before his PTSD. Life is good for the most part :)

 

[anni]

I couldn't tell if you were just wishing to hear from supporters, though perhaps another PTSD schmeared person might be helpful. I'm not personally crazy about the whole 'sufferer' thing, and yes, it's a personal thing based on what that does to MY head. It makes me whiney.

The Happy Ending thing, since you would just like examples in order to have plain, old HOPE is that I have one, too. My relationship is probably easier than most only because my husband is personality-wise an extraordinarily validating person. You have to watch it with him because he's allllll 'give' and no 'take', so will wear himself out quietly if I allowed it, making sure everyone else is just fine. I'm a big PTSD mess at times, and was FAR, far worse when we met, just emerging from yet another failed marraige and never really having been able to repair much from the long-term traumas of some years previously.

I'm extremely aware that it's been his bottom line approval, acceptance and validation, bar nothing, which has made alllll the difference in the last decade. He also does this 'thing' consistantly of making it clear that well, there's some things he can maybe give me a hug about but gee, what on earth can HE do about it? The other point with this is to please not MAKE it something he's supposed to do something about, since he can't and it's pretty unfair to expect of him. Good point, huh? That's when we PTSD afflicted people have to take the responsibilty back on our own lap.

I hope you are able to gather what you need here, for some Peace and Hope.

 

[Bilby]

A successful relationship is absolutely still possible, but it certainly requires work from both parties - but so does any relationship, right?

I think it's important for the sufferer to be seeking professional help, but I also think it's important to have your own support network, having your own interests etc.

Personally, my husband and I have our ups and downs, and it can be hard to be around him at times. But I think on the whole, we both understand the implications PTSD has for him personally, and as a couple, and we have both put quite a bit of work into our relationship.

B x

 

[Cult]

I don't have a lot of time to post my story right now, although I will try to do so later today. Let me just say that I really, really needed to find this site. I can very much relate to the opening post; my partner of 10 years recently recovered traumatic memories and is deep in the grip of active, essentially untreated PTSD. Our relationship has been altered profoundly; she is no longer capable of the love, attention and affection I have come to rely on over the last decade.

I am here to get support and share my story, and hopefully, as I continue to become stronger and healthier in myself, help others along the way. I have issues of my own and my partner's distance is forcing me to face them; not a bad thing although very painful at the moment.

I am hopeful of a happy ending for me and my partner; however as somebody above said, I am starting to accept the likely fact that our relationship will never be what it once was. Thank you so much for being here!