Backing Out

[Casey_03]

I am supposed to have an audition today for a job many people dream of but think I have to back out, and now i'm beating myself up for it. It's for a job as an on-camera news correspondent. I can barely stand having my photograph taken, let alone appearing and speaking on camera. I have been having panic attacks all morning and feel sick just thinking about this. it's just not me. I'm a writer, not a news personality. But everyone keeps telling me this is the opportunity of a lifetime and I'd be stupid for backing out. Really, though, if the idea of this causes me so much dread, how on earth would I do it for a living?

 

[joeylittle]

if the idea of this causes me so much dread, how on earth would I do it for a living?

Sometimes, you don't know until you try. Just because you get the job doesn't mean you have to take it - or keep it. You don't need to go to the interview just because other people think it's a dream job, but if there's a part of you that is intrigued, let that part be the louder part, and sort out the rest later.

 

[digger]

The thing about dream jobs is that they're generally pretty personal to the person dreaming of them. Just because it would be someone else's dream job doesn't mean it has to be yours - that logic really doesn't work at all. My brother's dream job is to be a minister (religious), I'm an atheist, should I follow his dream and go into the ministry too? Or should I go for something that sparks my own fire?

There really is no shame in saying, actually I've thought about this and it's really not the direction I want to go in, I got swept up in other people's enthusiasm for it, but on reflection it's not for me and I have other dreams I want to follow and hope that the opportunity gets taken up, or given to, someone who's dream it is. :)

 

[GWhizz]

I guess you should consider why you applied too. And if it was because you felt it would be a dream job for you, is it fear holding you back or something else? Whatever you choose is okay. Try not to overthink it before it happens (easier said than done I know).

Why not take literal baby steps? Say you get ready for the interview/audition, dressed up and prepared with the material you need to do a good performance. Then you assess how you feel. Then see if you can go to the place of audition. If you make it this far, see can you go check in and take a seat in the waiting area (give yourself good time). Then see can you wait there to be called. If you can and they call you, when your name is called decide in that moment whether you want to go in. You can always pretend that's not your name when they call it if others are waiting too. If you do go in, and you do well enough to get the job, then you can consider based on this experience whether it's what you want to do or not. Just try and get through one step at a time without thinking too far ahead is my suggestion. But maybe that's me compartmentalizing everything lol!

Best of luck whatever you choose for today.

 

[Casey_03]

That's the thing, I didn't even apply for it. They sought me out, which is part of the reason I have felt obliged to follow through with the audition. They've been pretty persistent about it for the past two months. I like the baby steps idea - think i will try that. i know I will be disappointed in myself if i back out ... but gaahhhh this anxiety. Right, baby steps, baby steps ... and deep breaths.

 

[Friday]

I think it's an interesting opportunity.... And it may well be a once in a lifetime opportunity (or you may get approached every 2-3 years for the next decade, never can tell what other people are going to do)...

... But whether it's a "dream" opportunity or not? Depends on you. Everyone else in the world might want to be a ballerina, or President, or on air personality. Fine. Let them chase those dreams. Chase your own. Living other people's wants and dreams? That's stupid.

<grin> To be clear, I'm not saying don't go. I'm saying follow your heart. Maybe it's something you might like to do. Maybe it's something you would never want to do but the contacts alone would be useful to you. Maybe it would help you grow, or drive you over the brink. Doesn't really matter. What matters is that no one has to live your life, but you. Whether it's a job "everyone" wants (but you), or a job no one wants (but you), it's your life.

 

[NarcSis]

In the end, it's just an audition, you haven't been chosen. Think of it as a one act play, you go in, you do the part, you scurry home and congratulate yourself for doing it. Just doing it would be worth celebrating and you can always turn the position down if it's not for you. In the end, your life is about you and what you're comfortable with.

 

[ihateusernames]

I think you should go to the audition and see how it goes. But like others have said- even if you're offered the job, you don't have to take it. I had a somewhat similar experience recently. I had an interview Wednesday for a job 2 hours away that I was not thrilled about. I didn't want to go, but I was talked into doing it. And now I'm glad I did. I won't know anything for a couple of weeks and I don't know whether I'd take the job if offered, it might not be worth making a move for. But it was an eye-opening experience as I realized that it falls right along the lines of what I want to do, and will give me exactly the experience I need to get where I want to be ultimately. Where I only applied because it was open, having little real interest in it, now I know to keep my eyes open for similar opportunities.

You may find through your audition that reporting live is right up your alley. Or you might not. You won't know until you try it. Good luck in whatever you do decide!

 

[Sandstone]

I suppose one question is how well it fits with your overall principles and aims. Do I recall you saying before that you want to bring the truth behind events to the world? Does print or on-camera reporting allow you to get closer to what you want to do?

 

[The Albatross]

Interesting that you said, "for a job many people dream of"... but that it isn't a job that YOU dream of. So if you want to back out, do so.

 

[Casey_03]

Thank you to everyone who responded to this, i did end up going through with the audition, despite it being my biggest fear in life to get behind a camera. feel much better for not backing out.