BearDrummer
New Here
Greetings to all
My more standard name it Tony, but on the internet, (and amongst my apartment's kids) I tend to be known as BearDrummer, or Bear. For those wanting a deeper understanding of where I come from, feel free to follow links to my wordpress site, and read there. A few of the more relevant articles will have links at the end.
I suffer from PTSD. I thought I had it all under control, all tucked away in an emotional box, up until about a year ago. Then that box burst open, and I haven't been the same since. As of this writing, I am 41 - the original events that caused my PTSD, started around the age of 6, and continued until my parents separated when I was a high school junior. 20+ years of keeping it under control ended with a flourish. I lost my structure, that thing that I used to identify myself. Unemployment, and the inability to care for those I loved, took that structure, and shook me to my core. I relied on caring for my family. I identified taking care of my family, and being there for them, as my sense of being a good person, of being a worthy person. Long term unemployment, well, it sucks. It has become an ever devolving spiral - Unemployment caused the crumbling of the protective structures that kept the PTSD symptoms at bay, now PTSD is hindering employment, which further crumbles... you get the idea.
I thought this would be easier, because I planned on linking to my wordpress blog articles, but it seems that links are above my current membership level. I've come too far to back out now; it took me weeks after starting the registering process to actually get this far.
I grew up in a conservative religious environment where child abuse was required as a tenant of faith. It has caused lasting issues, PTSD being one of the primary. My wife grew up with a mother who suffers from PTSD type issues, so when we found ourselves in a bad situation (external to us), she also developed PTSD. Having two people with PTSD problems creates certain "interesting" issues. We are both trying to work through them.
This is a rather basic intro, but it should give enough to get started...
My more standard name it Tony, but on the internet, (and amongst my apartment's kids) I tend to be known as BearDrummer, or Bear. For those wanting a deeper understanding of where I come from, feel free to follow links to my wordpress site, and read there. A few of the more relevant articles will have links at the end.
I suffer from PTSD. I thought I had it all under control, all tucked away in an emotional box, up until about a year ago. Then that box burst open, and I haven't been the same since. As of this writing, I am 41 - the original events that caused my PTSD, started around the age of 6, and continued until my parents separated when I was a high school junior. 20+ years of keeping it under control ended with a flourish. I lost my structure, that thing that I used to identify myself. Unemployment, and the inability to care for those I loved, took that structure, and shook me to my core. I relied on caring for my family. I identified taking care of my family, and being there for them, as my sense of being a good person, of being a worthy person. Long term unemployment, well, it sucks. It has become an ever devolving spiral - Unemployment caused the crumbling of the protective structures that kept the PTSD symptoms at bay, now PTSD is hindering employment, which further crumbles... you get the idea.
I thought this would be easier, because I planned on linking to my wordpress blog articles, but it seems that links are above my current membership level. I've come too far to back out now; it took me weeks after starting the registering process to actually get this far.
I grew up in a conservative religious environment where child abuse was required as a tenant of faith. It has caused lasting issues, PTSD being one of the primary. My wife grew up with a mother who suffers from PTSD type issues, so when we found ourselves in a bad situation (external to us), she also developed PTSD. Having two people with PTSD problems creates certain "interesting" issues. We are both trying to work through them.
This is a rather basic intro, but it should give enough to get started...
