Avoiding going "home" (to parents)

[SeekingAfrica]

@scout86 , @Movingforward10 Thank you both. That is not an option with me with therapy currently (though it's now when I'd benefit the most), so suggesting I check in on here is really sweet and comforting. Thank you. I will probably do that. All goes well, will travel in about a week or 10 days at most.
Meanwhile I should pull myself out of the depression part a bit before it gets worse.

 

[Friday]

How do I snap out of this? I'm procrastinating on things that never give me trouble because of this.
I feel like I must do something fast, make a change, cope better, plan more, like when there is crisis, except I think the trip is the crisis.

If you’re using avoidance as a coping mechanism to handle the stress? Then it would naturally follow you’d need more & better coping mechanisms.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

If you’re using avoidance as a coping mechanism to handle the stress? Then it would naturally follow you’d need more & better coping mechanisms.

I guess so. There are coping things I know and I have learned not to avoid certain things more and more each year... yet there are othersthings that still have a hold on me. A pretty bad grip actually.

Any suggestions for coping mechanisms?

 

[SeekingAfrica]

If anyone is in a timezone where they aren't going to be sleeping soon: trip is tomorrow and I'm still cleaning. Haven't packed (will be tight but can pack tomorrow).
Cleaning however not advisable to all be left for then (some 1h amount at best can).
I just need some support, I feel like there's no way to finish on time, but I have to be on the bus tomorrow.

 

[Movingforward10]

If you feel like you won't finish on time, do you need to clean everything or just maybe something that makes you feel better?

 

[SeekingAfrica]

If you feel like you won't finish on time, do you need to clean everything or just maybe something that makes you feel better?

My landlord maybe stopping by (inside) to pick up some mail. Long story. Point is in ideal world everything will be spotless inside and out.
I made my piece that this is not ideal moment but I still need to do some task fully (if not perfectly), and some things to be satisfied with a quick wipe with those wipes that are meant for cleaning and already have product on them.

Narrowed down tasks and with my overestimation I need 3 hours and 16 tasks.
Realistically I'm allowing myself an hour tomorrow before trip.
Also realistically, I will aim to finish 1 more hour tonight and at least cut the tasks in half.

There maybe 3 tasks that can be cut although I'd hope not.
I mean, life lately- I don't even know am I keeping this apartment. But in case I am I must show some effort. Realistically I can do an hour and go to bed on time- but depression wise I need few breaks within that hour whatever that means for my bed time.

 

[Movingforward10]

That sounds like you have a plan, you know how to help yourself with breaks.
it’s a stressful time with the trip, other worries, and all that is happening.

 

[Friday]

I made my piece that this is not ideal moment but I still need to do some task fully (if not perfectly), and some things to be satisfied with a quick wipe with those wipes that are meant for cleaning and already have product on them.

- What you cannot clean up, set at right angles to each other.
- Clear off the big flat surfaces (counters/tables/floors) even of stuff that “belongs” there.
- In each room place a basket to put all the “stuff” that needs to be put away. If you have time to put it all away? Great. If not? Each room has clear flat surfaces instead of clutter.

^^^They’re^^^ OCD fool-the-eye tricks that makes virtually any space LOOK clean, even when it’s not.

I’m ADHD-C. If I don’t keep my living space spotless at all times? Blink twice and it’s beating off the tsunami of mess with a stick.

I was engaged to a bloke with OCD, who was… MAGIC. He’d follow along behind me, as I left chaos in my wake… just flicking fingers here & there, no effort …and… clean/clear/I can THINK beautiful space magically appeared in his wake.

So I had him teach me how he did that.

84% of it? Are fool-the-eye tricks. Like setting things at right angles to each other. And clear open spaces, that let the eye “rest”. 10% deep cleaning. 6% pure unadulterated magic.

I was doing it the other way ‘round, and my deep cleaning? Never stayed clean. Or rather, it WAS clean-clean-clean under the chaos-clutter-tsunami.

15 minute daily “blitz”? (Everything up off the floor, off the counters, in the basket, and right angles for the rest). Ahhhhh. It LOOKS clean. Bless.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

That sounds like you have a plan,

I do, it's just that I'm really sleepy- so pushing through today's part of the plan (8 tasks) is going slow. I've done 2.

Clear off the big flat surfaces (counters/tables/floors) even of stuff that “belongs” there.
- In each room place a basket to put all the “stuff” that needs to be put away. If you have time to put it all away? Great. If not? Each room has clear flat surfaces instead of clutter.

That part is already done and it did help things look more put together thankfully. Did it first, had I had your ideas maybe I would have save myself some time, but noted for next time.

More worried about few obvious things that get dirty regularly- like the stovetop, the bathtub( laundry drawins there so it becomes a mess fast, sink, and then some surfaces that due to my depression neglect (let's be honest) have been left way too dustry and with some random coffee stains and such... some sweeping (where the vacuum can't reach- though the sweeping is the tasks I may leave as I have vacuumed and may have to accept that a little mess here and there doesn't make for overall mess.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

5.5 tasks done, and I'm leaving the biggest for tomorrow because I can't see well in that light.
Starting to get too tired to pay attention, may need to do a little more and call it a night and pray tomorrow goes smoother than today,

 

[SeekingAfrica]

Yeah, I can't. I'll try to wake an hour earlier, everything is starting to blur and distort, I'm too sleepy so it's taking forever. I'm hoping with few hours of sleep it will run way better.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

Safely arrived at destination( with some panic attacks and chatting with a friend on the way). Now I'm going to crash before tomorrows insanity begins. Thank you all who are still reading this. Helps.