Back to back panic attacks due to needing a car & no way to pay for it

[lostforgottensoul]

1k is low for rent every state I have lived in. I remember back in the '90s in CA when the cheapest fl...

Right but at least in many areas, where there is higher cost of living there is also higher pay. That was true in KS, MO, OK (at the time I lived in KS. Not sure now), TN, NB, and a few other states. Like, take NY, CT and most of New Enland. Their cost of living is insane but their pay is 5 times what it is here. If not more. My step mon tried for disablity for 5 yrs here and was denied the entire time until they told her she had to start over and the insurence was so bad she had to go without. She moved to CT and instantly was given disability and also had a thousand times better heathcare she said. She said its like night and day and that FL is horrible for the disabled. But, my point is it's more equal in most other states that I've seen. Obviously that won't be true in every state but Florida is the most unequal state ive seen when it comes to income and cost of living. And certianly in most states you are considered low income when you cannot keep your head above water but am aleady living in one of the lowest rentals in the area. That's what I consider as low income. I mean, maybe my definition is off but I consider that low income.

ETA: To add, I will say I've been back in Florida for 9 yrs. I haven't been out of the state since my accident in '09 so my views are based on '09 and earlier. But I know its insane to try to get disability in Florida today. You need someone to live with for at least a year but likely more because the max amount they allow you to make you wouldn't be able to stay afloat on that and they will deny you at least once but normally over and over multiple times. But even if they dont thats 6 months. How would one live completely alone? I know about disability Florida VS CT now today based on my step mom's experience. But the rest of the views is from my experience '09 and earlier. I will say that in KS I made $15 an hour and my rent was $550 for a 1000 sq foot 2 bedroom. Huge difference and way more even.

 

[Fadeaway]

Well, the states I mentioned did not have higher pay. Yes, California had a higher minimum wage, you were luck to get 32 hours a week. No one hired full time for minimum wage.

In Utah my husband was working at a call center for $10-$11 an hour. It was more take home than he was making as a teacher because of everything they took from his paycheck such as retirement and insurance. The pay has not kept up with increasing rent, not by a long shot.

So what i am trying to say is that my experience with all of those states are exactly what you are describing in Florida. I have been in your shoes and suffered from the fall out you are afraid of. I know exactly what you are saying and I know there isn't help or I would have found it. There isn't much you can do differently. Your situation has been my realty minus the physical disability.
I know plenty of others who are in your shoes as well.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

There isn't much you can do differently.

I know, its f*cked up! And to move it cost money that I don't have. People are looking at me like I'm refusing to help myself but there isn't an answer without at least some savings of some sort. I'm not refusing to help myself. There isn't a way to. I'd pick up and move out of state today if I could but I need first a job waiting for me and although I did half way get a job while out of state once, they still wanted an in person interview (Im not even sure a Skype interview would work today) and I had a place i moved to while looking for an apartment and finishing up the in person interview and finializing the job. So i didnt really get the job out of state. I only found it, applied for it, and did all the not in person things but to actually get the job they required an in person interview when i got in state. So would have to some how get a job while out of state. Then would need an apartment waiting for me. Or at least a place to go while finding an apartment. With emailing the lease and e sign thats not hard but also need money as both getting an apartment and moving out of state whether driving or flying cost money. Then either a UHaul with the car hitch that takes the front wheels off the ground to not allow the odometer to run (theres a name for that but cant remember) which still cost money, or sell my car, fly out, and buy a new car, which cost more money plus you're out of a car and need to rent a car as we'd be stuck at the airport if not which is even more money. My car would not make it out of state.

I mean, if anyone wants to give me a few grand to move and a few more grand to pay to leave this lease early, and a few more grand to buy a car I'd be estatic to move out of state. You cannot do that (or move in general) without money. I have no money. Therefore thats not an option.

