I'm having a hard time with sleep at the mo...well, for a while now I guess. I wrote on here a while ago about how'd I'd wake suddenly in the night to my heart racing, that kind of settled but has started again. I've been having these bad dreams too. Last nights was where I was being chased by somebody with a gun. Others have been someone running towards me but me not being able to move and another where I was chased again but that one finished with me being r*ped.
I couldn't say who it was in these dreams because there either wasn't a face or I just don't remember. It's messing me up!
Another issue that's worth bringing up is ny little ones dad. I've wrote about him before on here and how he has r*ped me, under the influence/how I try to stay at my friends when I know he's drinking etc well, he went out last night, came back at 3.20am. He didn't do anything, he asked for a kiss and that was it because I was pretending to be asleep....I hate it though because this thing of pretending to be asleep, can sometimes bring other things up....like another time, I was "asleep", he put his arm around my waist and I swear I just felt like a kid again!
I have a session on Tuesday and I think I should be bringing all of this up but my mind is still so set on her thinking "oh here we go, another thing she wants to add on to everything else" I'm still so set on people just not believing pr doubting what I say and I don't really know what to do with that. It isn't the therapist....100% it's not her but the therapist before her made a comment that made me feel like she didn't believe me, so maybe that's some of the reason.
I'm so tempted to copy/paste and email my therapist right now (she's said I can email when I want to get things out because she knows the longer I leave it, the less likely I am to share it)
I couldn't say who it was in these dreams because there either wasn't a face or I just don't remember. It's messing me up!
Another issue that's worth bringing up is ny little ones dad. I've wrote about him before on here and how he has r*ped me, under the influence/how I try to stay at my friends when I know he's drinking etc well, he went out last night, came back at 3.20am. He didn't do anything, he asked for a kiss and that was it because I was pretending to be asleep....I hate it though because this thing of pretending to be asleep, can sometimes bring other things up....like another time, I was "asleep", he put his arm around my waist and I swear I just felt like a kid again!
I have a session on Tuesday and I think I should be bringing all of this up but my mind is still so set on her thinking "oh here we go, another thing she wants to add on to everything else" I'm still so set on people just not believing pr doubting what I say and I don't really know what to do with that. It isn't the therapist....100% it's not her but the therapist before her made a comment that made me feel like she didn't believe me, so maybe that's some of the reason.
I'm so tempted to copy/paste and email my therapist right now (she's said I can email when I want to get things out because she knows the longer I leave it, the less likely I am to share it)
