I am really puzzled about something, that may or not have anything to do with ptsd.
I can honestly say, that 10 yrs ago, if given a scale of 1-10 on my average behavior, I would give myself at least a 9 all of the time. Not so much now. I probably average a 7 and if pushed hard enough, (not that it is anothers responsibility), I might stoop to a 3. Not proud of and it takes a lot of pushing. I am much better than I was a few yrs ago. I seem to get pushed when attacked particularly by addicts/alcoholics. Likely due to upbringing.
I don't know if it is because I isolate so much and it is a reflection of those I come in contact with, not my firect friends but general and /or acquaintaince. Everything from the person working at Subway to the magistrate gossiping and making fun of people while drinking in a bar. (not always directed toward me) In the past, most of the people that I have had social contact with are either fairly educated or in pursuit, and by educated, I include personal growth. Now that I isolate and many friends work a lot, I have little contact but these things dont happen.
I see it on social media. I am not referring to those who post about a cause either, but some have really become degrading of others in pursuit of their cause too. It seems that people refuse to disagree with respect for one another.
Almost 3 yrs ago, I briefly dated a guy that I discovered was a serious alcoholic within a couple of months and ended it immediately. His former girlfriend , ( I will call Joyce) was a real scrapper and big mouth and wanted to befriend me when I ended it. I wanted no part. That angered her. She harrassed me for awhile. Even last summer yelled things from her car and threw stuff on my lawn and porch at different times . With these exceptions, I have not given her a thought since the last drama she created when I broke it off with the alcoholic almost 3 yrs ago. She came into a business that I was at a couple weeks ago and started yelling whore, slut, c*nt. She is obsessed with some thong she thinks I have. I thought-(I would not be wearing a thong sister but didnt respond ) Then proceeded to yell that I caused her to get cancer.(thats a good one) I just ignored her of course. She left screaming "I will get you yet". She is 51 yrs old. At times, I swear I think it is where I live and that middle age middle class (supposedly ) women do not act like this, but it happens so frequently around here that I think its in the water. She was drinking alcohol and I was not.
Further, the magistrates encourage this kind of thing, I guess it keeps them employed. People file petty minor charges or seek protective orders in dv cases and restraining in other matters. There is also a bias, small community, where some minor things get big attention that should not, and cops refuse to file a report for another such as a theft of property unless the person can tell them who did it?????what the heck. The courts are full of this nonsense. She is also a pill head and sells her pills. The woman that was with her has a 22 yr old son busted for selling drugs(repeat problems and offenses) and in rehab for the ???? time. Of course it wont work when he gets the stuff from his mothers buddy. Im not going to seek a po because I dont think its effective and it just entertains the monkey court. Other reasons too such as her attention seeking.
(sorry I have the tendency to tell too much of the story-maybe more than necessary to make my point or include all facts)
Admittedly, our state is the 2nd in US for mental illness and I believe 1st for drug overdoses. We have a very serious drug problem here and no surprise with the rate of mental illness as they do go hand in hand often. I have ptsd and have suffered depression and anxiety and under circumstances have lost it myself, but about a current situation and impulsively, and never by attacking someone in public.
My scenerio is really irrelevant. It is just an example of stuff that happens that shocks me even though I have seen it before. I dont have space in my head for people like this. I tend to schluff it off but it comes back like gum on your shoe yrs later, usually with the person sicker than the last time I saw them.
It reminds me of the cheerleaders mom who killed another mother so her daughter would make the squad. It often involves kids excelling or men. (some men behave as poorly too, instigating and punching others.) I am very non competitive. I am not a big sport fan even though my kids played, I want everyone to win. lol. I use to work with battered women and was amazed at how long some women would endure the abuse, then the guy would get another woman and the victim was always more angry at the other woman, calling her names like Joyce did (she is a victim of dv from past)
I have always had this belief: Live your life as if you have an audiance of the world as a witness. That thought has slipped past me for short moments, but I try to remember that if retaliation ever enters my mind. I would be horrified to watch such a video with myself screaming those things, and what would I be modeling for the youth.
I would really like to know others experience of others behavior and even examples they have experienced. I am seriously considering moving (not because of this) and would like to be in better climate, but I sure would like to be in a less insane place as well. I am 57 yrs old and I just dont want to be around people like this. I have lived here since I was 14, but I really do not think (hope anyway) that this is as common elsewhere as it is here. Please share any thoughts as I desperately need to know that others think this is seriously abnormal and we have ptsd.