I lack the certification for a better job. At $14.25 an hour this is a better job. I have been looking but the only one that would allow me to take a test to test my knowledge in the place of certs is a contracting job. Meaning after 3 months they may not keep me. If they do its 3 months at a time. And they dont give health insurence since its a contracting job. Filling my pain pump alone is $300 then to scan it (which is a must each time he fills it) is $150. About every 3 weeks. My therapist is $125 a week. And thats just 2 doctors. I can buy insurence but thats a few hundred a month and so far no insurence you can buy on your own covers the pump.

Certs also take money. I am studying for the CCNA but it's a few hundred to take. I don't even have that.

So I'm trying to help myself but its closed door after closed door. Even to move in this area takes quite a few hundred and a huge amount of physical effort that I don't have. I'd push myself physically if I could find a place cheaper and could find the money for first, last, and security and then find the few grand it takes to break this lease I'd move in a heartbeat. But I don't have any money to move. And then the assistance that pays for you to move I make too much money for. There is a homeless prevention charity but you have to have an eviction or close to one and then you have to make less then I make. Basiclly not be able to pay your rent at all and that's not the case here. There isnt an answer other then what im doing now. Buckle up on the budget. But, even doing that isnt giving me any sort of savings. Like yesterday when I had to renew my car tag, I didnt have the money for it and ive already tightened up my budget the best and most possible. Im accounting for every dime spent and budgeting every single thing I spend. (ETA: I have no idea what I'm going to do in the beginning of the year when I have to pay $750 of my $1,500 deductible).

I mean, where is there an answer? I cant see one. But Im surely not refusing to help myself.

ETA: It'll be a while as I have to tackle the moutian I call my closet and just my room in general but I will be keeping a big box (or boxes) of stuff I want to get rid of. I never thought of a garage sale as you cant have one in the complex but maybe my dad will loan out his lawn for a (or maybe a few) garage sales? I know the best day is Sat but I work weekends but maybe I can take a paid day off from work two weekends and get it done? Not sure. Will have to talk to him and ask him if he'll be willing to do that. I don't want to just donate the stuff. I want to sell it. But, will need to tackle those areas and that will take a while but trying to come up with a plan for after I tackle these areas to make some money from the stuff. I have a load of PC parts. Most wont know what half of it is but I bet cords and even monitors (and keyboard/mouse combos) will sell. We'll see. Just what i thought of while in the shower. The shower is apparently my thinking spot/time lol

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I finally got registered as a worker on MTurk. Don't think I can do these between calls at work as I thought unless we have a lot of time between calls as it seems to have a time limit but if I can figure out the controls on some of these I might. Making a tight red box around cars was way harder then it should be and I kept having to delete and redo and geeze! But, it has an hour limit but lots of different areas so just gonna play around on it today and see if I cant get to know the site a bit. I can sit there on lunch and get my HIT count up so I can start doing ones that are more money and start racking money up. Its not big money but its something and the more HITs you have the bigger oppurtunities you get. Most that use it a few hours a day get a few hundred a month. Im hoping it can help some.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Bad news. An offical page in our HR intranet site about the $15 an hour minimual wage. It's happening throughtout A YEAR! Meaning by 2020! f*ck! I feel backed into a f*cking corner and I'm about to f*cking snap! I guess I'm going to have to talk to HR. I don't know what else to do. My sup says my first promotion can only happen w/ 6 months of 3.5 score cards which means earliest is 6 months and if just one is 3.25 im f*cked. I have no idea what HR can do but my head is spinning and I can't even hear a f*cking word being spoken in this training. She gave us a 15 min break and im curled up in the bathroom.

 

[joeylittle]

Help yourself in the immediate by managing your emotional responses. Curling up in the bathroom isn’t going to
help the situation. Writing out all the ways your situation is completely hopeless isn’t going to help, either.

Ask your dad for more financial help, til you can start to accumulate a positive monthly balance again. Project it out, for the next 12 months. You can ask someone to review your budget for you and see what questions they ask about where you could cut costs.

Consider again, advertising for a roommate. It’s the quickest way to cut monthly expenses.

Decide what you are willing to tolerate, and then lean into it.

I know it’s extremely hard and frightening - but explaining repeatedly why there’s nothing you can do is only going to strengthen that belief. If you can stop putting yourself into that thought spiral, it will help ease the anxiety.

