Becoming A Real Mental Case Over Pain

[Chava]

Would insurance typically pay for an advocate/social worker person? What would they do? Come to my appointments to mediate meltdowns or shutdowns? Help me process info? It seems like my primary doc is supposed to be my advocate but she doesn't know anything about my most likely pain diagnosis so it's like I'm just bugging her, telling her I need an upright MRI and she doesn't know what the hell that even means. Do the ligaments in my neck support my head? No. It's my head, I know this.

 

[Mishap]

Oh Chava. I know that pain. Mine is lumbar. It's exactly what you describe. After years of pain management and many different treatment and three pain mgt docs, I feel like it's finally under control. I even spent months in a wheelchair it got so bad. Talk about feeling useless. Now that same pain is happening in my head. It's been excruciating the last 3 days.

I hope Friday has more info for you on the hospital advocates and social workers. This is news to me, too.

All I can do is tell you I know. I know exactly what you're feeling and it's rare to find someone who can so truly relate. Who's been in your place and feels your brand of pain. My thoughts are with you. My heart goes out to you. I hope you get pain management quickly and that you get the help you need.

 

[Chava]

Thank you again @Mishap . Pain is less today (just exhausted), so it's like some of the horrible intensity and alarms are settling. I can see this is also extra hard sometimes because I did grow up feeling like I had to be super useful or super talented...and super self-sufficient, not needing anything, super strong, super cool with everything. Like nobody even wants to hear you complain about suffocating. So the pain and trying to take care of it or be slow and somewhat helpful to myself is horrible sometimes....so much self-hatred. And also I don't have good ways to cope. Because of all of that other self-sufficient, super strong, super capable stuff I don't even know how to ask for help or let others know what is going on (though I also know most people won't understand or know how to help anyway...am really hoping for better help from doctors). I used to be so good at numbing out, which was at least helpful, but it's like pain is making that impossible too...just always screaming at me. f*ck you, body.

I can only tell my therapist that I just want to die. Definitely some void in how I'm managing.

 

[Mishap]

@Chava Many pain management docs require therapy as part of treatment, at least initially. They usually have someone on staff you see occasionally just to make sure you're doing okay. The therapist will give you ways to cope with chronic pain and living with it every day. It's very stressful so they go over stress reduction techniques with you and help you find ways to keep the stress down as much as you can, and handle it in healthy ways. It's not like seeing a regular therapist really. It's pretty focused on your pain treatment, how your meds are working, how you're coping, that sort of thing.

That should help fill the void in how you're managing. In the meantime any relaxation tools you have will help, deep breathing, relaxing music (Steven Halpern is my favorite when I'm really stressed, it's just instrumental so I can drift and relax), exercise if you can manage it, and use distraction techniques. Doing something to take your mind off the pain will help some, especially if it's something you enjoy. Google will have lots more ideas for you if you search for "coping with chronic pain" or "stress reduction techniques."

I'm glad today was better. Don't try to overachieve. Listen to your body and what it's trying to tell you. It really isn't "f*** you!" It's "help me!"

 

[Chava]

thank you

just exhausted