General Are these signs of coming out of isolation?

[Freida]

He's probably overwhelmingly scared and thus numb cause that's likely a really strong emotion. If I had someone I know that stayed in the Bahamas with this hurricane, I would be insanely scared for them too. If he's a vet, maybe scared to loose more friends. That could take him back to his trauma if he lost friends while in service, you know?

This...^^^^
He can't do anything to help them, he doesn't know if they are alive, all he can do is wait. All on top of what made him isolate in the first place.
Damn. I can't even imagine.

 

[anon1234]

I’ve been so sad about the Bahamas. I parked myself in front of the Weather Channel for a long time watching developments and started looking at the videos coming out from the Bahamas. The pictures coming are truly heartbreaking and the videos are very difficult to watch. After making a donation to the Red Cross, I had to go for a long hike to stabilize myself.

Hoping his friends (and anyone else who has friends and a family there) are safe.

Is he a vet? The media coming out of the Bahamas could be very triggering.

 

[Fitlady]

Yes he definitely tends to be stoic and sa

I’ve been so sad about the Bahamas. I parked myself in front of the Weather Channel for a long time watching developments and started looking at the videos coming out from the Bahamas. The pictures coming are truly heartbreaking and the videos are very difficult to watch. After making a donation to the Red Cross, I had to go for a long hike to stabilize myself.

Hoping his friends (and anyone else who has friends and a family there) are safe.

Is he a vet? The media coming out of the Bahamas could be very triggering.

Yws he is a Vet. All so very sad in the Bahamas. I sent him a message saying thinking of u and ur family/friends. I honestly do not think I should message him for a minute. Just really unsure how he is feeling considering he said he was in pain just 2 days ago. Surprised he tried to call on yesterday. I am just concerned about his mental about everything. I feel overwhelmed for him.

This...^^^^
He can't do anything to help them, he doesn't know if they are alive, all he can do is wait. All on top of what made him isolate in the first place.
Damn. I can't even imagine.

I know. I feel overwhelmed for him. So very sad.

 

[Fitlady]

Well from what I can guess all is ok with his friends. He told me there are in Naussau. Again by text and short. I did not want to ask many questions and I am just kind of trying to match his communication level. He is still giving one to two word texts with them primarily saying hi and how am I. To them I reply I say I am good and I say I am thinking of him. And that is about it for our dialog. For the sufferers, for him it definitely seems like it easier to type than to talk....what does it feel like when u think to text and struggle to bring yourself to do it? Are u fighting an urge or is it just plain exhausting or both?

 

[lostforgottensoul]

the sufferers, for him it definitely seems like it easier to type than to talk....what does it feel like when u think to text and struggle to bring yourself to do it? Are u fighting an urge or is it just plain exhausting or both?

I have trouble with even text at times. Even on here. One or two words is all I can do. My brain just doesn't work. It's when I am super sympomatic. It is exhausting but it's more, my brain just will only spit out a few words. And many times I have no words. I struggled with this recently. I can feel it but I can't seem to describe it. It's not brain fog. Or maybe it is. I'm not sure what it is. My brain just won't work for me. I think its part inability to be rational and part brain fog and part my brain is spinning too fast and I can't slow it down to type anything out [ETA: Or can only type a few main words]. If that makes sense.

 

[Fitlady]

@lostforgottensoul yes it makes perfect sense. I also am noticing that when he texts or calls it is usually really early like 3:00 to 7:00 am timeframe. I do know he had been having problems sleeping and I wonder if it easier although still very difficult to have it together to communicate (even if it is one to word sentences)...the first thing in the morning because by the end of the day the exhaustion/anxiety level is at all time high. Is that ur experience?

 

[lostforgottensoul]

by the end of the day the exhaustion/anxiety level is at all time high. Is that ur experience

Yep. By 3pm my body is starting to shut down.

 

[Fitlady]

Sufferers, is it common when you start coming out of isolation that you do not remembered what u discussed before you left when you were symptomatic? So you basically repeat everything that you discussed before you went into isolation as if it was new news? I say this because I just got a phone call from BF and he talked nonstop for about 15 mins (mind all conversations and texts right after he left were less than 2 min and one or two line sentences texts) telling me about what was going on with him (all of which were things that I knew and we discussed before he isolated and became super symptomatic). It is like he just woke up from a deep sleep and is leaving off mentally from where we were 3 weeks ago. I just went along with it like I had never heard it before (he actually threw in a few more specifics...but nonetheless still stuff I knew). He said he is starting to feel now.

 

[Freida]

We knew what you meant *)

Are u fighting an urge or is it just plain exhausting or both?

yep.

Supporters, is it common when u start coming out of isolation that u do not remembered what u discussed before u left being very symptomatic and u basically repeat everything that u discussed before u went into isolation as if it was new news? I say this because I just got a phone call from BF and he talked nonstop for about 15 mins (mind all conversations and texts right after he left were less than 2 min and one or two line sentences texts) telling me about what was going on with him (all of which were things that I knew and we discussed before he isolated and became super symptomatic)? It is like he just work up from a deep sleep and is leaving off mentally from where we were 3 weeks ago. I just went along with it like I had never heard it before (he actually threw in a few more specifics...but nonetheless still stuff I knew). He said he is starting to feel now.