If you want to get rid of extra stuff quickly, try listing it on Craigslist - or, contact your local Goodwill or Salvation Army and see if they will pick up donations. Sometimes clearing out the clutter really helps.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Ask your dad for more financial help, til you can start to accumulate a positive monthly balance again.

Already asked and he will not help. At all.

Consider again, advertising for a roommate. It’s the quickest way to cut monthly expenses

Considered and I still need to clean this house before anybody with half a brain will rent the room. And I'm already doing that.

Although that will cause my rent to go up twice in a year and even further out of reach of ever being able to fund living by myself and sticking me with a roommate for life basically. Even after the $15 raise I doubt my promotion raise (if I get promoted) and yearly raise will allow me to income qualify alone with, at that point, a 3rd increase of rent. Each time the lease is changed (someone going on or coming off) the rent goes up and you have to income qualify. Not a set amount of increase as last increase was over $150 a month. So, it will likely be around $1,200 - $1,300. Which is about normal here now even for a 1 bedroom. And to income qualify you have to make 3 times the amount of rent.

My point is, though I am willing to get a roommate, my utilmate goal is to be self sufficant and to be able to live alone. That seems to counter that goal as its raising the rent one more time then if I didnt get a roommate and that's making that gap between price of rent and income further apart. And yes, I can move but other places are more expensive or don't, at least, have a washer/dryer hookup. I can walk (though I struggle to most of the time) but I cannot physically take my laundry to a laundry mat or to the apartment one. Did that when my washer and dryer were broken and no way I can do that again. I was in less pain and had more mobility ability at the time. Tried to recently and physically could not. So, I will need to go from roommate to roommate and what if one roommate wants to leave but I can't find a replacement roommate?

I'm not shooting down the idea. I have to make plans for each outcome. I'm not trying to blow it up out of porprotion or exaggerate or make it bigger then it is. Im not being difficult. If I take the roommate road that is a likely outcome and I need to be prepared for that.

But before all of that I need to get this house cleaned and I'm trying. I'm still doing 30 mins a day after work but it doesn't get much done. I already asked my dad to help. That was a bust. He's not willing to come back. The woman that he was gonna pay to clean he f*cked that up by saying "I didn't want to pay $40 to the bitch anyway" before he hit "end" on the phone and she sent my step mom a message on facebook saying she heard that so thats now f*cked up. I have no money to hire anyone else to help and I have no one else to help me. My dad isn't willing to do near as much as you think! So now I am stuck trying to get this moutian of junk sorted, and the house cleaned.

If you want to get rid of extra stuff quickly, try listing it on Craigslist - or, contact your local Goodwill or Salvation Army and see if they will pick up donations. Sometimes clearing out the clutter really helps.

I want to sell my stuff. Even at 10 cents each most of this stuff can be sold. But, I need a space to do a garage sale. I already talked about that. I sent my dad a text about using his lawn but he confiently ignored that message. If not, my only other thought was to put an ad on Craig's List (though Craig's List terrifies me due to the physical meeting of you and them - but am still willing to do it) to offer a percentage of my profit of the garage sale to basically "rent" their lawn at their house. I don't know of any other place I can have a garage sale but I know I cannot have it here in the apartment complex. That's specificlly stated in my lease.

Curling up in the bathroom isn’t going to
help the situation.

No but it was all I could do at the moment. I'm venting on here and being real with everyone about where I'm at because I am on that suicidal ledge about to fall off. It may not be helpful but it sure is better venting on here (which then allowed me to get myself together in the bathroom and go back to the training) then to go home and attempt suicide. Which was my plan in that moment. It may not be helpful but sometimes all I can do is curl up in a bathroom.

