Relationship Been Friends For Ten Years

[rtm7]

So here is my story. I just started dating my guy about 2 weeks ago. We have been friends for 10 years and there was always a connection between us from back in college but he was married at the time and I was also. Now 10 years later we decided to give us a try and mainly me because he has been telling me for years now how he felt about me. When we met he had just gotten discharged from the Navy then about a year later he enlisted in the Army (he was still married to his ex at this point). He has told me a little of what he has been through and seen while in Iraq. He was also the only survivor from his platoon. He was medically discharged and came home in a wheel chair and his ex told him she could not be with someone who couldn't take care of her and that he wasn't the same person. We lost touch for a few years and last year we reconnected. He was there for me when I was going through my break up with my ex and he had already been divorced for 2 years. He told me about his PTSD and the outcome of the end of the relationship with his ex (who knew which buttons to push to push him to his limits). So now we started talking more on a romantic level and has always told me that he has been waiting for me since we first met. I always thought we were just friends but it turns out that I really do care for him and want to be with him. These last 2 weeks have been such a roller coaster and at first I was so confused because one day he would tell me that he missed me and wanted to be with me then the next I wouldn't hear from him or his texts were very short or at times wouldn't respond. He has apologized several times because he tells me he is confused and doesn't know what to do and that he is scared of starting a relationship and hurting me. I chalked it up to just him playing with my emotions but now realizing that I think its his PTSD and he opened up to me today telling me he wasn't breaking up with me but he needed a few days to clear his head and be alone. He is seeing a therapist and is on medication as well. We really don't get to spend much time together since we both have kids and full time careers. I am willing to be supportive and do what I have to be there for him but not sure what exactly I can do. He is a great man and I would hate to lose the chance at what I know we could have. Any advice would be helpful.

 

[Peach]

Hi. Welcome. :)

What you can do for him and you is to read old posts on this board. Become knowledegable about PTSD and you'll probably begin to recognize some of his behaviors and getbanbetter understanding of what might be the best course of action at a particular time. It's not easy, but also not impossible to have the relationship you want. It will, however, take a lot of effort on both your parts.

Hope that helps.

 

[Sweetpea76]

If it has only been two weeks, and you are already at your wits end, then you really need to question whether or not you can handle being in a relationship with somebody with PTSD. It's forever, there is no cure.

 

[Friday]

Patience.

Sufferer here... I get immensely weird when I catch feelings for someone, and then again whenever the relationship changes "definition".

I settle down eventually, but change just isn't something most of us are much good at. Even great, wanted, perfect change.