Apartment Life

[Taylor30313]

I live above some neighbors and my neighbor has a boyfriend who is a drunk a-hole... I've had to call the police 3 times in 4 months. This lasta time was the worst he was hitting his ex girlfriend and her friend's boyfriend in the door way of her apartment. I was so jumpy and triggered because of the PTSD.. I hate it. I cannot calm down like normal people can. It triggers a lot from my childhood with ptsd piled on top of that. The violent alcoholic rage and the police... I just wondered if I was the only one or some things I could tell myself while I'm triggered .. thanks for listening!

 

[digger]

I used to live next door to similar - alcohol, violence, destruction, noise - over and over again. I used to be physically shaking hearing it and couldn't sleep and felt like I was constantly waiting for the next time even though it wasn't actually directed at me. I don't have any advice I'm afraid for solving it - I moved! But no, you're not the only one.

 

[arfie]

I often isolate on the road. Wilderness camps, motels, couches, etc. Fear of entrapment is one of my major symptoms. My triggers always travel with me, no matter how often I pull them out of my suitcase and try to just dump them like an over-used toothbrush. An incident like this would trigger me, no matter where it happened.

I begin my calming with two words, "Just breathe."

If I can regulate my breathing, my psyche seems know what I need from there. Sometimes I make a post like this to focus the event. Other times I call someone on my support net. A group meeting. Some time with my meditation readers. Journaling. My own coping tool box is pretty well stocked when I can remember where I put it...

Gentle hugs, Taylor. That is scary stuff.

 

[Candleflames]

That sucks that you are now witness to someone else's abuse. It is definitely hard to see and hear.

Arfie has some great suggestions. Has your therapist, or someone, gone over breathing and grounding techniques with you? They can be a great help right in the moment especially when combined with positive self talk. Tell yourself "This is not my drama. I am witness to someone else's abuse." Practice breathing, grounding and telling yourself this in between events so it doesn't feel foreign when you need the help.

And please, please, please keep calling the police. No one deserves to be pummeled, not us, and your neighbors. In reporting what is going on for someone else you are telling the little girl inside you that she deserved to be saved and now grown up you will do that. It shows great courage that you made those four calls already. You are stronger than you think you are.

 

[Taylor30313]

Wow, huge thanks to all of you. I needed this pep talk. I will try the things arfie suggested, remember what digger had to say, and use candleflames kind words to make myself feel better next time.

Im surprised you caught onto that candleflame. But you are right, not letting the secret of knowing what was happening below continue was half the battle. It was hard to reach out for help, because it was engrained not to call the police......... So little girl me was screaming no no no no! I'm glad I did listen and I'm glad I stood up for her, even if she isn't willing to stand up for herself.