Childhood Are You Ok With Your Name?

[Lucycat]

I don't like or use my real name. A shortened version 'just happened' when I was at school and I have stuck with that. However as with others on here, my parents and siblings insist on using my proper name and I hate to hear it. I also have to use it on official forms, however I stood my ground with my name badge and ID for work and they allowed me to use the name I prefer.

 

[ekane]

I changed mine too. What I don't understand is since you are bothered, why you don't simply demand everyone call you by the name you prefer? If anyone fails, you simply do not respond. Why can't you sign a card how you want? I'm pretty sure that if you can operate a pen you could sign with an "x" or even a paw print doodle or better yet, insert your photo and avoid names altogether if you like. Its your life, your name, your boundaries, your dignity and respect. So if you can't have people call you by the name you prefer, then those people shouldn't be in your life anyway and definitely don't deserve any holiday cards from you!

 

[theotherside]

@ekane thanks :)
I guess i just dont want them to know why i changed my name..
But you are so right

 

[digger]

I hate having to fill out forms that require my middle name as it is a name shared with one of my dads other victims and I can't write it or say it without thinking of her.

I had problems with my surname for a while because of the association with my dad, but I've mostly come round to being okay with that now by reminding myself that it's shared with other family members too who I care about and am happy to be associated with.

I don't really like my first name, but don't feel as strongly about it as my middle name. Interestingly, as a child though, shortly after my dad left the family home, I refused to answer to my full name anymore and wanted to be known only by one of its shortened versions even though, or perhaps because (?), it hadn't generally been used before. I don't remember at the time having a concrete reason for this, but with hindsight it would appear there was some attempt to shed something of my identity or to leave something behind maybe. I still don't like the full version of my first name being used.

 

[theotherside]

Thanks everyone :)
The truth is i like my name i had all my life..i just left it because it reminds me of painful stuff..

 

[falling_wave]

Did anyone try to change it legally? I tried it because I hate that my license and bills I get in the mail have my old name. Apparently it costs 600 dollars!! They need to publish the changes in 3 newspapers for two week and pay legal fees. I still want to do it soon but was not expecting that at all!

 

[theotherside]

I was lucky to be able to switch to another name on my bc..so it didnt cost anything

 

[falling_wave]

@theotherside How do you do that? I am interested! I went to family court and they told me that was the process.

 

[theotherside]

I was always called by my middle name my whole life..never by the first...so all my legal stuff was already with my new name that had never been used...so that was lucky for me.

 

[moonbeam]

No I hated it. Which is why I had it legally changed. Now I love it.

But I've always disliked that name and never met someone with that name that I liked (though I have only known 2 people so its a small sampling).

 

[ghotiff]

I changed my name and I did it before I knew the "why" of why I hated it. It was a real shock when I discovered that it was my abuse that likely caused me to hate and change it.

 

[theotherside]

@ghotiff...that's what happened in my case as well