Attacked By A "friend"

[bitterfight_]

Hey guys, so this is a bit long so bear with me.

Feb 23rd, it was my birthday, and I asked this "friend" (C) if she wanted to come to dinner with me and my other friends, and she said she couldn't because she didn't have any money and didn't want to "just sit there and do nothing" because she didn't have money. Neither of my other friends wanted to stay home, so we both seemed to agree that it was okay if she didn't come and we'd be okay with it. Later on in the night, I took a few pictures of me and these friends and saved them, intent on adding them to instagram later because one of those friends asked me to. The next day, I added them and added it with tags like #somuchfun #goofy #weirdos #bestfriends #loveyouguys #birthdayfun and stuff like that. C messaged me and basically lost it on me.

Little background history with this "friend":

• She was supposed to go to prom with me 2 years ago (as a friend only) and ditched, lied about it, and called me a lot of names. I forgave her.
  
• She constantly gets offended if I hang with my friend A or CW, and calls us "bad friends" if we forget to include her (or god forbid don't want to include her). But, funnier yet, if she does this to us (she did it to me last week) we aren't allowed to share that frustration and get mad for not being included.
• She will constantly read, ignore, and no respond to messages, and last month she ditched me and lied about it to go hang out with a girl she constantly makes fun of behind her back, and whom she's told me she "hates"

She knows my issues with this kind of confrontation that she did in the next paragraph (I have PTSD from being bullied - she's aware of this). Anyways, the conversation went like this:

C: Sorry if I don't qualify as a best friend anymore
Me: What? What are you talking about?
C: Well apparently A and CW do
Me: Are you talking about the picture I added to insta? Dude that was only a few pics from yesterday. I didn't exclude only you - I excluded a lot of my other best friends too. It's just a picture.
*she reads it and doesn't say anything for 10 mins*
Me: I didn't do anything wrong so..
C: Well you invited me for supper and I said I couldn't cause I had no money and you kinda just left it at that. But oh well.
Me: I'm not going to apologize, again I didn't do anything wrong so I'm not gonna feel bad about having a good birthday. I invited you, you said no. But okay.
C: Okay bye
Me: Okay
*thinking she leaves it, she doesn't*
C: I'm tired of all the sh*t
Me: Of what sh*t, I didn't do anything??
C: Well you guys are "my friends" and none of you ever show interest
Me: Thanks... so all the days I hang with you and invite you to things mean nothing? Why is it always my fault?
C: I just love how I never get invited to anything.
Me: I had a good birthday and now I'm a bad friend for it? Thanks
C: I'm just saying
Me: Can you please stop
C: Thanks for the invite :):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)
Me: Thanks for treating me like this, and I did invite you.
C: More like thanks for not inviting me
Me: But whatever, please stop making me feel bad for having a good birthday. Please.
C: Ah well haha
*I ignore her, she continues*
C: It's not like this is anything new lol none of you ever invite me to anything clearly I'm not a friend to any of you

(Each time she says this, it's not true. She's always the person we invite FIRST because if we don't, she acts like this. Plus, she's supposed to be my best friend, or so she says I'm her only best friend). Anyways, I respond neutrally thinking it will defuse the situation..

Me: Okay
C: You're all just so rude
Me: Okay
C: Have a nice f*cking day
Me: I won't, thanks to you, but okay.
C: Hahahah that sucks :):)
Me: Leave me alone please.

Now, this girl is in one of my classes and it's the middle of the term so I can't drop the class. I've blocked her through text, but I have nowhere to sit in the class. My mom is constantly like "just stop being her friend" but that's easier said than done when most of your friends hang out with her, and/or she's in a class with you. Please... Give me some advice! Why do I keep choosing friends like this? :(

 

[Jules0408]

1. Happy belated birthday!

Honestly honey, I am still asking myself the same question about why I choose friends who end up doing more harm than good. I would have said try and have a sit down with her to explain how her behaviours affect you but, it appears she is too wrapped up in herself to do so. I had a friend who acted like this, or had similar moments and even though we had been friends for ten years, I made the decision to walk. I wrote her a long letter explaining how some of her behaviours bothered me, I got a response but it ended up being turned into an "All About Her" kind of thing. So I said goodbye because I needed to surround myself with positivity which is what you need to do!

Yes it may be a little difficult since she does still have a constant presence in your life and she still has mutual friends. As for school, I did my best to ignore and focus on my studies and if she begins to 'attack' you in the classroom you have every right to speak with a professor. With the mutual friends, this is when you just be honest with them and say "she may do this" or "she may say that" and brush aside any negative comments she may say against you.

The friend thing is always the tricky part. I'm sure you will find the best solution possible. Plus you have us to lean on!

 

[bitterfight_]

@Jules0408 thank you! :) it's sad because we invite her to everything, and she has this irrational belief that we all hate her and intentionally don't invite her (when most of the time we're just plain forgetful). it's saddening to me, because i've (as pointed out in my message) forgiven her for a lot of hurtful things she's done. true about the classroom thing, it's just hard because the classroom is a class of 150+ people, and with my social anxiety, it's frustrating because now i have nowhere to sit (she was the only person i knew, and the only person i could sit beside without fear of "what the hell is this random person doing sitting beside me" kinda thing). anyways, thank you, and you're soo right.

 

[Jules0408]

There are a few of those people who can never be satisfied regardless of how many times we bend over backwards to appease them. I have a friend who I met in school and she has social anxiety as well and honestly, she has done amazingly during our first year. Even if you move, even if you make a deal with yourself to just say hello - it can do wonders.

 

[Barconian]

I think you know the answer @bitterfight_ You don't need guilt trips in your life (that is bullying). I agree with Jules!

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Let her go. She has proven to be a bad friend. Listen to her actions. She isn't going to change.