Asexuals?

[StarChild]

I didn't know what it was but I've always been very attracted to people's minds.. male or female.. I tend to get into relationships that are extremely close..

I love intellectual intimacy

Dear @icarusa, these are really beautiful statements.:)

I don't know if it's because of trauma..

Did your trauma involve sexual abuse? If yes, I'd clearly say, it is because of that. Have you ever talked about your asexuality with your therapist? What is their take on it?

I enjoy hugging and cuddling

Oh, yeah, me too! Nothing as good as a long, hearty cuddle! :inlove:

people always say "asexuality is abnormal

I was thinking hard about this one... But no, I never heard or read people making this statement. May I ask you...Did you directly receive such statements from others? I could imagine, that this would have hurt you quite much.

I have my own religion so to speak, certainly not a Christian one

@notsurewheretoturn, Could you please elaborate more on this one, for a better understanding ? What has christian religion to do with sexuality, in your opinion? I would be very interested to learn, how you came to this conclusion.

Oh, and thank you guys in advance for your explanations. :tup:

 

[notsurewheretoturn]

@TreeHugger the comment was made on the back of the post above saying that they didn't believe contraception should exist although they weren't religious. (I can't quote as my phone has a hissy fit if I ask it to quote previous posts) As I have previously posted, my religion is paganism, hence the comment of it certainly not bring Christian.

It wasn't anything about sexuality and religion.

Hope this clarifies. :)

 

[katz]

--- just so I can tell someone.....when I was...being hurt, violently...I reacted physically. I understand now that this is more common then people want to admit--and perfectly normal . But, I have no interest in sex, or at least intercourse, it is far too painful. I don't know if I ever will. I just hope that I will be able to be loved for other reasons, not for just being able to do "it". I would love to be loved for just being me. Do you think that there are people out there like that? (sniffle, sniffle).

 

[notsurewheretoturn]

@katz I certainly hope do.

I think the world would be a far more terrible place if people were only judged by what they were like/prepared to do in bed in a relationship.

Respect has to play a major part.

 

[sun seeker]

I have very little interest in sex. This is something I hardly ever talk about because the few times I have, people look at me like I have two heads. It's not that my body can't respond; it can. It's that when in the presence of men who are expressing an interest in me, I freeze and regress to about the age of five. Last time this happened, it was so obvious, I came home and curled up on the couch to eat cookies and watch cartoons to comfort myself. It's hard to imagine sex where I am not in a passive role or being victimized. So I avoid. Have for some 20 years.

So I agree, there is asexuality, and then there is what might look like asexuality that is covering up something else. Will I ever be able to heal it? I don't know. It feels like a long, long way away and there is so much else that feels like more of a priority.

This was hard to write, and I probably never would have if someone else hadn't brought it up. I'm going to go away now so I don't regret it.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

I hope we can all come to realise and accept that asexuality is not abnormal. And that we can find others who will respect and love us for who we are.

 

[Ocean5]

Not sure if it helps, but a smart friend in high school told me she was asexual. (And I was not hitting on her LOL.) And she wished more people took the time to understood her.

 

[Purplemunchkin]

My Dad's best friend is asexual and is his one of the most awesome people I know :cool:

He had a girlfriend in his late teens (in the sixties) because that's what you did. It lasted about a year and apparently he tried to only see her when alcohol was involved so he could avoid having sex as he found the whole idea icky.

He is now 65, has been retired for 10 years and has a very comfortable lifestyle with no spouse or kids to support. He has loads of friends and hobbies. He comes to visit my parents one weekend a month, and is more family to me that most of my blood relations.