GunnerZulu
Bronze Member
Its recently come to my attention with a little introspection and some me time, that to no fault of my own have been living a life, full of unfair judgement. Due to my injury and maybe some other mitigating factors, I find myself hating a lot. I want to say the word loathing or seething, but I find myself stopping just short of those two extremes. Even the level of my internal anger has limits, limits that cannot be violated, even if I flirt dangerously with those limits from time to time. But im not a perfect human being, even though I choose not to exert anger through any kind of violence, the thought occasionally pops into my mind, and I have to catch myself, something im learning to do with more strength everyday.
But I surely can't have these ideas for no reason right? I judge people, I find humor in it, which is a guilty sin. But I've always had a pretty dark sense of humor, a lot of the time more than people can stand. I just joke around very seriously, which is I guess kind of a oxymoron I suppose, but it's me I can't change who I am. So to remedy this judgmental side of me that is doing more harm than good right now, I will be walking the dialectic. This is all harder done than said obviously, but my foundation is solid right now. I dont think I've ever been on such solid ground.
Not to undermine any of your suffering, I am suffering with you. But I have been fortunate enough to be in the treatment I am in, I am under the care of a really competent psychiatrist, and I have a fantastic psychologist. I think it would be weird if I WASN'T getting better lol For the first time in my life I am seeing life with my own personal needs being met as well as everyone around me, and it feels nice! Everyone is a human being, and every human being has the need to be heard and respected. And I will not continue with negative judging, Your never supposed to judge a book by it's cover right?
Love you guys, hope everyone is having a good week!
GunnerZulu
But I surely can't have these ideas for no reason right? I judge people, I find humor in it, which is a guilty sin. But I've always had a pretty dark sense of humor, a lot of the time more than people can stand. I just joke around very seriously, which is I guess kind of a oxymoron I suppose, but it's me I can't change who I am. So to remedy this judgmental side of me that is doing more harm than good right now, I will be walking the dialectic. This is all harder done than said obviously, but my foundation is solid right now. I dont think I've ever been on such solid ground.
Not to undermine any of your suffering, I am suffering with you. But I have been fortunate enough to be in the treatment I am in, I am under the care of a really competent psychiatrist, and I have a fantastic psychologist. I think it would be weird if I WASN'T getting better lol For the first time in my life I am seeing life with my own personal needs being met as well as everyone around me, and it feels nice! Everyone is a human being, and every human being has the need to be heard and respected. And I will not continue with negative judging, Your never supposed to judge a book by it's cover right?
Love you guys, hope everyone is having a good week!
GunnerZulu
