Relationship Being Psychoanalyzed By My Vet

[Neverthesame]

I don't know if it's the same thing, but when I feel like someone is digging into my behaviour (specifically health related). For example: The fact that I smoke, drink too many red bulls, sleep poorly, and not eating enough or healthy. Doesn't matter who it is, the first thing out of my mouth is "You know I was an EMT right? Unless you have a doctorate in medicine you forgot to mention. I am pretty sure I am better capable of diagnosing a hang nail than you are."

It's rude, I don't totally understand why I do that. I just become super defensive when I am being looked at like I am supposed to be on the stretcher instead of carrying it.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Normalize? So we both are on equal footing, so to speak?

Yep, that's what I meant! If everyone has mental issues, then I don't feel like such a freak....

 

[Sweetpea76]

I usually don't try to engage or argue with him when he starts in with this, but I may have to start. It would be a lot easier if he was in a better place when he did it, and if he just plain didn't think he was so damn right all the time.

 

[Friday]

Flip reply.... Um... Have you seen the 10,001 armchair psychology "diagnosing" that happens round here? One paragraph about a stranger, written by a stranger, and all of a sudden diagnoses start flying like snowballs. Narcissist! Psychopath! Run for the hills!!! ;)

More seriously...

When I'm doing badly the impulse to categorize things... Is pervasive. Threat, non-threat, at its most basic. Really, though, it's everything. From dishes to clothes to people. In order to relax? I need shit organized. Lol. Being ADHD this is a little (read completely) contrary to my nature.

People "need" to be categorized more than just about anything.

Sometimes it gets so bad that I see people on the street as caricatures of themselves. It's surreal, and annoying, and I try to avoid going out in public when I'm doing it. When I'm not doing so badly, but also not doing well, profile-mode is still running constantly, it's just not so visually annoying. I generally try to avoid looking at people, and just stay behind my own eyes. It's just exhausting, otherwise. Like searching for someone in a crowd. Nowhere near as awesome, but very much like BBCs Sherlock as he scans everyone, and gets all these details that tells him things about them. It's useful in country, because a "little" thing spells a hidden weapon, or a drug habit that is gonna make someone stupid if confronted a certain way, or they're trying to distract you while their friends get in position to blow you up, or, or, or. Oy. Even thinking about it makes my eyes tired.

You'd think it would end at the front door, but it doesn't. I'm still looking for patterns, nuances, anything different.

<grin> This can be put to good use when I'm in a good place. In large part, because it's no longer overwhelming. I still have decent situational awareness, better really, than when I'm all hypervig... Because I'm not so tunnel vision & exhausted. But when I'm in a difficult place? I want everyone and everything in a neatly labeled box. Or I want to pitch a fit. In both cases, I work on the oh-so toddler lesson of "Ya don't always get what you want."

 

[Sweetpea76]

Flip reply.... Um... Have you seen the 10,001 armchair psychology "diagnosing" that happens round here? One paragraph about a stranger, written by a stranger, and all of a sudden diagnoses start flying like snowballs. Narcissist! Psychopath! Run for the hills!!! ;)

^^ Well spotted. Maybe that is a side effect of therapy... we all start being Freud. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, eh?

 

[Ronin]

Mates :roflmao:. So spot on and so true.
Still, at least we're collectively screwed in the process, if it comes to it. I'm just fine with that mental map of what will bring snow and where are the hills. Both weather and cover? All in. (... Now where's the booze, we're all set.)

 

[Sighs]

Hugs to you @Sweetpea76 - my vet does something very similar. He constantly tells me I'm a weirdo. Everything I do that isn't exactly and precisely what he would do when he would do it in the way he does it is weird. He'll roll his eyes, tell the dogs "Mummy is a freak", do that hand gesture circling around your ear to indicate someone is crazy etc etc. When it is relentless, day after day, it really wears you down. Especially when you spend almost all your time running around after this man, trying to make his life more comfortable!

I used to cry about it a lot. Now I get angry and tell him he's being an arse. Then he says that he was mucking around and I have no sense of humour. I've tried humour - hell - this year I bought him a Valentine's Day card that said on the front "Before I met you I was a lonely weirdo" and on the inside "Now I'm not lonely anymore." ;) I wouldn't mind so much if it were only ever in a mucking around way, but its very similar to what he says when he is having a blow up. So I feel that all the nasty things he says when having a blow up are re-enforced by him saying this when he's calm.

We had an argument about it this weekend. I explained that it hurts my feelings and he promised to stop doing it. Ha! We'll see how long that lasts!

 

[Ronin]

Ha! We'll see how long that lasts!

That brings me to, could you make it a challenge? Either to himself if he can keep his word, or with some other alternatives? Thinking making it about options that are all him (and his honor, given word, standards), not so much about you or the relationship - but phrasing what you'd like him to do in a way that's in his interest to do it.

 

[Sighs]

I made it a bet. He said he wouldn't do it anymore. I said I bet you do. He said I bet I don't. We'll see...

 

[Ronin]

Fingers crossed. ;)

 

[Sweetpea76]

I always wonder how much of this is just a "man thing"... it seems like a lot of men think women are insane by nature. You know, because we have emotions. :O_o:

 

[Sighs]

There's a reason "hysterical" and "hysterectomy" sound the same... Our "wandering wombs" make us mad. Seriously. :rolleyes: