Anyone Else Wonder What Could Change?

[Tinyflame]

Yes, I agree with ITL. And I guess cut ourselves some slack.

Not sure, but maybe it might also help to identify "what if's" in terms of all your great decisions, or good ones, or even bad ones that worked out? For example, "what if you hadn't turned into such a nice person, and were bitter and angry constantly instead"? What if you had ended your life? What if you hadn't chosen to take the plunge and reach out to others (for their sake, too), on this forum? Etc.

I have always seen the past as irrevocable, but psychologically (sometimes) I've put myself in very dangerous positions (physically), I think to try to re-write the ending. It's good your aware of it, that's a really good sign and decision to even think about it! I hope in time your parents will come to understand more, and you can re-establish healthy communication. But sometimes, you have to find support within other means, and distractions like ITL said. Healthy ways that don't leave you feeling worse.

Best wishes to you.

 

[cookinggal]

Thanks guys :)

 

[aka]

I find myself sitting up some nights wondering what I could have done to change everything.

I to sometimes do this though I usually try to stop myself. I find this line of thinking to be very depressing and the rational side of me is always telling myself that you can't change the past so why waste energy thinking about it. Of course this is easier said them done so I have mixed success with stopping such thinking.

I feel sometimes like my parents don't support me because they don't know how to feel, they don't know what to say.

Same here, my parents adopted a way to deal with me along time ago. It includes giving constant tough love since there think if I get any high amount of sympathy I will use it as an excuse not to deal with the current problem (partly true). That and they shut down/stop listening anytime I try to express my feelings to them. So most of the time I just hide my feelings since there seem incapable of handling it. I know they have a lot to handle in their lives since they both work, have to deal with my incompetent siblings, my father fights major depression, etc. But there are sometimes I wish they could be a little more emotional supportive.

 

[cookinggal]

But there are sometimes I wish they could be a little more emotional supportive.

That's how I feel my parents did practically the same as yours. To them it's she could never get abused by someone older then her, she could never have a baby from him. They see that it can happen but they refuse to admit it happened to their daughter. My mom practically talks about herself in the third person, she doesn't talk to me. And when she does it's usually I'm sorry I didn't mean to yell I'm just stressed from work.