Blocked Trauma

[Shane1979]

My therapist wants me to write down events that happened during a certain length of time. How does one begin to do that when they can't remember due to trauma?

 

[Kubash16]

Does your therapist know you can’t remember?

 

[Chris-duck]

Do you not remember at all? Or do remember bits and pieces? If you remember but it's kinda fragmented it might be a way to put the pieces together?

 

[Kubash16]

That’s what I was thinking. And if anything you can always right down any thoughts or particularly feelings you get when you try to remember.

Either way don’t stress yourself out. It’s pretty common around here to not remember some or all of deep traumas. Don’t try to force it and don’t let yourself create a memory just to have something to write, it won’t be helpful at all.

 

[Ronin]

I would start at everything I DO remember, of that time or around that time.

Or at other events that was significant for what I don't remember, if there is a theme.
Eventually, at what I have some verification for, and what those things mean to me.

 

[Friday]

1. Tell them that.
2. Find the edges. // Where memory starts & stops & how/why/what happens when it does stop. And where it picks back up, again.

 

[Starfire]

Familiar!! Called Integrated Life Therapy, I think. If it's what you are talking about. My T started with one event per year. Significant in the grand scheme or not. Ex. year got first pet, car, year left for college, met a best friend as well as traumatic stuff. T had me check receipts, yearbooks, old records, family/friends stories, photos. Checked with family if they remembered something important for them from that year. Also relating historical events. The year the towers came down, bad storm, favorite band. Got first computer, first cell phone, job. Began to fill in..if x happened this year & two years later z happened then y probably happened inbetween! A little piece of info, broken finger in a basketball game, led to remembering a major incident that had nothing to do with basketball, the game or anything else. Have no idea why the memory showed up. Just know it did. Don't try too hard. I'd hear something on TV or hear a song. I could check the year. It would spark a memory or a detail. I'd write it down. Let it simmer. Just see what comes up. Hope it is as helpful to you as it was/is to me.

 

[katz]

I have multiple people and places also. I know that I don't remember everything. I probably won't. There are a number of things that happen automatically when you get to the freeze/fight/flight stage in the experience. I know that I will only remember how much of it that I "need" to remember. I will also only remember what I can handle at this time. So, don't force yourself to remember. Just be gentle to yourself. If the time comes, then it will. If not, then that's okay also.

As the years have gone on, more memories have come thru. I have also forgotten some - again. Thank goodness for my journal. I once told a T that I write that same story over and over, sometimes adding details and some times not. She told me that this was good for me. It will help me to work thru the memories and learn to process them.

This also gives me time to mourn. I can read thru them and feel my pain that I had so many years ago. I also know that I may never look at them again. But, knowing that they are "out" of me is good. I don't worry about them. I know that if I need to go back, then they are there for me.

 

[Starfire]

As the years have gone on, more memories have come thru. I have also forgotten some - again...Katz

Thanks for mentioning this. After the recent death of my sister, I have had to go thru mountains of hoarded paperwork. Something will trigger a memory, then I'll know I have remembered this before, & (chose to?) forget again. How could I forget something so significant? Some I know I've worked on in therapy.

 

[katz]

As the years have gone on, more memories have come thru. I have also forgotten some - again...Katz

Thanks for mentioning this. After the recent death of my sister, I have had to go thru mountains of hoarded paperwork. Something will trigger a memory, then I'll know I have remembered this before, & (chose to?) forget again. How could I forget something so significant? Some I know I've worked on in therapy.

I can certainly understand your feelings now, with what your going thru. I just lost my mother, and am having problems dealing with her death. Her passing has certainly brought some new memories to the surface for me to deal with.