are you open with people about personal things such as mental illness and trauma?

[hope4us]

do you mention your mental disorder to anyone if the subject comes up in conversation? or are you very secretive about it? do most people ONLY tell those things to their close friends? i dont mind being open about my personal problems, but i worry about making the other person feel awkward. im sure they can always tell ive got issues anyways though.

 

[somerandomguy]

My PTSD is not a secret by any means, but it's also not anyone else's business.

Of course I've told close friends and family and even done a public disclosure of it to less close friends on Facebook to help me feel more in control. I've told my boss, who needs to know so she can provide accommodations when necessary. I've told a couple of co-workers who also have PTSD.

But only my closest friends and family know WHY I have PTSD. I don't think that would ever be appropriate for a random conversation.

 

[Rani G2]

anyone if the subject comes up in conversation?

@hope4us Hi! If the time is ripe enough, if there is a trust-foundation, and if I can see that there is a way to communicate so that its digestable for that person and for myself..yes I will. When I do, I usually tend to get a bit scientific about it, because over time I've realized it creates a healthy distance to my own emotional constitution and there is No Victim label to it (Which I try to avoid, as most people tend to interprete this in wrong ways). I dont expect anyone to "get it"...

 

[Rleathen]

I have found there are 3 types of people who talk to me about my mental health and PTSD/Depression. Those that deserve a full and detailed answer or explanation, those that deserve a 1 word answer and those that deserve nothing. For example there are some that I have talked with where I went into detail about the circumstances surrounding my experiences with suicide ideation. Then there are some that I may choose to briefly refer to "dark times" of my journey and then there are some I choose to say absolutely nothing to.

 

[RavenWine]

I will tell anyone about my PTSD and depression. I won't just tell anyone about my abusive past right away. It took me time to open up to my friends and family about it but it gets easier to discuss and helps me not feel as alone about it

 

[Tinyflame]

Agree with @Rleathen ; 1st is rare, 2nd esp if I owe an apology or fear I've hurt someone, or it may help someone, and 3rd is normal/ routine, or for protection/ necessary.

 

[siniang]

I'm not. But I'm generally a very private person IRL. I have a tendency to overshare and over the years learned to simply not share anything personal unless I'm being asked directly and I've known the people for a really long time, hence know them well enough to be able to determine their question is genuine and not just polite. It happened too many times that people were clearly overwhelmed and withdrew. Or they don't actually "listen" and only hear me "whining/complaining".

I also try to separate private and professional life as best as I possibly can. It actually makes me extremely uncomfortable having to share anything really personal (past normal small talk).

I told my boss a couple months ago that I'm dealing with "major psychological issues" and that I'm seeking help for them, without going into detail (aka actual diagnoses). I'm currently facing potentially having to explain more -- and I'm really uncomfortable because I don't want to push my shit unto them, unasked. Because once I start, I do overshare in an attempt to make myself clear beyond a doubt/explain as best as I can.

If that makes sense.

I've told a couple of friends whom I know struggle with their own mental health issues and therefore will understand.

Mostly, I also just don't want to deal with platitudes and "well-meant advice" and, particularly, their sympathy. I want understanding/acknowledgement of why I'm struggling, but I don't want them to be sorry for me. Whenever someone's said "I'm sorry", it never felt genuine, somehow. Just small-talky. With a touch of "it can't really possibly be thaaaaaaat bad". (and yeah, I know this is projection as I can't mind-read)

 

[Whirlwind]

I'm currently facing potentially having to explain more --

You do not have share anything with your employer. I assume you are in the US? You have rights to privacy and you do not have to identify your medical condition, differentiate as psychological etc. Say nothing. HR, boss etc are not your friend in this. I'm serious.

Familiarize yourself with FMLA & ADA. It can be complicated but the basics are straightforward. First thing is to identify your therapist, doctor...whoever is helping with your PTSD as they can drive the work accommodations as needed. They will know how this works and if not find out.

I'm jaded for a good reason having dealt with countless cases of employee rights being violated, job loss etc.

Good luck,

Whirlwind

 

[siniang]

You do not have share anything with your employer. I assume you are in the US? You have rights to privacy and you do not have to identify your medical condition, differentiate as psychological etc. Say nothing. HR, boss etc are not your friend in this. I'm serious.

Familiarize yourself with FMLA & ADA. It can be complicated but the basics are straightforward. First thing is to identify your therapist, doctor...whoever is helping with your PTSD as they can drive the work accommodations as needed. They will know how this works and if not find out.

I'm jaded for a good reason having dealt with countless cases of employee rights being violated, job loss etc.

Good luck,

Whirlwind

I appreciate your sentiment, I really do, but my situation is a little different in that my employer is also my PhD advisor/mentor and that for me as an international graduate student all the protections you Citizens get simply don't apply.

 

[Mee]

I am open about it because for me it’s the easier pathway.

I do not work, for me that would bring a whole other set of concerns about disclosure.

 

[Whirlwind]

... PhD advisor/mentor and that for me as an international graduate student all the protections you Citizens get simply don't apply.

Maybe. Hippa still applies and if you are paid then it does apply regardless of your international status and whether you pay SS etc. With that "all the protections of citizens" should be cautioned it is sadly limited unless a contract employee.

-W

 

[Ronin]

To answer that line of Qs, nah.

I disclose if I have to or it can bring people to brinks of sanity. Otherwise, mostly just my crap.

It's not that it's a secret. It's just not the most mattering thing. The same dx tells me big nothing about aall the things I need to know to either work with someone, trust them, or both.

How people treat others tells me heckuva more I need to know, than tabs on demons they officially struggle with.