I have had sexual trauma as well for multiple years in my past. I am not at the point where I can deal with it with my therapist or anyone for that matter. I have realized that I freeze during sex. I have no voice. Now that I have a little bit of the puzzle, it has helped me look at other areas of my life that I can focus on that I might be freezing. Maybe focus on what you are able to and heal that. Then the next thing. Maybe, little by little, it will all seem less daunting. That is how my brain works. I hope you are able to find what you need to heal. I wish you the best of luck. Sending positive thoughts.