Back Out In The World....

[BloomInWinter]

I am back out in the world again. Not avoiding places just due to bad memories, but picking what I feel up to.

I am now showing myself to people again, though am so reactive on some things, I'm having some people back away. Though those people never were ones I'd consider 'stand-up got-your-back' types anyway. Others are accepting this real me, shaky and honest.

I'm taking our kids places, having friends over (not a lot...but still) and am ok with not being liked by everyone.

The years of the workplace bullying are finally settling out, and I am not going to put up with it anymore.

It's hard to be this new person...feels like I'm a child inside out in the world for the first time.

Maybe I am.

I still hate Walmart....but I can go.

I still have the claustrophobia, agoraphobia....but I know what those are now, and I have some tools to deal with them.

I'm looking forward to spending my little energy totally on me and my family....a few friends...a few issues I care about.

But the idea of being in the world doesn't prevent me from being in the world.

Am hopeful someday, it won't feel so hard.

 

[The Albatross]

Go Bloom!!! Yeah, it might be uncomfortable... for a while. Lord I was. But those 3 P's (practice, patience, persistance) work. Glad you've got some tools to manage with... just remember use them or they'll get rusty.

So glad to read about your success today!:tup:

 

[James B.]

Sounds really good, Bloom. Your post made my day.

 

[Srain]

Congrats BloominWinter!!!

You have certainly done the work and shown me that it's all possible, thank you :)

Peace and serenity to you,

Rain

<Please keep artistic posting for the Chit Chat section. Thanks Amethist>

 

[intothelight]

Congratulations!

 

[KP the nut]

(((Bloom))), that is wonderful.

T helped me understand that acceptance is a key to healing. I accept that I am not perfect, that I shake and become overwhelmed by certain situations and I am ok with that, like you I am using the tools and techniques taught by both him and from what I have learned here.

Good on you for living the life you have now. Keep using those techniques, for me it is becoming easier. I have a huge grin on my face.

Linking arms

 

[BloomInWinter]

(((((PTSD Tribe))))))

Thank you all so much. I learn so much from your wisdom. Amazing how much wisdom is contained within some of the most raw, painful experiences posted here.

I'm doing life so differently than ever before. I can finally gain a glimpse of my PTSD as a gift of wings out of the completely narrow, impoverished life I had led.

The suffering finally made me willing to stop running and face this stuff down.

Now, to face it down. Hubby promised me he's ok with me being a wreck at night whenever I need to be after pushing myself.

My boss is responding, too...he is starting to say no to promising things that damage us to deliver.

My workload has been reduced to a more managable level.

Those people skills, practiced over and over, are helping me learn to protect myself. Thogh...still scares me to do so.

But I can feel afraid and still do it anyway.

KP, laughing at the shake! That's just who I am, now. I still look competent most of the time. ;)

The rest of the time, I just look like a regular overwhelmed person.

Glad to retire the red cape and say, I can't do it.

...and be glad I value and recognize the self in me now enough to even be glad.

May we all find rest.
May we all find comfort.
May we all have joy.
May we all claim our Peace.

 

[Deleted member 6617]

((((Bloom)))) You made me smile!

 

[purple butterfly]

Congratulations, that is awesome news!

 

[Tessa]

I am so pleased for you Bloom. I can appreciate how hard it is to do what you are achieving. We are all here cheering you on.
Warm hugs.

 

[sea]

Good to hear it, Bloom. :tup:

 

[Kim]

I'm so happy for you!!! Congrats!!