Being handed a list of coping skills in a crisis…


About a month ago, I went to a walk in crisis center, they gave me a short list of coping skills. Like a list that could be found on Google. Told me to read it and leave. That was it. I was pretty suicidal at the time. Told them. They said to apply the list. Am I wrong to be bothered about this? It wasn’t a bad list. It was a reasonable list. I felt stupid for going. Like I could have googled it myself. I was already applying coping skills. It just wasn’t enough. I left. They had nothing else to offer.
This has happened to me, just recently. My obsessions are hell. My therapist just gave me a list of 75+ ways to distract myself (as if I hadn’t already been doing that?) The next time I told her that I don’t believe in avoidance so she gives me a sheet on using the Socratic method (IIRC) to challenge my thoughts. Ok, but what if your thoughts are true? Gaslighting myself is not an option, I won’t Pollyanna my way out of this. I REALLY need someone to work with me one on one like they do in the damn hospital (this should be something available in therapy). I have an appointment on Thursday with someone who specializes in OCD (and I can’t stop thinking that she is going to cancel on me…..I have been waiting almost 2 months to see her). If she cancels I don’t know what I’m going to do. I need actual help, and you do, too. Handing someone a list of coping skills isn’t actually helping them.

Are you in the USA? There’s a national suicide text number that can at least help in the moment. I’ve used it a few times now to help pull myself up at least a little bit.
For me’self, that will either be the second best thing I can hope for, or the 2nd worst.


It’s 2nd best when. I. just. can’t. think. I’m not even capable of google at that point. I may not even be capable of reading, letters swirling around on the page, and need someone to read things out to me. Like being so hungry you can’t read the menu, and need someone else to order for you, or just ask the server to bring out whatever’s most popular. I knoooooow there are things that work, but I can’t remember what they are, or how to apply them, or WTF to do about anything. So what I reeeeeally really need is a tangible, physical list, that I can refer back to. Either written or recorded.

The 2nd worst will be when I can think/remember/apply just fine. If basic
to advanced coping skills were f*cking working??? I wouldn’t be in crisis.


Am I wrong to be bothered when I’m already doing all ^^^that^^^ and more, and I’m given some stupid printout… when I have a seeeeerious disorder in play, am suicidal, in crisis… and have marched my ass to seek expert help, but am turfed with a printout like someone is handing out water at a marathon? f*ck no. Especially as sometimes that’s one of the most helpful things for me. One doesn’t cancel out the other. The opposite.

I felt stupid for going.
That you found yourself dealing with stupid people, does not make you stupid.

Sometimes when I’m feeling stupid? It’s because I’m being stupid.

Sometimes when I’m feeling stupid? It’s because the person/people I’m dealing with don’t just have stupid rolling off of them in waves, but are a tsunami in a monsoon flooding everyone else with their own idiocy.
even with "good insurance," i've gotten less, especially since the covidic madness, and am all too familiar with the desperate feelings of abandonment which come with that treatment. if only just getting help was as justy as the people who blow me off with the cliche, "just get help" seem to think it is.

i still haven't fully processed, much less resolved the more recent covidic rejections, but the ones i received as a homeless teenager and a desperate young mother have since fallen under the adage, "when the time was right, the teacher will appear." as a homeless teenager, i wasn't ready to understand, much less do the hard work of recovery. as a desperate young mother, i didn't have the time. each and every time i've had the time, willingness and resources, a teacher has appeared.
When s—t hits the fan, and everything is just too much, I’m in more pain than I can put words to… there’s something so painful about being handed a list I could find on google. I even said in the moment, “I’m in mental hell, I risked everything to come in and answer all your humiliating questions, and your only intervention is to hand me a list I could find on google? That’s it?”

They affirmed .. Yeah, that was it.

“Why would I come here then when what you provide can be found on google with less stress and humiliation?”

At the same time, I have done worksheet and created my own reminder cards of coping skills I can use and found it very helpful to use myself later when in a bad spot, or trying to prevent being in one.

But that’s just it. If such a list was working, I wouldn’t have gone in!

It makes sense now why the place wasn’t busy.
I feel the same wat as everyone who replied to this thread. When I am consumed with the dark thoughts, I am not myself and become hopeless. I can't really do anything or remember any of the tools. It just doesn't matter how many tools I have been given.
I find it the most helpful when I get support from the loved ones and also from the peers from the support group.
And I also try to remind myself of the hopes for the future and the love I have.
I need to be strong.