Relationship Big Shock Tonight

[Nicolette]

Wishing you all the luck to have an amicable outcome Jawn.

 

[KP the nut]

(((Jawn))) I hope it goes well for you. You know the old joke, 'What do you call a laywer at the bottom of the sea?'

 

[anni]

That's so nice to hear! These types of lawyers really are the ones the dam jokes are about-that's awful but am not surprised. Maybe a letter to the local bar association is in order from both of you when this is all over-it's pretty border line unethical to deliberately stir things up when the intent to settle things amicably and otherwise is on the table.

It does sound like it will be a productive weekend. I hope it goes as well as it promises to. As Amethist said, all the best to you.

 

[valdoodle]

Thank you for your help Jawn. Very much appreciated on a nightmare day and valued as you, yourself have been in a similar situation. Yesterday was the worst day. It is the most difficult thing I have ever been through in my life. If it hadn't been for reading similar posts and advice on this forum I wouldn't have known what was going on. PTSD is something else. I do know that the years we spent together were the best and worst life can throw at anyone. I wouldn't have changed it for anything. Just wish I had understood it earlier.

He has kept his key and left some things here too. He says he still loves me and thinks of this as home. Also that his flat is too strange and he may come back. I am sure I have read this here before, that carers have been kept hanging on. sometimes for months/years? Is this quite common? For now the probably false hope (and he has let me down so many times) is better than nothing. I think I am a security blanket at the moment.

My main aim today is trying to resist the urge to text or phone on any excuse I can think of, just to keep in touch.
I am realising that I need to do things for myself but after trying to anticipate someone's mood and 'walking on eggshells' for 14 years it is so different.

In everything I do, he is still my focus. I am cross with myself. I have just been to the supermarket and bought all his favourite food 'incase he calls in'. How wrong is that. Grrrrr:tdown:

On a brighter note, my daughter and boyfriend visit for the weekend so I hope to put a healthy normal perspective into my head. Sometimes I get it.... what I need to do.... then I forget! I know, if I am going to be any use at all I need to 'grow a pair' and stop being so preoccupied with 'him'. Baby steps.

 

[Jawn]

Well last Saturday didn't go well. Let's say her proposal was WAY off the charts. Very one-sided in her favor. So on Monday I gave her my version of the proposal which went to the opposite extreme.....on purpose to let her know I wasn't just going to roll over and let her have her way. Let's just say she liked mine as much as I liked hers.

I heard back from her today that she is working on another proposal and I should see it tomorrow. Hopefully it is more realistic and is something we can work with the weekend to get to a final settlement. The deadline is next week that we want to beat, so we need to get it done ASAP. Hopefully that will happen. If not my attorney has a "response" ready to file late next week if needed. I showed my attorney both proposals and she said neither of you are being realistic and you need to move towards the middle. That's what the 2 attorneys would do at a significantly higher cost.

Anyway, I am hopeful that we can make progress soon. Really there are only a couple of things that we aren't able to agree on. So keep your fingers crossed for me or say a prayer.....whatever.

Thanks,

Jawn

 

[KP the nut]

Bodily parts which can cross are. I'll be sending positive thoughts and have a candle lit.
(((HUGS)))
KP

 

[intothelight]

Hi Jawn,

I am really sorry you are going through all of this. Glad to here you are looking out for yourself.

Debbie

 

[anni]

Funny how 'stuff' gets in the way of getting anything done-could end up costing her more money than whatever the item is worth in the end! Why can't people see that at least sooner in divorces? I'm sorry it didn't go as well as you wished, but perhaps now it will with that deadline coming up. Not many people could have stayed as impressively clear sighted through this, I must say! I don't think as many lawyers would turn into those kinds of sharks if everyone dealt with this stuff like you've been-there'd be no profit! Guess you'd see the crowd sprinting behind ambulances getting denser, huh?

I hope it goes well, you deserve some peace now.

 

[Deleted member 6617]

Sorry things are going rough for you Jawn. Hope this weekend works out better and you can come to some middle ground. Glad you are taking care of yourself.

 

[Nicolette]

Fingers, toes and everything else possible crossed again for you Jawn. It seems when it gets down to the financial things it is never easy and the "wanting to be amicable" usually walks out the door along with $$$ :rolleyes:

 

[Jawn]

Well things look like they are finally going to get resolved. Many months and several thousand dollars later, we are back to a settlement that about matches where we started. It's been a rocky road for sure, but there seems to be light at the end of the tunnel.

Things have also not been going well for me at work, so maybe I will be more clear headed and productive there if the divorce stuff gets wrapped up soon.

Any way, I am hopeful that a resolution will be reached and we can stop the bleeding to the attorneys soon.

Jawn

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Glad its getting better for you. :)