Relationship Army boyfriend ptsd

[Dode]

hello,
I started dating this guy a few months back. I had met him a year before. He told me right from the start he had issues with ptsd, I said I would be supportive and help however he needed.
I have seen his ptsd episodes right from the start(flashbacks, etc). He warned me he would go MIA. He spent the weekend at my house, he told me how much he loved me and how scared he was to lose me and he wants a future with me. He left on the Tuesday and I haven’t heard from him since. That was almost 2 weeks ago.
The weekend after I hadn’t heard from him, his dad called me and said he was worried about my boyfriend and his symptoms, but he goes through this cycle where he doesn’t talk to people, even his sister which is his world. But his dad said he was at base and would be back in a couple of weeks.
I have tried calling(he won’t answer me but he would answer for other number he didn’t know), texting, leaving messages being supportive and I have got nothing back. I know he has read them.
I can handle the ptsd flashbacks etc but not saying anything to me is killing me. I start to worry about if he does want to be with me and what I did wrong.
I’m hoping this is just him going MIA and hopefully I will get to hear from him soon. Hopefully I can get some answers.

 

[Deleted member 44240]

hello,
I started dating this guy a few months back. I had met him a year before. He told me right from the start he had i...

Greetings @Dode

Sound like the classic signs of the symptoms of ptsd. I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this right now. I hope things can resolve themselves soon.

 

[Sweetpea76]

Was this your first weekend together? The first time he talked love and future, or at least so directly?

If he's an isolator he may retreat after expressing deep emotions.

Is this the longest you haven't heard from him?

 

[Freida]

Sounds like it could be a possible anniversary reaction -- meaning the time of year when you relive something really horrible. It's pretty common for us to isolate while we try to get it sorted out.

check out my thread what are they thinking Lots of conversations there about how the whole isolation thing works

And no -- if its an anniversary reaction you didn't do anything wrong...

 

[LuckiLee]

It's all so confusing! The PTSD stress cup explains alot. Good luck!

 

[EveHarrington]

All the “support” could be adding to his stress and making the isolation worse

 

[Sweetpea76]

Definitely agree with @EveHarrington. Constant texts and phone calls will not help the situation. It will probably make it worse.

 

[Buttercup]

I third that. All attempts to communicate with him probably making things worse.

He warned you he would go MIA. Doesn't make it feel any hetter, but at least you know this is what he does. With that knowledge, maybe you can work with that.

 

[LuckiLee]

Oh and when he does make contact don't expect answers or clarity. It could take days to get him relaxed enough to even have a conversation about it. If at all.

Read around the forum. Lots of information here.

 

[Freida]

^^^^^^ this! I came out of an isolation at the end of January. But I'm still not all the way back. I don't really want to talk to hubby, or function, or do anything. And god help anyone who asks me where I've been....because I will bite their head off. It will take another couple weeks to get back all the way.
But. Understand this. Where I went mentally and why? Those are things you don't get to know. So don't bother asking.