DID Bar Exam + DID

[BlackBearFamily]

OH, my. I am recovering from DID and due to take my bar exam in February. Has anyone ever been in this position? Are there special 'tricks' of the trade for this sort of situation?

 

[Sideways]

Welcome to the forum:)

Are there special 'tricks' of the trade for this sort of situation?

I’m in Australia, so we don’t have the whole ‘bar exam’ situation. But always when I was studying and practicing law, it was one of my parts took care of it for me.

Which is pretty much how my brain deals with any specialised knowledge or skill. One of my parts is the specialist.

Often, now that I’ve got waaaay better internal communication going, they don’t need to take over and deal with those scenarios solo. I like to stay present these days - makes me feel more in control. But occasionally the situation is beat dealt with if I leave that part to its own devices, because they’re really good at that thing. That’s why my brain created them:)

 

[arfie]

i'm not well exposed to pro certification processes, but i have tons of exposure to test anxiety. would test anxiety strategies be helpful? the internet has billions of them. just wondering. . .

 

[BlackBearFamily]

But always when I was studying and practicing law, it was one of my parts took care of it for me.

Which is pretty much how my brain deals with any specialised knowledge or skill. One of my parts is the specialist.

Often, now that I’ve got waaaay better internal communication going, they don’t need to take over and deal with those scenarios solo. I like to stay present these days - makes me feel more in control. But occasionally the situation is beat dealt with if I leave that part to its own devices, because they’re really good at that thing. That’s why my brain created them:)

Hi Sideways,

I am close to coming out of the DID 'bottle.' While that is a good thing, it is really really hard to sit in the present all of the time without alters to buffer reality for me. And there are no longer any specialized parts to take exams for me. So, even though I am happy to have moved to this point, I am really pretty miserable.

There used to be cute little child and animals alters to play with, but they are all gone now. The alters who remain are not fun. Rather, they contain anger and a lot of pain. :(

 

[Sideways]

The alters who remain are not fun. Rather, they contain anger and a lot of pain

Yup.

And to be honest, starting up any kind of new communication with them right before a life-changing exam is probably not the right time! Opening up internal communication tends to initially be really messy.

But, at some point, if you want to heal from whatever it is that’s caused your self to fracture into parts, dealing with their anger and pain will probably become essential. Because it’s your anger, and your pain. No matter how well your brain has got it all compartmentalised right now.

There used to be cute little child and animals alters to play with, but they are all gone now.

What happened that they disappeared?

Or, have you just not heard from them in ages? If that’s the case, you may be able to tap into them still. It’s not unusual for parts to go underground for years, decades, lifetimes. But, like all components of our personality, we can usually tap back into them if we seek them out.

 

[BlackBearFamily]

But, at some point, if you want to heal from whatever it is that’s caused your self to fracture into parts, dealing with their anger and pain will probably become essential. Because it’s your anger, and your pain. No matter how well your brain has got it all compartmentalised right now.


Or, have you just not heard from them in ages? If that’s the case, you may be able to tap into them still. It’s not unusual for parts to go underground for years, decades, lifetimes. But, like all components of our personality, we can usually tap back into them if we seek them out.

My little animals and a certain very special child are now integrated. I loved them so much! Which is probably why they merged with me first. Once in a very great while I can get a tiny tiny inkling that perhaps Hunter Puppy might be around somewhere, but that inkling is like a very pale shadow, a ghost. I miss them terribly.

While they are now a part of me, they are not separate and so I cannot play or talk with them. And I no longer have alters to take over when I am feeling very upset or just need a break from the world.

Yes, I know it is my pain. I am 'painfully' aware (pun intended) that it is my pain. They talk aloud almost constantly whenever I am alone. Life is like being locked in a cell with the angriest person you know. I converse with them at times but I cannot get anywhere with them because, quite frankly, I don't have any good answers for them. And they don't like goody-two-shoes me. They want me to be aggressive. I explain to them that I am in law school so as to get the Bad Guys who hurt kids, but they want something less subtle, more direct. But I cannot give them what they want. It's a stalemate.



Truthfully, I miss the multiplicity.

 

[BlackBearFamily]

Sorry, I am not able to edit my post. Let me just add that all the 'fun' alters have been integrated. There are apparently only two alters left. One is a very angry adult. The other is a frightened little child who does not seem able to hear me when I speak. The child does not come out very often. So, essentially, I live with the angry adult part. Not fun.