Anyone Elses' Ptsd Due To A Sociopath?

[frozen]

I am really not in the best state of mind to reply to this but I will answer the part of if his threats are real or just mind games.
He has acted on several threats, things to harm our family to the core without it being illegal.

But I did get the answer I needed, either way I am going to mess her up so why prolong that? I'm not.

 

[Meadowsweet]

Frozen, it wasn't to see if what he's doing is real or part of mind games. I thought if you could share the facts of what is happening, then people might be able to provide some practical advice to help you to deal with this.

 

[frozen]

I have never been able to share, or even journal for that matter, about the things that have happened as they are so complex and there is just no way to put any of it simply. And because it's ongoing, it makes it that much harder.

I'm angry that I am blamed for something I didn't do, yet, I understand that my children know I didn't do it, but a few needed to see me do something about it, do something to stop it maybe? Because I couldn't, they lash out at me. I SHOULD have been able to protect them.

 

[ahi]

Am looking for anyone that I can relate/connect with.

I went through extreme brutality and sadistic rape by two men in my family. From the time I was 21/2- 5 yrs of age. It's a miracle I'm alive. Consider yourself validated.

 

[frozen]

Ahi,
I am so very sorry!!!
I don't have words....I am just so very sorry you endured what you did. :(

 

[ahi]

Ahi,
I am so very sorry!!!

Thank you,
and I'm sorry you've had to go through what you did. Doesn't matter what the severity- none of us on this forum should of had to go through any of it.

There really are no apropriate words, frozen. I think we'd have to create our own dictionary.

 

[frozen]

I very much agree! It doesn't seem like ordinary words even come close, we are left with little defenses and resources.

 

[Meadowsweet]

I have never been able to share, or even journal for that matter, about the things that have happened as they are so complex and there is just no way to put any of it simply. And because it's ongoing, it makes it that much harder.

Psychological, sexual, physical abuse are all equally abusive. In my life I've experienced a little of all of them, usually at the same time. Mentally the physical aspect of abuse is easier for me to deal with than the sexual and psychological abuse. Its because it's simpler = he hit, I fell: whereas the other abuses go more like - he acted this way, I did this.

So it comes with a confusion of shame, guilt, pain and feeling psychologically trapped and under somebody elses control. That feeling of being trapped is terrifying and plays the biggest part in my isolation. I have sent friends packing because I feel like they're drawing me into entrapment.

In actuality, they probably just didn't understand sensitivity or why I might feel that way. And a person in full health might have been able to explain better than me, or just found a way of saying 'no, I don't like that, or thats not my kind of thing', whereas I go off like a rocket of paranoia and start saying I can't stay in the friendship. In the short term it brings relief from the fear and panic, but that has long term consequences. Friends rarely come back.

I think the concern about how you were feeling toward your daughter is that you might isolate yourself from her for short term relief, but that you might suffer more in the longer term.

I'm angry that I am blamed for something I didn't do, yet, I understand that my children know I didn't do it, but a few needed to see me do something about it, do something to stop it maybe? Because I couldn't, they lash out at me. I SHOULD have been able to protect them.

I don't know if you're talking about this thread or people outside of it. But the feelings you're expressing sound like the guilt and shame of someone who has been abused. We take all the blame, want to beat ourselves up for what we think we deserve. But here certainly, I don't think anyone is blaming you or thinking these things about you.

Sorry if I've misenterpreted what you've said.

 

[frozen]

My plate is too full to see that my daughter's plate is fuller than mine.:(

 

[Loner]

My plate is too full to see that my daughter's plate is fuller than mine.:(

Thats ok, the fact that you can realize this and be aware of it is really freaking huge. She grew up in this shit, its all shes ever known, that has been so hard I am sure. Not just hard to endure but hard to wrap your head around and get a baseline for what is normal. Try not to beat yourself up about it.

I would also say that some of the anger you feel towards your daughter is just a mirror image of your anger at yourself for making the same mistakes. Try and turn that into empathy. You can't change the past, just do the best you can moving forward.

 

[Hashi]

I'm really uncomfortable reading some of the posts in this thread. I believe that everything's been said with the intention to help and give perspective. At the same time, I think some things have been based on too little information and - I have to say - perhaps not enough understanding. I've found out myself that I might think my own experience gives me insight into someone else's when it doesn't really, because I haven't been through the same thing they have and I'm not in their situation now.

Relationship abuse, the consequences for children and the effect on parent/child relationships are incredibly complex and they need a lot of healing and compassion.

I'm going to be really honest and say that I don't understand the dynamics of relationship abuse, and find it hard to think about because of my own family experience. But there are some places on the internet which are specifically about relationship abuse and how misunderstood it can be (including by people like me). I know of two of them - the website Link Removed and the relationship violence subforums on [DLMURL]http://www.pandys.org/forums[/DLMURL]. There are probably others. frozen, I wonder if these could help you find the validation you need in a safe environment?

Sending good wishes to everyone here.

Hashi

 

[Taven Carlsen]

My plate is too full to see that my daughter's plate is fuller than mine.:(

"Knowing that there is a trap is the first step in evading it", and here you are. Sounds like I've watched my father mess with my mother in a (similar) way, and that's garbage to have to deal with. Having been through this as the child I can only suggest cutting yourself off from him as soon as possile.