Ok - i busted up laughing because ...well... yep. Hubby will look at me sometimes and say -- "you do realize we've had this conversation right?" I never know if its the fibro or the ptsd but when I'm symptomatic it's really bad.

It is like he just work up from a deep sleep and is leaving off mentally from where we were 3 weeks ago.
yep.
That's kind of how it feels. I totally dissociated right now and I can't track the days to save my life. I feel like I'm sleep walking trying. When I'm really bad I'm a zombie. I go thru the motions but that's it. Then it ends and POP! Oh look, I'm awake. What did I miss? It sucks. :(

 

[Justmehere]

It's a good he is beginning to feel again.

is it common when u start coming out of isolation that u do not remembered what u discussed before u left being very symptomatic and u basically repeat everything that u discussed before u went into isolation as if it was new news?

Dissociation (which can happen for some when symptoms are super high) can lead to memory loss or related difficulties. I've done what you describe happening, without realizing it.

Some therapists see fight or flight as mid-level symptoms, and freeze happens when fight or flight gets too intense. Freeze is another way to describe dissociating or checking out. Escaping the pain. When someone numbs out, they tend to be flooded on the other side of it as they go back down to the fight or flight level of symptoms. It can lead to the numb-flood cycle. Numb out then get flooded. Hopefully, the flood doesn't come though.

It also could be something else entirely, or that he remembers, and this is just the way he is getting back to talking again.

 

[Fitlady]

We knew what you meant *)

yep.


Ok - i busted up laughing because ...well... yep. Hubby will look at me sometimes and say -- "you do realize we've had this conversation right?" I never know if its the fibro or the ptsd but when I'm symptomatic it's really bad.

It is like he just work up from a deep sleep and is leaving off mentally from where we were 3 weeks ago.
yep.
That's kind of how it feels. I totally dissociated right now and I can't track the days to save my life. I feel like I'm sleep walking trying. When I'm really bad I'm a zombie. I go thru the motions but that's it. Then it ends and POP! Oh look, I'm awake. What did I miss? It sucks. :(

So I am definitely seeing how the dissociation ties in. Early on he told me that his therapist said that he dissociates. And I also noticed that he had medicine prescribed for dissociation. During times when he was not very symptomatic, I have noticed times where he would disconnect/dissociate/look confused and then jump back into the conversation (sometimes with dialogue from a few mins earlier). Again, I went with the flow. I personally know having to disconnect for periods of time to get things accomplished and I shared my personal experience of that with him. This time, however, was the first where I am seeing disconnection connected with isolation and for an extended period of time. But it makes complete sense. In our conversation, he mentioned that he had felt out of place for the last 2 to 3 weeks (which I would argue was more like 4 to 5 weeks) and to me it sounded like he felt out of control....so it sounds like the dissociation and flight reflex u guys mentioned were in tandem. And now he is waking up from it. At any rate, he called me a “friend” who is really appreciate being in his life....and I am ok with that. I want him to be ok...I do not get caught up with semantics that he needs for processing. Lastly he apologized for being disconnected and he is feeling better and that he will make sure he is Touch. I said ok. (Thinking about it He has been in touch (for whatever phase he was in), but not engaged, but I am glad he noticed and apologized). Still thinking he needs time so will just continue to let him call and text. (He did mention that getting my “thinking of u check in texts” helped pull him thru). So similar to what I have heard some of u sufferers say....show me u care....but not too much.

 

[Fitlady]

It's a good he is beginning to feel again.

Dissociation (which can happen for some when symptoms are super high) can lead to memory loss or related difficulties. I've done what you describe happening, without realizing it.

Some therapists see fight or flight as mid-level symptoms, and freeze happens when fight or flight gets too intense. Freeze is another way to describe dissociating or checking out. Escaping the pain. When someone numbs out, they tend to be flooded on the other side of it as they go back down to the fight or flight level of symptoms. It can lead to the numb-flood cycle. Numb out then get flooded. Hopefully, the flood doesn't come though.

It also could be something else entirely, or that he remembers, and this is just the way he is getting back to talking again.

I mentioned in my reply to @Freida about now seeing the first connection with his dissociation and flight. He told me early on about his therapist saying he dissociates and I noticed moments where he would. So all of this correlates with the timing of the super extra stress of projects, mom passing, his stressor cup filling up, numbing, and isolating. So I mentioned I would just wait for him to text and or call. It seems he is waking up but I sense he is still symptomatic because he mentioned how much he appreciated me and trusting me but said “friend”. And that I can be...he still seems pretty anxious and mentioned his mind is racing. And I agree with him that he is not stabilized...but progressing. So I will look out for the flood that u mentioned. He also mentioned some other things but will write back soon. Have to get ready for work.