Anyone Get Anxious Going On A Vacation?

[IvyMillie]

Please forgive me for posting here as I am a carer. However, my husband has had a rough road with his PTSD and he got rather upset after his last therapy try. He's from the Vietnam Era. He doesn't like to talk about it. Sometimes he even says he doesn't have PTSD, because he is mad at the VA. I've appreciated your perspective as a sufferer because I don't understand. I'm still trying to figure out what are the things that trigger him.

Anyway, so over the years whenever we go on vacation--I've noticed this weird pattern. He ends up getting really mad about something. I mean out-of-proportion upset. Subconsciously I ended up not looking forward to vacations because for me it would ruin the whole trip. One of the worst flip outs was years ago when we went to Hawaii and he went ballistic. It just hit me so hard because here we were in such a beautiful place and I don't like having an argument. It tainted the whole trip for me. He doesn't apologize for his behavior because I don't think he understands what he does.

So please enlighten me. What goes on in your brain? Is there anything I should do about it? Now I mostly just expect a blow up, just don't know when. On the plus side, we haven't been going on vacations much in the last few years. However, we are planning a short getaway soon.

 

[intothelight]

Hi Ivy,

I have difficulty with getting ready to go on vacation, or really just going anywhere for that matter. The change in routine, the packing, the driving..... all are added stresses. For me, I worry about forgetting something, the unknowns of where I am going, wondering if I forgot something critical at home, etc. I do find myself a bit short-fused and am easily frustrated prior to a trip. I don't lash out at others, but tend to internalize and become distant.

The more notice I have, the more time to break down the activities, and the familiarity of the place I am going to, all help to alleviate the stress. I don't know if there are things your H can do to make the transition easier, or if this of any help.

Debbie

 

[Artemis]

I have been on vacation twice since my breakdown and each time has been hard. My worst symptoms are anxiety attacks and not sleeping. The anxiety starts on the way there. Then night time hits me really hard, I panick and become restless. My husband tries to help calm me down, which mostly works, but sometimes the frustration with the situation becomes too much and I will start becoming really impatient with him. It helps that I accept that I am unwell and probably always will be. It helps that my husband understands what is happening with me and stays very patient and supportive. Sometimes it gets to much for him too and we will have an argument.

I think it would help if you remind yourself constantly that any stress will make your husband harder to live with. Expect him to get stressed and moody when faced with new situations and do your best to try and support him. If it gets too much for you take some time out, give him time to calm down. Dont take it personally and dont let it ruin your mood. Its his problem and his emotions and all you can do is your best to be supportive. I have some kind of code with my husband too, we try to notice when things are getting out of hand and have a code word for time out. That means we stop fighting or talking all together, go to seperate rooms or areas until we both have cooled down and then we usually laugh that we could get so upset over nothing.