Attachment Issues

[Hashi]

You make therapy sound like a criminal activity :)

Reading some posts on the forum, I sometimes think it can be. ;)

Sorry, Pencil. Back to the topic...

 

[Pencil]

I did not know about the way the financial issue was handled and I am sorry.

Abstract, would you mind elaborating? I'd really appreciate it.

 

[Abstract]

Hi Pencil! :)

I shall certainly do when my brain allows me to!

 

[Pencil]

I shall certainly do

Thanks Abstract, I appreciate it!

 

[Pencil]

Abstract, in your post on another thread you wrote:

"Pencil, I think there is a huge difference between getting the help and support and care we need to grow from someone wonderful who is a caring therapist. And waiting for a therapist to save us.

The difference between the two is subtle but really important. Its one of the reasons why treatments like dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT) have such a success rate with those with BPD when other treatments end up with a continuation of crisis mode and without getting better and sometimes ending in the worst possible way.

That does not at in any way mean that a therapist shouldn't be in tune with us; "

___________

I kept the first section of every paragraph of your post to indicate that I am really quoting the full post, without risking getting another anxiety-provoking notification.

This of course means, that your post as a whole 'irks' :D me. The reason is that I think it is based on fundamentally wrong assumptions about me. It is therefore difficult / impossible to single out individual sections.

Even so:
You assume I have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Perhaps, perhaps not. But I don't want to go that assumption unchallenged as I don't want that to be accepted as fact. No professional has ever diagnosed me with BPD, and therefore I wouldn't want anyone on this forum, not only you, to do so.

You assume I insist on a therapist saving my life. What gives you that idea? What makes you think I live my life in crisis-mode? I would like to know, as I might be communicating something that creates this impression, in which case I would like to be more alert to the way I express myself.

I don't as a rule challenge people or their assumptions, but this post, although well-intentioned, I'm sure, was so far off the mark that I feel compelled to iron out the misunderstandings it may be based on.

Would you care to respond before I continue with a response to what may be a misunderstanding, and thereby just contribute to the confusion?

 

[Abstract]

Oh my goodness Pencil. I have only just read this and this is an impulsive answer and I will come back later. Honestly it was not aimed at you. Every thing I have said (even on here before) has only been a general discussion. I certainly was NOT saying you have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) at all! I merely bring it up as there is a lot more research about that specifically. I tend to look at the research for myself. I don't have BDP but I am sure there could have been the possibility of me being incorrectly diagnosed in the past because for me personally there are things I identify with. Like the unstable sense of self. You don't seem to have that from what I can tell.

Even when discussing attachment I have been speaking in general terms as I think it helps to see the big picture. That way it helps us take what we think is relevant or not.

I don't know a fraction of how things are for you internally or how that relates to your relationships with others and would never assume I had the right to guess. The same goes for a therapist saving ones life. I was merely speaking about a larger concept.

I will try to be more specific when I come back but just wanted to say this in the meantime as I was so shocked and did not want you to have that horrible (because it would read as very invasive and inappropriate) impression for even another hour. I am off to cook and try to organise myself as I slept for over 13 hours with horrible nightmares.

Very pleased you discussed it and I don't mind at all. Much better to discuss things as it avoids misunderstanding.

 

[anthony]

Abstract, in your post on another thread you wrote

So my question, is why are you raising it in this thread? Why not the other thread in which you got it?

 

[Abstract]

Why

Hi Anthony,

Because I suggested it so that it did not derail the other thread - something Pencil was concerned about not doing either. And since it relates to this topic it seemed an appropriate place. It wasn't Pencil or my thread.

 

[anthony]

Fair enough...

 

[Springer80]

OOO right, here's a late night and weary bash at a complex topic! :rolleyes: It's also a mooted theory from a personal point of view.

Since attachment theory looks at the developmental importance of a consistent and responsive environment in neurological and nervous system development, the absence of which causing hormonal and behavioral deficits......could it not be that erratic and negative replies leads to dysfunction of a proxemical nature on a physiological level eventually causing physical breakdown....i.e. Chronic Fatigue is essentially Attachment Theory played out to the point that the physiology gives in when the cognitive/physical is exhausted and before the emotional is restored??

Discuss;)

 

[Pencil]

it was not aimed at you

Abstract


Thanks for your response. As you know, I brought this up weeks after your post, which indicates that I was ambivalent about addressing things, not knowing whether I was misreading you or you were misreading me, and not wanting to create bad feelings, but not wanting to sit with uncomfortable feelings either. I'm glad to know it was a sermon directed at me, but a general observation. And I agree with everything you say, except one :D - and I will elaborate in a later post. It has to do with being saved. So, watch this space :)

Asking you to clarify was not easy for me. This is why I appreciate this forum - it is a microcosm, where social skills can be learned and practiced.

I've always appreciated your input, and hope you will continue giving feedback. I'm obviously no longer 'irked'. (I used that word as I find it funny, along with many other stuffy, archaic ones.)

Thanks, Abstract.

 

[Pencil]

Chronic Fatigue is essentially Attachment Theory played out to the point that the physiology gives in when the cognitive/physical is exhausted and before the emotional is restored

Hi Springer
I have no clue! We've talked about this before, and perhaps if you put it in ... erm ... plain language, others would be able to know what the hell you are talking about :D. I only know because you and I have spoken about this before, and our experiences are similar. But you are raising a new point, and that is that the physical 'thing' could be part of attachment issues, which is something that has never occurred to me before. Let me think about that one.