Body Memories

[I am .....]

Not sure if this is where I should post this, sorry if not. I REALLY could use some help, any advice welcome. I'm currently experiencing some excruciating body memories from childhood sexual abuse. All my 'go to' self help and calming techniques aren't working or only minimally effective ;( I'm currently curled up in a ball in bed with heat packs. What has helped others when dealing with painful body memories?

 

[GWhizz]

I'm really sorry you're going through this. The heatpacks sound like a good idea. I don't know have you ever tried 'non focused awareness'? Basically, you try distract from the pain by tuning into your surroundings. Say, 'that's the clock ticking' or 'I hear an aeroplane overhead' etc. It's only a temporary distraction but it may help a little. I also find mindfulness meditation helps. But if I was REALLY in pain - I would probably take a pain killer even.

I hope you can get some rest - let me know how you're going :-)

 

[I am .....]

Thanks @GWhizz, I will try ur suggestion, I have taken pain killers also. Not a very nice state to be in :( just trying to concentrate on the fact that it will pass. Bit hard to remind myself of that when it's already been hours.

 

[GWhizz]

I really do feel for you. This is one of the worst symptoms of PTSD I think. I have quite a good pain tolerance, but when it comes to body memories of past trauma, I'm a mess. I hope it subsides very soon

 

[Seasounds]

When the usual relaxation techniques didn't help, I chose to explore more active therapies that had me express (move) my anger, and pain through my voice (two years of Linklater Technique) and through my movement (hitting pillows while vocalizing anger-externalizing it instead of internalizing it), movement therapies- Alexander Technique, and a self-defense class, model mugging, that supported me to effectively fight back.

I kept exploring possibilities (sometimes six months to a year or two with the same method) until I experienced a shift. Also, sensitive and deep body work helped (always do this as you can relax with your breath through muscular tension; and a gentler technique also helped-craniosacral technique. This exploration took patience, and it paid off.

 

[marylouise]

#change, did you have a practitioner experienced with trauma for the craniosacral therapy?

 

[Seasounds]

First, to answer even broader than your question, with the deep tissue work, Craniosacral work, anger expressive work, model mugging, and movement work, all facilitators were sufficiently experienced in working with people dealing with trauma, even though it wasn't their official title. This meant they understood the general process and were able to adapt to my specific needs: work at my speed, be empathetic, be present through emotions, and let me have the locus of control.

With Craniosacral Therapy, if the practitioner has gone through advanced classes of training, they will have recieved instructions in working with people dealing with trauma. For one method of training, you can search their experience @ Upledger Institute, then go to 'find a practitioner', then specify 'Craniosacral therapy', then specify your 'zip code', then when the practitioners names are displayed, look for someone who has completed at least level 3, and even better, level 4. Always good to find someone you relax with and like.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

@I am ..... - I wish I could offer advice. I do not have any. I cannot stand body memories and when they get too much for me to handle I have a part that takes over and her methods of ending the body memory are not very healthy. I think someone told me once to try stating the current date out loud to remind yourself that what you're feeling is from the past. That might have been more for flashbacks though. I hope that you find some useful strategies that will help you.

 

[Hope4Now]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Any kind of grounding techniques such as what people have suggested are good. If you aren't in a full mode flashback, talking to your pain in a compassionate way can help (because the pain is the expression of a wounded emotional part). Reassure it that you are safe and calm now, even though it still thinks you are in the past. Ask the parts to look at you now (I know this sounds weird, but I realized recently that some of my parts have no idea that I exist as an adult).

Breathing techniques are good. There's a few that Peter Levine (author about trauma and somatic experience) offers in his book about healing chronic pain. The two that have helped me some are:

1. Find a place in your body that is not in pain and focus on it/explore it/feel it and breathe into and through it. Then go a place in your body that is in pain (maybe don't start with what hurts the most, but one that hurts a little less) and do the same. Go back and forth between the two. Then you can shift to different parts of your body...always taking time with each part and alternating between the two.

2. Imagine your breath coming in through one of your feet, traveling up your leg and into your belly, lingering there for a count of one or two, then traveling back down your other leg and out your other foot as you exhale. It helps me to visualize breathing in and filling up with soft, warm light along with my breath. You can try different ways of doing this...try starting with the other foot for example. Or, the one that works best for me is breathing in through both feet, having the breath come together in my belly, and then letting my exhale wash down through my pelvis and out both my legs.

A third thing that I've found out recently really helps is focusing on relaxing/opening/softening parts of my head and face. I go through each part and ask it to relax (eyebrows/eye sockets, bridge of nose, backs of ears, top of jaw joints, under chin, hard palate at top of mouth, tongue, imagine space between teeth, throat). Though my pain is mostly in my sacral area and legs, doing this relaxes the whole spine (it is from my new Alexander Technique teacher).

I hope one of these helps at least a little. Be kind and gentle with yourself.

 

[Recovery4Me]

:hug:

I'm currently curled up in a ball in bed with heat packs.

Awesome exposure thread, I am!


Really, fetal positioning and warmth is an excellent start. Then expressing it as you have done is significant to undoing of the silent shame game and removes one from the helplessness feelings into that is asking for rescue. Wow, you trusted yourself to believe you can have and are worthy of rescue!


Your body is telling you that it was not imagined; to please love +recognize and heal those violated areas. The first step is to comfort yourself as you did instinctively. There are many paths to choose from for the next steps as you can review by our loving members.


For me the next step after turning on the lights, was to grab an object of faith(comfort) and practice loud roaring, howling or screaming, “No! “ It took me quite a while to be empowered enough to be ferocious enough to become the warrior instead of feeling like the prey.


Anger, was part of my grieving process to show strength and to my body awareness that it would not happen again. My depression faded from my inside and became anger on the outside. I became my avenger. In time, after justified anger was explored, I began the forgiveness cycle in healing. The body memories faded slowly away as the spirit was satisfied for the voice never heard.

Never, never give up!

 

[ButterflyBean]

I know this isn't a technique per se, but if your usual relaxation techniques aren't working right now, this might be a time to contact your therapist if possible. I hope you're able to get some relief soon! Keep talking here; we are here to listen!

 

[I am .....]

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and support. I had an EMDR session today and worked on processing the body memories. Very exhausting couple of days, my body desperately needs a break. Hopefully I'll get a better nights sleep tonight. Although the way my body's feeling right now I think I'm going to be in for a long one.

I agree @GWhizz the body memories are the worst for me also, and I've always had a good tolerance to pain.