Beyond frustrated

[Kaylove498]

I've done everything to make this stop I've worked out everyday I've changed my diet,I've got on a better sleep schedule.Ive wrote things down ive.Ive tried therapy meds,I've done meditation,I've pushed myself to go back into my normal day to day activities and it won't go away.

I'm still numb I still feel like I'm in a dream or possibly stuck in some type of purgatory. I feel like a weight is on my chest like I can't breathe. No emotion at all or very little emotion. No where feels like home anymore everyone feels like strangers and all my memories feel like someone else's and let's not forget I feel physically numb all the time.

I don't know what to do anymore or if I'm even alive anymore. I just want me back and I want to look at my parents and know who they are again yes I know they are my parents but everyone including feels very unfamiliar.

I have moments where I feel confused on why I'm where I'm at rather than at my childhood home.

I'm just frustrated I know healing takes time but nothing makes sense anymore.

 

[Ronin]

Give it time Kay?

Because if you went back to normal life so recent your body is whole probably yet catching up on what the hell, changes.

So doesn't have time to feel real, needs get what changed and is new first.

Heads don't know things as fast as people in them want them to.

Doesn't mean it is wrong.

And you were drinking not long ago too, no?
So that head is numb now is normal for that. Takes time be okay after drinking.

 

[Kaylove498]

I'm trying I just get tired of feeling blank if that makes sense....

 

[Ronin]

*nods* I get it.

Keep thinking of all the good things you doing with your life even when numb? Because that is sure good things and good victories. To get so lot health back and try at everything so hard.

 

[Kaylove498]

I am I guess some days I just get down a little easier than others .
I have moments where I'm like wow I actually did that without being scared but at the same time I'm just so numb that when I do get excited about doing better it goes away again and I become blank like nothing really matters.

 

[Ronin]

If you did it while numb / scared?

That is *more* victory not less or worse.

And small times not numb is a lot.
Like grey and bleak weather with sunrays.

The sun is not less there just because comes out only once a day.
And the time it comes is time be happy, not cry for all time everything is grey.

It's okay to not like that grey at all. Or be unhappy about it. But just saying that good moments are mattering more if far and in between. They aren't canceled by all else going bad.