Asking For A Prayer

[HisBreeBree]

Asking you all to send up a prayer for M and B. My boyfriend or I guess now ex boyfriend dealing with PTSD or something similar after being in the army. I didn't understand why he was cold and distant until I began volunteering at the the va hospital and researching effects of war. He now says he can't be in a relationship with anyone because he has too much to deal with. He still loves me as I love him. I've known from the start he is my gift from God and I feel so bad that I pushed him away from me and that he now feels he has go through this alone. I am praying for his healing and for him to give me a second chance to be the woman I should have been, had I known what I know now. I have faith that God will bring us through. I ask that you keep us in your prayers. I am in heartbreak. I'm praying for you all as well. God bless you.

 

[I'll make tea]

I'll be praying for you.
Why do you think you have not been the woman you should have been?
Have you talked to your boyfriend about thre possibility of PTSD?

Do not be mad at me, but I think it is unwise to post both of your names here.

 

[HisBreeBree]

Thanks for the tip, I'm new to this.

Well I wasn't the woman I should have been because I didn't understand or even know he was dealing with anything. Of course it's not something he talks about. After meeting others like him, I see signs of PTSD. I was pushy with him, accusatory. And didn't understand why he was so cold and distant at times and would get really upset with him. Now that I know what I'm getting into and that these actions are not intentional, I'm in a better position to be supportive to him, but he feels like he can only deal with it alone which I think is unhealthy. He told me when we got together that I helped him "feel" again. I pray that he remembers that and the love we shared and that we still have.

I appreciate your prayer, it's needed.

 

[Barconian]

Earn his trust again :)

 

[HisBreeBree]

But how?

 

[Barconian]

Be strong and keep knocking on his door with good intent

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I disagree. Let it be for awhile. Let him know you're there for him but don't push. Intentions don't matter if he feels that you're being intrusive.

 

[scout86]

Be honest with him.

One of my friends (who really DOES know how I think) told I guy I used to go out with, the thing he had to realize about me is that you have to "prove up" everyday. I don't think that's literally true, but it's kind of true. I ALWAYS wonder if I can trust someone. I'm always looking for evidence that I can't. That's not about them, it's about me. What I appreciate is someone who approaches things in a simple, uncomplicated, straightforward manner. When I get to believing I can count on that approach, then I can quit working quite so hard to look for "real motives". And that's a HUGE relief. If I can count on someone to tell me exactly what they are thinking and how they feel about stuff, I appreciate it. If they expect me to read their mind AT ALL........ I'm terrible at it, I KNOW I'm terrible at it, I won't do it, I don't want to do it....... Get what I mean? I can and will forgive someone who decides they've made a mistake. I make LOTS of mistakes myself, I'd better be willing to forgive others. What is just "too hard" is trying to sort stuff out without enough information.

You sound like you're being pretty hard on yourself. There is no reason you "should have known" anything about him he didn't tell you. There is also no reason you should have known anything about a subject, PTSD or anything else, that you were encountering for the first time. We're all human. We all do things we wish we'd done better. We all do things we WOULD have done better, if we'd known more. No one ought to get hung for that. You pick yourself up, you explain what happened to anyone worth explaining too, and you drive on.

I hope things work well for both of you. But, now that I think about it, there are also times when a person needs to make a journey alone. Right now, I'm not sure I'd want a SO in my life. If it were to happen, I guess I'd deal with it, but there can be lots of potential for "collateral damage" and sometimes it's just easier not to have to worry about that for a time. Does that make any sense?

 

[HisBreeBree]

Scout86, I hear where you're coming from. With him, I'm not even asking for a traditional relationship. I just want to be there for him until he's ready. I know that I pushed him to the point he's at now, and I need to correct it.

Solara, well I do plan to give him his space while I continue educating myself on all the subjects at hand. I will reach out to him and let him know I'm there for him though. I have strong faith that this is a test from God and that it's something we can get through. I'm fine with being patient.


Barconian, I do plan to be consistent with him. But I also feel if I pull too much, it will push him further away. I'm trying to do my best, keep praying, and be patient while still being proactive for us.

Thank you all so much. I appreciate your points of views. Please keep my love and I in your thoughts and prayers. We both need it.

 

[Changing4Best]

Last summer, or maybe it was even the summer before, my apartment was robbed and my birth certificate, marriage certificate, husband's death certificate and original social security and ID cards were stolen. I am trying to obtain copies of all these things and am running into trouble doing so. It seems that marriage certs and death certs are not kept as long as birth certs are, and so it looks as though I may not be able to obtain all the things that I've lost! I will have a police report on Monday that these things were stolen from me and at least I had my present ID, Social Security Card and some other things with me, so these were not taken. BUT! What if that is not enough!!! I know that what ifs are dangerous things to start pondering, but I started to do so already and am figuratively pulling my hair out worrying what all this will mean to my future. I am freaking out! I am already collecting Social Security Disability, so at least when I needed all these things, I did have them when I applied. Still.... Please pray for me.