General Being complimented - a poll

[Never_falter2]

Do you like being complimented?/Does your sufferer like being complimented? Why/Why not? Do you feel as a cripple sometimes because of ptsd health problems or disability? Does your sufferer sometimes feel like this? Does being complimented how well you cope/how well your sufferer copes help is it neutral or does it hurt?

 

[OrangeJulius]

I like being complimented or praised for anything. It means more and is less awkward when it comes from someone close to me. I like it because its satisfying to learn that someone else recognizes the effort I am putting into something and I can share my sense of accomplishment with them.

My vet gets awkward with praise and will try to downplay whatever he is being praised for.... but he still seems to appreciate it. He has definitely learned over time to accept my praise instead of downplay it because he knows I won't allow him to downplay it. He does not take well to praise from people he does not have respect for.

(In case "downplay" doesn't translate....it means to act like something isn't a big deal or was easy....so if I praised a doctor for saving someone's life and they say its just part of their job....they are "downplaying" their huge accomplishment of saving a life)

 

[Never_falter2]

I like being complimented too... at least most of the time... well sometimes I fear that a compliment is poisoned when coming from someone I do not like/someone who doesn’t like me... but most of the time I like being complimented. I think I fear so, because sometimes I like making poisoned compliments... like when I really do not like the person... I am sort of mean... and guess I think everybody is as mean as me,

I think that vet does like being complimented. I hope so.

 

[Friday]

Sufferer here

It depends entirely on who is doing the compliment, about what, and how they go about doing it.

 

[Never_falter2]

Sufferer here

It depends entirely on who is doing the compliment, about what, and how they go about doing it.

Could you give an example of a compliment you like and one you do not like?

 

[Gs172003]

Sufferer here

It depends entirely on who is doing the compliment, about what, and how they go about doing it.

^this

 

[Never_falter2]

BTW @Friday I like the way you answered this thread (did you like this compliment or hate it?)... no, really... I like your answers... but I guess you already know this.

 

[Rani G2]

Yes unfortunately I expect to be complimented mostly. Inner Ego battle vs Reality. Saying unfortunately because I have a deep sense of worthlesness..I cover up with layers of grandiosity.

 

[Ronin]

No. I struggle even with their gratefulness.

Outside of the relationship... I'm glad if I can give people something, but it still clashes with way many core beliefs to register as real.

I like complimenting people though, b/c appreciating them & what they did & I like achievements & people having nice days & what have you, good things.

 

[Kubash16]

Have you done the 5 love languages with your vet?

In the last thread I already told ya what I hate about compliments.

The way I know someone likes/respects me and things I do is through them choosing to spend their time with me and by surprising me with a thoughtful gifts or help with something (as long as the help doesn’t negate the work I’ve put in like my effort wasn’t enough). If it’s verbal I can’t stomach it. Just makes my brain go haywire.

 

[scout86]

Generally don't feel comfortable receiving compliments. A good friend finally told me that, "the appropriate response is to say "thank you", then shut up." I tend to argue with compliments, I guess.

I'm not sure why I feel that way. It just doesn't seem like they could possibly be sincere, or accurate.

On the other hand, I try to be quick to give compliments, and i mean what i say, when i say it.

 

[grit]

For me most of my life I coiled when complimented. It used to feel like being manipulated. I do give compliments easily and sincerely because I know it can disarm or cause discomfort. There is a but coming. I learned in therapy the fact I hide from being complimented and taking attention or space was one the reasons I never got promoted---my aversion to solicit acknowledgement and take a praise shut the doors. Now if a person gives me compliment out of their generosity or automatically awkwardness and anxiety, I take it accordingly.