Body memories

[Angelwings]

So I have these body memories that are super intense, and today they've been throwing me into flashbacks. I haven't been to the school at all, and my aunt is getting my son from school at 5 so that I can calm down. It's been non-stop all day long. I feel like my body is little again, and that I'm being raped, just the body memories, but it feels real as hell. I have to find a way to stop this from happening. Anyone have any clues? I've tried just hanging out around people so that I don't go into a full flashback, but that's not working either. I've lost time today, my body is so tense, the muscles so tight, that they are starting to hurt from being activated so long. Trying to consciously decide for them to relax is only working for a few seconds at a time and then they snap back to tight. GAH!

 

[Freida]

I'm so sorry -- those are so awful. I get them too - I've had some that lasted two and three days. The only way to make it thru was to keep acknowledging that's what they were -- memories. Telling myself that over and over again....trying to distract myself....try to accept it's just a glitch in my mind and it's not really happening. Basically I just had to ride it out...... Hopefully someone will have better ideas for you -- I just wanted to let you know you're not alone in thes

 

[trying2movefwd]

I have this sometimes.

 

[Angelwings]

I'm so sorry -- those are so awful. I get them too - I've had some that lasted two and three days. The...

Telling myself that it's a memory continuously may work better than what I'm doing right now. Distraction often works, but not today. It's working now, but earlier it was too intense. Getting my mind to calm down when it's in flight or fight mode is next to impossible. I'm assuming that my new therapist will help with that issue.

 

[Freida]

Telling myself that it's a memory continuously

I was stuck in a car for 4 hours with a co-worker coming back from a conference and having a really disturbing one that just would not stop. So I was trying to hide it from her and not lose my crapola the entire way - it was miserable. Everything else had failed..so I just kept repeating inside my head ...."I'm in a blue toyota camry on highway 32 in February 2017 with AP coming home from a conference and this is just a bad memory."... over and over and over. It didn't make it stop but it helped me get some control over it so I didn't flip out on her. That would have been hard to explain!:):)

 

[Rumors]

Those are the times when meditation can help and grounding myself makes a huge difference. I look around the room and focus on what is in my current vision. Also, I count. I add numbers in my head until they become too large to add anymore. It takes focus to add numbers into the millions so it keeps my brain active. Also, I exercise whether is be taking a walk, riding a bike, or really going at it hard. Staying present is imperative to maintaining some calm. Good luck and very sorry you are going through this...

 

[somerandomguy]

I had this with a particular yoga pose. Not very pleasant. I used a bunch of strategies to ground myself, and while I still felt it, it wasn't overwhelming after that - I was able to put the memory into the past where it belongs.

 

[Freida]

Ok - that makes me hopeful! I start next week

 

[Sweetleaf]

I have been having this problem hard today.

EMDR helped it occur less for a couple things, and less intensely. I am about to start EMDR back up and holy f*ck I have so much shit to work on :( :( :(

The first of which is regaining some sense of stability and at least SOME level of safety because right now I can barely even sleep. Like I wanted to sleep 2 hrs ago or so but I can't :( I think I might be up all day

I try hard to distract myself from body memories. It can be hard, but I have to second just trying to remind yourself that it's not real, it's not happening, you're safe, you're here, you're now, you're not then and there, and that stuff isn't happening. Your body is just trying, in it's own way, to protect you, I suppose you could look at it like that. It's just trying way too hard lol. It doesn't know any better. Oh well.

 

[Angelwings]

I'm so sorry -- those are so awful. I get them too - I've had some that lasted two and three days. The...

My therapist was telling me the other day, to remember that it's not happening now. For some reason, this grounding statement makes me feel invalidated, like she doesn't understand how much these body memories are disturbing to me. It's like I'm not having these horrid experiences because it isn't "happening now".

 

[Freida]

to remember that it's not happening now

It's a grounding technique that I don't think she is explaining well. It's not meant to invalidate what you are feeling. It's to help you see the difference between past and present tense. She isn't saying you are not feeling the sensations -- she is reminding you that the actual abuse is not happening right now. My T tells me that all the time because I can jump from body sensation (feeling hands on my wrist while I know I'm sitting in her office) to full on flash back (I am back in the dorm room fighting for my life) without warning. If she keeps reminding me where I am and that it isn't really happening I can use that to stay present