Awful therapy session

[hannah55]

Hi,
Last week I disclosed CSA to my therapist, we discussed confidentiality (I'm 18) my T made me feel selfish for not disclosing to the police/ not telling someone sooner / not wanting to go the authorities as it means more children will / have still be being hurt by this man. At today's therapy session she apologised and said she handled my disclosure awfully ( she is a specialist trama therapist) and that if I was feeling angry at her / felt she had broken my she would completely understand (in fact she encouraged me to feel angry at her) but later on she asked me if X had also abused me obviously my reactions told her everything and I said I was done and walked out of the session she made no attempt to speak to me / ask me if I was ok she just let me leave. Now I just feel guilty for just walking out (I'm the type of person that turns up each week exactly on time, down to the minute) she looked shocked that I walked out I am wondering if I am in the wrong and should apologise / should make contact with her?
Thanks x

 

[Keen]

Hi,
Last week I disclosed CSA to my therapist, we discussed confidentiality (I'm 18) my T made me feel selfish for no...

This is a tough situation. Therapists are just people, like you and me, and can make mistakes/have bad days. I think what it comes down to is, do you feel like you can trust her, that you can talk freely with her, and that she can really help you? Not every therapist is right for you, you are not under any obligation to keep seeing anyone, and its okay to try several therapists out until you find the right "fit." In the end, you've got to listen to your heart and mind and decide what the best course of action is for you so that you can heal, progress, and become your best self.

 

[Rumors]

I don't know that an apology is necessary but I think you need to go back. It is obvious something she said was triggering and made you leave so I think I would explore some of that. Hang in there...it is an incredibly hard topic. You need to be kind to yourself.

 

[Missycat]

I would agree, an apology isnt neccessary but i would go back and talk to her and then decide if she is the right therapist for you.
I am surprised by her response to your disclosure though especially as you say she is trauma trained.
I have been in session and started to almost freak out as i share something really personal and painful and ive got up and said i have wanted to leave , my t will say that i can and adds that she would like it that i stay and talk to her or both just sit quiet - she reminds me its a safe place. I usually end up pacing the room but i stay.
Dont feel mad or frustrated with yourself .. go back for your next session and talk about it.

 

[Scarlet13]

My opinion is that maybe she is not the right therapist for you. It sounds as if she were blaming you. Therapists are human, but some things are deal breakers.

 

[anonymous]

That may have come out of her own stuff. If she owned up to it and apologized, I would say give her another chance. No t is going to be perfect.

 

[Beans]

Well ultimately it's up to you what feels best. It's deeply personal.

For me, the blaming for what is the most deeply personal part of my life and trauma the first time i opened up about it would be a deal breaker. I have such issues with trust I doubt i'd feel safe again.

 

[lostnconfused]

Hi,
Last week I disclosed CSA to my therapist...my T made me feel selfish for not disclosing to the police/ not telling someone sooner / not wanting to go the authorities as it means more children will / have still be being hurt by this man. At today's therapy session she apologised and said she handled my disclosure awfully ( she is a specialist trama therapist)...

I'm surprised she said that to you, especially since she's supposed to be a "specialist trauma therapist;" I've read parts of textbooks for therapists that specifically state that many children who are abused are too afraid to tell anyone about it, especially if their abuser(s) are related to them. Her response to what you said sounds to me as though she isn't caught up, professionally, and isn't aware of things that she should be, in order to help clients. It gives a feeling of, "What else might she complain about (when your feelings as a child were/are valid) if you disclose more to her?"

 

[EveHarrington]

There are "bad days" and then there are shitty therapists.

IMHO your therapist falls into the latter category.

Blaming you if others get hurt? W...T...F?!?!?!?!

Even non-trauma General therapists know not to blame a victim for others getting abused by the same perp!

 

[Changing4Best]

I have terminated a therapist for far less!