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Childhood Bits...mainly about brothers

LucyLou

Learning
So this is what has come up recently but I don't know how much of this I can bring up with therapist, for a few reasons.
My brothers were older than me but one was only 1 year older and the other was 6 years older....Kinda feel like it might not be taken as seriously, because of ages and possible "kids being kids" mentality-not that i wanted any of it, at all! But will therapist think otherwise
I don't know the ages that things started and stopped but I remember enough to know it happened. It's came up recently because I still, rarely, see them and I expected them to be at my mums for Christmas Dinner today but they weren't...they've decided to go tomorrow instead but still, the thought of seeing them was difficult because it brings all these things up and the last time I saw them, it ended in a 4am meltdown, by myself and it was scary and I don't know if I can tell therapist about this because she might want to know more about them, want me to name them or even make another referral, on safeguarding grounds....is this likely? Would they still be considered a risk, even though we were all pretty much kids at the time and they're grown now. My little ones are never around either of them. Another thing is the brother that is only a year older than me, has been sending messages to my best friend about "giving her a good time"....he's in a relationship already, so not sure what he's even doing.....my best friend knows about CSA but obviously doesn't know that he was one of them. And another thing! (Sorry!) My little ones dad is taking our little ones to see his mum on Thursday night, I wasn't going to go.. partly because I didn't want to....I'd of happily stayed home, alone and partly because I'm working. Well, he completely put me on the spot in front of his mum and step dad this afternoon and I really felt like I couldn't say no....so I'm not too happy about that!
 
Is there mandatory reporting where you are, even ok historical CSA? If not, I can't imagine a therapist reporting? If there is mandatory reporting, then they would have to?

I'm not surprised you were worried about seeing them. There is a lot to deal with.

With your brother texting your friend. He is an adult. As is she. She can block him. I wonder why she has his number and also why she is telling you this? Perhaps you can say to her you don't want to hear it if she tells you again?

With going to your in laws. If you don't want to go: that is ok. You can say. Perhaps you can say something like you are not feeling well. No more info required. But also, would going be a helpful distraction to all these thoughts?

It sounds a very stressful time. What usually helps you in stressful times?
 
She said she is going to block him. They met at a family party in March. I'm going to have to go, don't think there is a way out of it now...as my Little ones think I'm going now too 🙄 I don't know what usually helps....probably just being by myself with my music up loud but I can't do that at the mo
 
She said she is going to block him. They met at a family party in March. I'm going to have to go, don't think there is a way out of it now...as my Little ones think I'm going now too 🙄 I don't know what usually helps....probably just being by myself with my music up loud but I can't do that at the mo
It's prob usual for people who meet at a party, swap numbers, to flirt? I'd put this one out of your mind as it's not anything. And actually: if he wants to cheat on his partner: that is his business. This isn't a problem you need to keep in your head. Is there a way of telling yourself you won't think about it?

If there is no way to get out of going (your kids will be ok if you don't go, it's not a biggy). But if you feel there is no other option, perhaps this is a good time to practice some self soothing techniques?
Maybe going to the bathroom and playing a song softly on your phone, if music helps?
Or giving your kids a hug?
Whatever usually helps you.
And reminding yourself it's just X hours. It'll be over soon.
 
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