ETA: Oh, I was trying to type this in here last night and fell asleep before I could. I've been researching meal planning and really, it's very hard for me to cook. Even with the stool that's in the kitchen. But, I can pre-prepare freezer meals to then plop in a crock pot to cook for me I can freeze it and that one meal can last a week and really save me money on my grocery budget. If I can save $100 a month on groceries that will be $100 a month in savings. So, asked my dad if I could borrow his crock pot. He said he had 2. One normal sized one (which I see as ab extra big one) and a smaller one. He said he would give me, to keep forever, the smaller one. So, I'll just make and freeze smaller meals. Won't have it until the 23rd when he comes back over to help me get my car up to the mechanic to fix the light and the passenger side mirror that I already paid for but am struggling to get my car back down there.

Anyway, just wanted to advise what I'm doing to help myself here.

 

[Fadeaway]

Cooking from scratch is really a great way to save money. Physically, could you set aside one day a month for prep, and could you spare the money for glass containers? I have some pretty quick cheap and easy dishes that after prep, you just freeze and then pop them in the oven when you want it.

What about looking for a six week certification program in a career that you can do physically? There is often programs that pay for it for you. Working around your work schedule might be tough but there are online programs.

Check out Smart Majority, they have all kinds of online programs and often you can find coupons for $19 instead of the full price on Groupon.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Cooking from scratch

Is really hard to do physically. My ex was a cook as well as an electrician. He has worked in many restraunts. He used to cook everything from scratch and it's very hard physically. I have a stool I sit on in the kitchen when cooking but my limit of being able to sit on that stool is about 30 mins before my back and legs are in so much pain that I can't take it anymore and tried proping them and sitting in every possible fashion. I have no choice but to go and sit on the couch for a while so I have to either have prep that takes no longer then 30 to maybe 45 mins max or I have to prep, take maybe an hour break, and prep again, an hour break and so forth. Between my therapist, my pain dr (a day every 3 weeks), laundry, cleaning the house, and yep, training a service dog (I still need to keep that up though the training is a lot less intense and theres a lot less training involved now) theres not a whole lot of time or spoons left to do much more. I know everyone is thinking I'm making excuses but I'm not. I struggle already to do these things listed. Some of the most basic things I struggle doing. That's how my house got this way to begin with.

And I am also doing MTurk and trying to dedicate at least an hour a day. Its something. Its money, even if its not much.

Anyway, that's why I was looking at a crock pot. The prep is a lot less and the cooking is effortless and much easier. But I will take receipes if you have them. Maybe how you prep them and what you buy for the meals. Im emailing myself meal plans for a crock pot, pre work for freezer crock pot meals, and the shopping list for them. Anything addtl would be helpful. Thank you!

 

[barefoot]

Sorry you are in a predicament at the moment. It sounds stressful.

I don’t have any suggestions for the overall situation but just wanted to say that there are many, many lovely, low cost recipes that don’t involve much prep at all. You could find loads that come in at much less than your limit of 30-45 mins.

A crock pot would just be another expense if you don’t already have one. Maybe worth starting a thread here asking people for suggestions of low cost, minimal prep recipes that won’t require you to make additional outlay (eg buying a crock pot or other equipment) Recipe threads here seem to get quite a few responses.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

A crock pot would just be another expense if you don’t already have one. Maybe worth starting a thread here asking people for suggestions of low cost, minimal prep recipes that won’t require you to make additional outlay (eg buying a crock pot or other equipment) Recipe threads here seem to get quite a few responses.

My dad is giving me a small one so hopefully that'll help but yeah, I'm totally not buying one. Hell, im boiling water via the microwave and then pouring that into coffee grounds in a coffee filter in my coffee pot to avoid buying another coffee maker that was fried in a recent power surge. A pain in the ass but it's coffee without the $10 or $20 for a coffee maker. My service dog and I will be going to Salvation Army to see if they have a low cost coffee maker and crock pot but certianly I won't spend much more then a few bucks each.

But yeah, starting a thread for recepies with little prep is a great idea. I'm trying to find meal plans that include shopping lists. I'm having trouble translating the meal plans into inexpensive shopping lists but I won't be putting this into action for at least another month when I go to buy the bulk of my food so have some time to figure it out. Thanks for the idea!

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

Do you have any paid sick leave? If you can take a day off to regroup and still get paid, it sounds like now might be a time to do that. Even just one extra day can help with planning.