Areas That Need Improvement

[Hush92]

So I posted on here before mentioning I have made so much progress in my discovery I feel like I wouldn't even still qualify for a ptsd diagnosis anymore. However I do acknowledge that there are a couple areas I still have work to do on and was wondering if anyone had any tips.

1. I still have issues with aggression. I think this comes from hyperarousal but I'm not sure. Ever since I developed ptsd it felt like I became like a raw sensory nerve in that I experience everything from my senses intensely. It ends up irritating me immensely and then I end up in a terrible mood and feeling aggressive. One particularly challenging environment for me is taking the bus, especially when it is crowded. I become absolutely enraged with the people touching me (it's not their fault when the bus is super packed) and it can really mess up my day. I am not sure how to resolve this.

2. I'm still very hesitant to try anything physically intimate, and still scared to go to the gyno even though I've been experiencing heath issues lately that would make it beneficial for me to go. The fear of physical intimacy means I completely avoid relationships and even interacting with guys who I may be interested in....I'm not sure how to get over this either, except by somehow falling into a relationship and then just taking the plunge and hoping I don't trigger my issues like I did before.

I feel like if I can overcome those two things I can say I successfully conquered ptsd.

 

[Ronin]

Good news :D

So damned good to hear them & thank you for coming to us with them. Well done, an amazing job.

 

[Freedomfighter]

I think there are often issues besides PTSD too, tend to forget that not everything in life is due to PTSD. I do not fear physical relations, I just fear people that attempt to force me into physical relations.

I hate it when people touch me that are complete strangers, especially if these people have proven that they are abusive. I hate it when superiors at work touch me, which is a forced action that makes me mad, but then there are so many dummies out there that seem to think they can get chummy with me without even knowing me, I would have to turn in someone's ass every 10 minutes which would not be beneficial for me. But yeah I understand that aggression when someone tries to get too close....

 

[Hush92]

I think there are often issues besides PTSD too, tend to forget that not everything in life is d...

For me I attribute it to the ptsd because before developing it I actually felt safer and comfortable in crowds. I also never had problems with anger or aggression beforehand, and no issues with physical touch either.

It makes me sad because I feel like a very different person now and I am not happy with the changes

 

[Nevermore]

@Hush92 that's so good that many/most of your symptoms have faded away. I see that in myself too except for a fear that comes over me - the trigger is often invalidation or feeling looked down on - a fear that becomes aggression. Just had an outburst of it and it wasn't pretty
Similar to you also - I've avoided anything gyn for over 10 years.
I've heard now that here in Australia they have designed a take home pap smear test for women like me who just don't and won't do it. That's something good!
The fear that leads to aggression comes less frequently, but it still scares me as it's almost like I'm a different person when it happens.
But it's amazing to see improvement isn't it? It feels so grim, the life-long status of PTSD, but it def has gotten less intense for me.
I'm working on the fear. Hope to be able to see it clearly when it comes.