I can honestly say, that 10 yrs ago, if given a scale of 1-10 on my average behavior, I would give myself at least a 9 all of the time. Not so much now. I probably average a 7 and if pushed hard enough, (not that it is anothers responsibility), I might stoop to a 3. Not proud of and it takes a lot of pushing. I am much better than I was a few yrs ago. I seem to get pushed when attacked particularly by addicts/alcoholics. Likely due to upbringing.
I don't know if it is because I isolate so much and it is a reflection of those I come in contact with, not my firect friends but general and /or acquaintaince. Everything from the person working at Subway to the magistrate gossiping and making fun of people while drinking in a bar. (not always directed toward me) In the past, most of the people that I have had social contact with are either fairly educated or in pursuit, and by educated, I include personal growth. Now that I isolate and many friends work a lot, I have little contact but these things dont happen.
I see it on social media. I am not referring to those who post about a cause either, but some have really become degrading of others in pursuit of their cause too. It seems that people refuse to disagree with respect for one another.
Almost 3 yrs ago, I briefly dated a guy that I discovered was a serious alcoholic within a couple of months and ended it immediately. His former girlfriend , ( I will call Joyce) was a real scrapper and big mouth and wanted to befriend me when I ended it. I wanted no part. That angered her. She harrassed me for awhile. Even last summer yelled things from her car and threw stuff on my lawn and porch at different times . With these exceptions, I have not given her a thought since the last drama she created when I broke it off with the alcoholic almost 3 yrs ago. She came into a business that I was at a couple weeks ago and started yelling whore, slut, c*nt. She is obsessed with some thong she thinks I have. I thought-(I would not be wearing a thong sister but didnt respond ) Then proceeded to yell that I caused her to get cancer.(thats a good one) I just ignored her of course. She left screaming "I will get you yet". She is 51 yrs old. At times, I swear I think it is where I live and that middle age middle class (supposedly ) women do not act like this, but it happens so frequently around here that I think its in the water. She was drinking alcohol and I was not.
Further, the magistrates encourage this kind of thing, I guess it keeps them employed. People file petty minor charges or seek protective orders in dv cases and restraining in other matters. There is also a bias, small community, where some minor things get big attention that should not, and cops refuse to file a report for another such as a theft of property unless the person can tell them who did it?????what the heck. The courts are full of this nonsense. She is also a pill head and sells her pills. The woman that was with her has a 22 yr old son busted for selling drugs(repeat problems and offenses) and in rehab for the ???? time. Of course it wont work when he gets the stuff from his mothers buddy. Im not going to seek a po because I dont think its effective and it just entertains the monkey court. Other reasons too such as her attention seeking.
(sorry I have the tendency to tell too much of the story-maybe more than necessary to make my point or include all facts)
Admittedly, our state is the 2nd in US for mental illness and I believe 1st for drug overdoses. We have a very serious drug problem here and no surprise with the rate of mental illness as they do go hand in hand often. I have ptsd and have suffered depression and anxiety and under circumstances have lost it myself, but about a current situation and impulsively, and never by attacking someone in public.
My scenerio is really irrelevant. It is just an example of stuff that happens that shocks me even though I have seen it before. I dont have space in my head for people like this. I tend to schluff it off but it comes back like gum on your shoe yrs later, usually with the person sicker than the last time I saw them.
It reminds me of the cheerleaders mom who killed another mother so her daughter would make the squad. It often involves kids excelling or men. (some men behave as poorly too, instigating and punching others.) I am very non competitive. I am not a big sport fan even though my kids played, I want everyone to win. lol. I use to work with battered women and was amazed at how long some women would endure the abuse, then the guy would get another woman and the victim was always more angry at the other woman, calling her names like Joyce did (she is a victim of dv from past)
I have always had this belief: Live your life as if you have an audiance of the world as a witness. That thought has slipped past me for short moments, but I try to remember that if retaliation ever enters my mind. I would be horrified to watch such a video with myself screaming those things, and what would I be modeling for the youth.
I would really like to know others experience of others behavior and even examples they have experienced. I am seriously considering moving (not because of this) and would like to be in better climate, but I sure would like to be in a less insane place as well. I am 57 yrs old and I just dont want to be around people like this. I have lived here since I was 14, but I really do not think (hope anyway) that this is as common elsewhere as it is here. Please share any thoughts as I desperately need to know that others think this is seriously abnormal and we have ptsd.