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Anyone Out There?

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I try not to think when I am alone. It never goes well. Oh wait, what I think about being alone, not what I think about when I am alone. As a person who has a problem with isolating myself, it is a real catch 22 for me. I don't want to be around people, but I don't want to be lonely. I spent a few years where I shut myself out from the outside world. I wanted to connect with people desperately, but at the same time, I couldn't bring myself to do it.

I am so glad I live in the internet age. It really does help because you can connect with people and avoid some of the vulnerability that comes with connecting with people face to face.
 
I try to stay busy so I do not dwell on the negative and try very hard to be positive.
 
Honestly I really like to be alone, and in a lot of ways I wish I was truly alone much more often. Unfortunately, after a while I start wanting someone to share my insights with, someone to share my love with, you know how it goes I am sure.

@gizmo Being alone doesn't mean negative, but PTSD changes how being alone functions, it complicates everything, because it complicates you.
 
I tend to isolate myself. I prefer to be alone but I like it when I know my family is around. My kids and husband. Even if they are not necessarily interacting with me. Just checking in from time to time. I like having the internet to "talk" to other people. That is more in my comfort level. I'm learning how to be around other people. Trying to get rid of the anxiety I feel.
 
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