Bad Memory

[Unknown Victim]

I know I have PTSD, but I had it at a very young age. I got diagnosed with 4 mental illness including borderline which is trauma related. I scored low for PTSD but my concentration is bad and I thought it was good. But I think of several things at the same time without focus. I think I have good memory, but its visual. When I was four and I almost died, I don't remember nothing from the hospital stay to kindergarten. At this time, my loving brother tried to hang me and I don't remember this, but my mom tells me consistently. My word memory is bad. I can't remember names and I use both audio and visual to read books. The main point, I'm asking is this bad memory? When I retake the PTSD test I know. I don't know what normal is? I'm kind of envious of people who got PTSD at a older age, because you remember normal. I'm kind of prejudiced of people that got PTSD after 18 years old.

 

[Born2fightfire]

I know I have PTSD, but I had it at a very young age. I got diagnosed with 4 mental illness incl...

Why are you prejudiced of people who got it after 18? I know some great people that has gotten it in their 30s trying to save a life. I'm sorry about your situation, I'm Just curious.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

Yeah, I don't know what normal is either. When one isn't given LOVE and nurturing as a child, our "normal" is WAY different than someone who's parents "invested" in them with love and ""intentional" parenting.

So, your mother repeats the story of you being almost hung? Were you raised in a loving home? Did your brother continue being abusive? Those things probably kept you from being able to learn in a loving environment.

Many of us have multiple experiences of being traumatized in different ways. It sure interrupts learning how to cope.

I am sorry for your trauma that interrupted your learning process!

 

[EveHarrington]

Some people are visual learners and have a harder time remembering things they hear. Some people learn better by hearing and have a harder time remembering things they see. Perhaps this is part of it?

I personally remember things visually a lot better.

 

[Justmehere]

What "PTSD test" are you taking? Unless the test is administered by a qualified mental health professional who does a proper evaluation, most tests are actually just screening tools.

One screening tool that might be useful for gauging current memory difficulties as related to PTSD is the DES - dissociative experiences scale. It is not diagnostic but just gives some idea of possibility.

The only way to have PTSD diagnosed is via a mental health professional.

That all being said, having BPD and a trauma history is suggestive of a reasonable possibility of having PTSD from complex trauma.

It is also possible you don't have PTSD per se, but that the trauma affected you in a different way.

It is also possible the memory issues come from other mental or medical conditions like a TBI from the trauma, and there is no way to fully assess this online.

As a side note: it is possible to have memory problems from trauma related to PTSD and trauma that occurred after age 18. It's also very possible to experience recovery from trauma and PTSD even when the trauma can not be fully remembered.

 

[Jules1]

I know I have PTSD, but I had it at a very young age. I got diagnosed with 4 mental illness incl...

I definitely have poor memory and it can be very frustrating eh. I try to write down important things.... but its really annoying when you are having a discussion with someone and they can recall something clearer than you so you lose the argument/debate... Hate that.... That happens all the time... Just have to make peace with it really and focus on your strengths. It is quite possible that as you heal more your memory will improve; Power to you. oooo

 

[Sideways]

because you remember normal.

Just not true. Thing with memory is that so many conditions (mental and physical and neurological and...) impact memory in a stack of different ways. Then there's treating those conditions, which can also impact memory.

But I just want to second what @Justmehere said. There's all sorts of different ways of storing and recovering memory, and some people are just naturally inclined to be really strong (say) visual brains. But if you haven't mentioned your memory issues to your GP, maybe do that the next time you're there, just to rule out any organic causes.

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

Agreed with @Ragdoll Circus and @Justmehere. Also, it's totally normal to not remember events before about 5 or 6.

 

[joeylittle]

I know I have PTSD, but I had it at a very young age. I got diagnosed with 4 mental illness including borderline which is trauma related.

When was your trauma - is it what you are referring to when you almost died when you were 4, or something else?

And, can you share a little more about when you were diagnosed with your mental health stuff, and what the other diagnoses are?