Asking for help (severe chronic insomnia)

[Peaceofmindd]

Hello everyone,

Writing a post here to ask for some advice, for those who may have gotten through similar events. Sorry for my english as it’s not my first language.



8 months ago I lived a very strong emotionnal shock. The following night of this shock I lost the desire to sleep and had a sleepless night. I didn’t think too much of it, but the next nights I still didn’t feel the desire to sleep and had the impression to stay awake all night long (when I probably got a few hours here and there). I grew more and more tired (but without feeling the sensation of being tired, if it makes sense ?) with the weeks going as I never felt again the desire to sleep, and never felt the sensation of being rested.

For these last 8 months, I only felt the desire to sleep ONE night. So i’m basically living a nightmare.

I tried many complements : magnesium bisglycinate, iron, B vitamins, ashwagandha, zinc, vitamin C, vitamin D, niacin, selenium, valerian, chamomile, essential oils, CBD, even alcohol, accupressure which along with lavender oil on my wrists were the only two things that helped me get each one or two 5 hours nights, but the effect stopped after. Those complements didn’t change

For the first 6 months I probably slept between 1 and 3 hours each night at best (with no more than 1H30 of consecutive sleep). I got a few nights at 6 hours when I took a combinaison of stilnox (hypnotic) + lexomil (benzodiazepine anxiolytic) but I had to stop taking them because they were making me so feeble that I was even having trouble walking, and speaking normally. And even with them I never ever felt again the feeling of a resting night or falling asleep.

But these last two months, my already jerky sleep is deteriorating, i’m not having these 30/60/max 90 minutes « sleep » anymore, as I’m having only having 5 to 15 minutes « sleeps » (my boyfriend stayed awake to make sure how much time I was sleeping).

I have no more energy (even tho I still don’t feel tired), and feel like my body won’t hold this rythmn much longer. In 8 months I only felt the need to sleep one night, never had a full night sleep and never felt the feeling of being rested.

I’ve seen many different specialists (even a sleep specialist who basically advised me to go run to feel better when at the time I saw him I could barely walk due to fatigue + the sleep medication), but all of them found nothing wrong with me as all the tests/medical exams showed nothing.

Also, after the first few weeks of total loss of desire to sleep, I became totally anxious. And to this day there is not one day or night where I didn’t feel anxious 100% of the time (except this one night where I had the desire to sleep). I’m constantly afraid of death at this point, and even of going to Hell (I even got a few nightmares about it even tho I never ever thought about this topic in my entire life).

I’m feeling like I’m in a never ending cicle where I don’t accept this situation and the mental and physical state I’m in (because I always slept like a baby, was always super positive and dynamic and now I am the shadow of myself, I can’t run because I have no energy, I recently graduated but I can’t practice my job because of focusing problems and lack of sleep..) but at the same I’ve lost any hope about how I could get out of it.

For those of you who had chronic insomnia for a long time, lost the desire to sleep, or slept up to very few hours per night, how did you manage to get out of your situation ? From recovering your desire to sleep, succeeding in sleeping for longer periods of managing to decrease your stress/anxiety ? I’m basically open to everything (natural stuff, therapies, original ideas, just what worked for you) but I’m afraid of sleep/anxiety medication because I don’t want to be dependent on them and because of the horrible state they already put me in.


Sorry for the long rant, but I’m 29 and I just want to live a normal life. Thanks a lot in advance for your help.

 

[abovedown]

Hello everyone,

Writing a post here to ask for some advice, for those who may have gotten through similar events. Sorry for my english as it’s not my first language.



8 months ago I lived a very strong emotionnal shock. The following night of this shock I lost the desire to sleep and had a sleepless night. I didn’t think too much of it, but the next nights I still didn’t feel the desire to sleep and had the impression to stay awake all night long (when I probably got a few hours here and there). I grew more and more tired (but without feeling the sensation of being tired, if it makes sense ?) with the weeks going as I never felt again the desire to sleep, and never felt the sensation of being rested.

For these last 8 months, I only felt the desire to sleep ONE night. So i’m basically living a nightmare.

I tried many complements : magnesium bisglycinate, iron, B vitamins, ashwagandha, zinc, vitamin C, vitamin D, niacin, selenium, valerian, chamomile, essential oils, CBD, even alcohol, accupressure which along with lavender oil on my wrists were the only two things that helped me get each one or two 5 hours nights, but the effect stopped after. Those complements didn’t change

For the first 6 months I probably slept between 1 and 3 hours each night at best (with no more than 1H30 of consecutive sleep). I got a few nights at 6 hours when I took a combinaison of stilnox (hypnotic) + lexomil (benzodiazepine anxiolytic) but I had to stop taking them because they were making me so feeble that I was even having trouble walking, and speaking normally. And even with them I never ever felt again the feeling of a resting night or falling asleep.

