Been Battel This For Four Years

[concretesix]

I have been trying to beat this beast for the last 4 years. I am about 11 months sober and feel great but i cant seem to get a handle on my issues i have a service dog who comes with me everywhere but i still find it extreamly hard to go anywhere because i dont like having people behind me and to make things worse we moved and have primarly wooden floors my wife walks like a damn rhinno and my kids are dropping thing and the doors slam because of the wind adn we cant close them and turn on the AC because it is so freaking expensive here. today i wanted to tell my wife i wanted divorce because she deserves so much beeter then me i feel like i am crippling my family because iam alwasy scared.

 

[Need an Oasis]

Hi Concretesix, welcome. This is a good place to be. We are all in the same boat. :)

 

[tho9900]

not gonna go too far into a convo till I get to know ya better but welcome... and NAO said it right on target....

 

[Zipperhead]

Why not let the wife decide if shes had enough? No sense doing a premptive strike. It does get better.

 

[Ned]

Hello Concretesix. Read up, mate. Lots of helpful stuff here and you will recognise that you're not the only one and you can do something to make it better.
Like Zip said, see what your missus feels about it.

 

[tho9900]

Just a thought and ok imma comment before I get to know you better... too many times when I started spiraling I pushed the ones I were close to away real fast... didn't wanna hurt them because I loved em enough to not wanna hurt em.. I could short circuit a relationship in 10 seconds flat..

Ends up that hurt em even more... if Nic wasn't a former gangsta (used to run with the gangs) and knows a bit of where I am coming from... I woulda pushed her off long ago..

Not sure where you live but the Mental Health clinic at the VA has done a lot for me... had a lotta rly bad days since I started going.. but when I have a good one, it's pretty damn good as well..

Don't cut off your nose to spite your face.. embrace the people who care about ya.. let them make the choice to leave... pushing them away only hurts both sides even worse.. you sitting at the table not talking to them cuz you are withdrawn into yourself is better than staring at an empty chair to a lotta people..

 

[Ned]

Don't cut off your nose to spite your face.. embrace the people who care about ya.. let them make the choice to leave... pushing them away only hurts both sides even worse.. you sitting at the table not talking to them cuz you are withdrawn into yourself is better than staring at an empty chair to a lotta people..

That says it.

 

[Sarg]

Welcome Six,

I'm echoing what the others have said. The Beast is very good at driving you to make snap decisions that are not well thought out. Many times, wrong. It's like sitting in a bunker and someone yells "incoming!" You skrunch up and wait for it to hit, you don't go running out and start singing the Star Spangle Banner.

Skrunch up and weather the storm right now until you get some therapy. Marriage is not a vacation, it's a job, with both of you pulling in the same direction. Don't give up your partner, she may wind up being your anchor to reality.

Sarg

 

[Anglesachse]

Welcome to the fold Concrete6 mate.

As the others have all said everything there isn`t a lot more to add.

But they are right, I nearly lost my misses, due to me being an ass, but we managed to get back on track once I had seen I had issues, and got put into a clinic.

Still days that are hard, but they get fewer.

Hang in there Brother

 

[B.Bonney]

I have been trying to beat this beast for the last 4 years. I am about 11 months sober and feel great but i cant seem to get a handle on my issues i have a service dog who comes with me everywhere but i still find it extreamly hard to go anywhere because i dont like having people behind me and to make things worse we moved and have primarly wooden floors my wife walks like a damn rhinno and my kids are dropping thing and the doors slam because of the wind adn we cant close them and turn on the AC because it is so freaking expensive here. today i wanted to tell my wife i wanted divorce because she deserves so much beeter then me i feel like i am crippling my family because iam alwasy scared.

I have recently had the same thoughts concerning my fiancee. Why screw up her life because mine is jacked up. I know that isn't constructive thinking and if I head down that road to far real trouble shows up!

 

[Jimmy1]

Hey guys, it's their choice don't you think. I once had this discussion with another veteran on this site, and this is what I said.

To live with a person with PTSD takes iron skin and a carefree attitude to life.

You really have to ask them how they feel. Tell them they are free to go so they don't feel trapped, but tell them you don't want to emotionally hurt them. It really is their choice though. Maybe they want to learn about PTSD and help you. I just got married recently and I talk about how I feel all the time.

You can never beat the beast, but you can tame it and learn to live with it. It is like a faithful dog though, it will always follow you around and if you treat it roughly, it might just bite you.