Part of my problem is that I experienced a lot of trauma and disbelief within the mental health system....
Back in the late 80's I was misdiagnosed by a very well-respected psychiatric hospital psychiatrist with bi-polar and for decades I was on multiple anti-psychotics and psychotropic drugs at the same exact time and I was the walking dead - a zombie. During this time period, I self-admitted to a psychiatric hospital because my brain wasn't having it on all of those drugs, and I NEVER ever had bi-polar!!! and didn't need all of those bleeping for decades mind-numbing altering Rx's either!
During and unrelated psych. admission, a guy came in with a severe head injury trauma due to the tractor accident on his farm, and he was accidentally (nurse mistake) was allowed to roam free through the psych. ward halls and therefore free to go in and out of female patient's (me included) hospital rooms. One young woman he tried to suffocate with a pillow; another female patient he masturbated in front of her and ejaculated close to her bed; and he came into my room and touched my hip (I was lying on side and not able to sleep and I screamed and he ran out). Afterwards we female patients had to walk up a dimly lit hall to the medication window (like on One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest) and walk back in the again dimly lit hallway to our respective rooms.
The next a.m. I lost it and demanded a meeting be called with the chief psychiatrist and the nurses/staff and I sounded off and so did some of the other female patients who were abused by this male injured patient.
I've had a psychologist not believe me after I told him that I'd been sexually assaulted by the gastro dr. dawson, and this same psychologist called my mother and I quote, "Jade, you had a shitty mother!" Fired him twice.
Later, in 3/2012 without so much as a by your leave, I was after being told that I NEVER had bi-polar and that my diagnoses is prolonged comp. ptsd and major depressive disorder, not one of the health care "professionals" said "I'm sorry, Jade". I was put on for decades brain melting and mind-altering Rx's that I NEVER needed. I understand that drs. in all professions make mistakes hence medical malpractice insurance and lawyers, and such. Because (I was told) that bi-polar symtoms closely resemble prolonged comp. ptsd that this was an easy mistake to make and happens quite frequently in mental health diagnostics. And I found no comfort in learning this and my body was subjected for decades potent and brain-altering Rx's that were NOT suppose to be prescribed for prolonged comp. ptsd. And prior to this date (3/2012), I was never allowed I assume due to bi-polar dx - to fully discuss in talk therapy with a L.C.S.W. about the extreme physical and sexual abuse that was lying beneath the surface for decades as well Grrr.. I was told to stay in the present, and look toward the future. And I have other cra-cra stories about abuse by mental health drs. I am not vilifying mental health care professionals. NO! I am simply sharing what happened to me in relationship to
@Sunset above post. Many more horrifying stories, that I choose not to write about here Sunset.
There are those mental health drs. that first do no harm, and there are those that historically have destroyed patients to the point they took their own lives, and then there are the stories in between where the patient had restorative mental health good outcome with their mental health professional, and there are those who had to leave their mental health dr. and find a psychologist and/or psychiatrist that was best suited for their individual needs. It is hard to leave an already established dr./patient relationship. I know. Been there done that. Brain is the organ that runs the heart, everything! So finding another mental health dr. is so worth it, don't you think! I certainly do.
I use to and will never again fully and implicitly trust anyone in the mental health profession or most anyone anywhere for that matter ( said MOST, not all) and I know this is because I have recently learned a few weeks ago through EMDR that the bio-father (not just the step-father) was a sexual perv and I pray that I do not stay tin his dis-trusting zone of most everyone indefinitely and will work hard in T not to, for the rest of my life I assume I'll be working on core trust issues. Currently, I am very hyper-vigilant and am now trying to assume responsibility for not allowing mental health/ or any dr. to make unsound and harmful decisions re my mental/physical health and to make sure they are not and will not harm me. Listening to sound advice from others and red flags is very healthy and taking good sound advice from those smarter and more savvy in areas than me.
Recently, I just went through a hellish experience by a well-meaning and well-known with good creds psychologist who was not utilizing Dr. Francine Shapiro's EMDR protocol and was frying my brain. And this well-meaning psychologist was by not following Dr. Shapiro's teachings and was causing me to have extreme paranoia, fear, and panic - and this was not done intentionally to harm me, yet this mental health dr. was most indeed HARMING me!. I was unable to function mentally, emotionally, and in most every way, so I talked about it, prayed about it, and got sound advice about it, and listened to sound advice, and now I will be more aware each week in therapy and not put psych. dr. up on the god pedestal to where he can knock himself back off again. I've taken everybody off the god pedestal and I worship at the feet of no one, never again. For there are healthy and not so healthy and down-right disreputable mental health professionals out there, and we must be very careful whom we listen to and entrust our brain and mind to, because irreversible damage has/can be done. And we may have two kidneys, eyes, etc. but we only have one brain which runs/rules the entire body's functioning Sunset, thank you for your post. Good post - one that makes us all think and practice due diligence. Take care. JJ