But these last two months, my already jerky sleep is deteriorating, i’m not having these 30/60/max 90 minutes « sleep » anymore, as I’m having only having 5 to 15 minutes « sleeps » (my boyfriend stayed awake to make sure how much time I was sleeping).

I have no more energy (even tho I still don’t feel tired), and feel like my body won’t hold this rythmn much longer. In 8 months I only felt the need to sleep one night, never had a full night sleep and never felt the feeling of being rested.

I’ve seen many different specialists (even a sleep specialist who basically advised me to go run to feel better when at the time I saw him I could barely walk due to fatigue + the sleep medication), but all of them found nothing wrong with me as all the tests/medical exams showed nothing.

Also, after the first few weeks of total loss of desire to sleep, I became totally anxious. And to this day there is not one day or night where I didn’t feel anxious 100% of the time (except this one night where I had the desire to sleep). I’m constantly afraid of death at this point, and even of going to Hell (I even got a few nightmares about it even tho I never ever thought about this topic in my entire life).

I’m feeling like I’m in a never ending cicle where I don’t accept this situation and the mental and physical state I’m in (because I always slept like a baby, was always super positive and dynamic and now I am the shadow of myself, I can’t run because I have no energy, I recently graduated but I can’t practice my job because of focusing problems and lack of sleep..) but at the same I’ve lost any hope about how I could get out of it.

For those of you who had chronic insomnia for a long time, lost the desire to sleep, or slept up to very few hours per night, how did you manage to get out of your situation ? From recovering your desire to sleep, succeeding in sleeping for longer periods of managing to decrease your stress/anxiety ? I’m basically open to everything (natural stuff, therapies, original ideas, just what worked for you) but I’m afraid of sleep/anxiety medication because I don’t want to be dependent on them and because of the horrible state they already put me in.


Sorry for the long rant, but I’m 29 and I just want to live a normal life. Thanks a lot in advance for your help.

I had bad fear dying or going to a bad afterlife when I was teenager. What then helped me when someone wise told me that I might be more afraid of life than actually dying. Life's big decisions were ahead of me (what to study etc) and I also first realized the finality of the time each of us gets to spend here. Have you talked to a counselor/priest regarding your fears? I think insomnia can get more chronical if untreated so it would be a good idea to go to a doctor to talk about it soon rather than later.

You mentioned that you experienced a shock after which your sleep issues started. Have you talked about this shock with anyone? Do you see nightmares of this incident and due to this it's hard to sleep? Do you think your recent graduation and new job might be contributing to the stress you are experiencing?

In my experience I tend to get insomnia due to work stress. Distressing events and news cause it too. I tend to use melatonin whenn nevessary and it helps me to sleep. I try to limit my screen time and walk daily outside after work so I tend to sleep better.

 

[Abstract]

I had a year plus of the type of sleep issues you discrib3d. It's good you have ruled out medical causes.

From the beginning, we're you very jumpy? For example, jumping if you heard a loud noise.

Lack of sleep makes the body and mind malfunction so it's no wonder you now feel as you do.

I didn't loose the desire to sleep but I I didn't want to sleep. I had nightmares and I also believed I was vulnerable when asleep. I didn't want to be vulnerable. I was too agitated to switch off and sleep. Sleeping tablets didn't work as they made me even more agitated. I didn't want to be less conscious and aware.

How easy would it be to talk about the details of the shock you had?

 

[Friday]

For those of you who had chronic insomnia for a long time, lost the desire to sleep, or slept up to very few hours per night, how did you manage to get out of your situation ? From recovering your desire to sleep, succeeding in sleeping for longer periods of managing to decrease your stress/anxiety ? I’m basically open to everything (natural stuff, therapies, original ideas, just what worked for you) but I’m afraid of sleep/anxiety medication because I don’t want to be dependent on them and because of the horrible state they already put me in.

I’ve done a looooooooot of different things over the years, to meet different needs/wants/situations.

Hands down the most useful piece/tactic, that runs through all of them? Curiosity. Lets me tilt my head and go “Huh. What can I do here?” As that lets me look for solutions, reeeeeally look for solutions; as well as improving on existing solutions, or ditching one set for another (that may or may not work as well!), tweaking this here & that there… improvising & adapting… instead of the easier to fall into patterns of insult/rage/grief/despair/fear/disappointment/etc. that are sooooooo common to people (you, me, almost everyone) not getting NEEDS (food, water, air, shelter, sleep) when they want, how they want.

It’s this wacky little intersection of needs & wants, when we’re still getting needs met, but not how we want them to be, and the emotional maelstrom/shit-show that (so often) follows; demanding things be how we want them, or despairing they ever will be, or apathetically giving up (instead of accept & adapt). Whether it’s gross food, bad sleep, miserable shelter, choking noxious air, etc. etc. etc. …the most natural reaction in the world? KA-BOOM.

So learning to kick the ka-boom to the curb, and look for solutions instead? PRICELESS. Also über time/energy/stress saving.

Some of the different solutions I’ve used over the years, to follow. As this already got long.