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Both me and boyfriend have ptsd. he just left me.

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by SuzetteLove, Sep 12, 2017.

  1. shimmerz

    shimmerz My silence spoke a thousand words you never heard Premium Member

    I get it. Completely get it. And it sounds like you have set yourself up with a great place! But I get the scared of being alone thing. It is ten years later for me and those freaking stalker dudes are still renting space in my head. Slowly I am trying to redo my internal landscape. I am learning to give myself a break, realize that I have been through way more than the average person could even nightmare about, let alone live through.

    You've got this.

    Oh, and have you, by any chance, a therapist to work with? I can't recall if you wrote that or not. Support was a really important thing to me when I was able to leave. Isolation (which I leaned towards in those days) was not my friend, although it felt like it many times.
    SuzetteLove likes this.
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  3. EveHarrington

    EveHarrington _______ in progress. Premium Member

    I'm worried that your social skills are a bit skewed if you feel the need to talk about upsetting trauma topics in a public/work setting.....as you've done this repeatedly at a number of different jobs, yet can't comprehend why this would upset other people or make for an uncomfortable work environment.

    Nobody is trying to silence you. It's all about learning when it's ok to talk about certain subjects.
  4. SuzetteLove

    SuzetteLove New Member

    @shimmerz Thank you again for seeming to be one of the only people I have ever really communicated with who may have been to hell and back with other human beings as often as I have. It gets really old having to spell things out for people. I have had therapists really botch it too. I am setting my self up to get regular Massage Therapy which is good for me to get regular touch, cause talking to people just ends up generally pi***ng me off.
    My great plan is not actually that great. There are a lot of risks. The land in California Valley is an hour for anyone to arrive if you call 911 and is completely barren- no water, no electricity and 8 hours from my family. And then living out of a horse trailer pushes the edges of my dignity. I am starting to feel angry that my BF (ex at this point really) who wants to be "selfish for as long as I can" is putting me into this super precarious situation because he wants to do extensive drinking and be a crap human. I am working at just going day by day and not get too caught up with my plan until I know what the situation actually is. I have really creatively come up with a solution with very little resources, but I really like having a home with running water and a stove and a fridge.
    I am questioning the wisdom of putting my story here. I appreciate the validation about how wrong his actions are, but I do not appreciate the lack of understanding, and who could really understand unless they have walked in my shoes.
  5. She Cat

    She Cat Policy Enforcement Banned Premium Member Sponsor $100+

    No one is putting you into this "precarious situation" with no water, no electricity. It's a choice that you have made. It's all about priorities. You could go to a shelter. You could call your family and ask for help. Yes, you have animals, again it's a choice, you living in a horse trailor and having pets, or asking for help.

    Priorities and choices!!!!
    EveHarrington likes this.
  6. Sideways

    Sideways I'm a VIP Premium Member

    Sometimes when we're in a complicated situation, our body steps in for us and tells us, "No, actually I'm terrified of this guy". Listen to what your body is telling you.

    You've been empathetic to his situation, but if your body is telling you that you're genuinely afraid of him, it's time to leave. Even though he has ptsd, it's still okay to put your needs, your happiness, and your safety first.

    I'm not local, so can't offer much as far as practical advice goes, but womens shelters often have a lot of helpful resources to make leaving safe, and to help you make it happen in practical terms. In terms of where you go? All I can say is that even though isolation feels safer right now, it may not feel safer for very long, and isolation can very quickly make recovery that much harder. People can be hard to deal with, but life is so often that much easier when we have some kind of access to support networks.
    SuzetteLove likes this.
  7. SuzetteLove

    SuzetteLove New Member

    I am not even going to read this, just seeing a few phrases. I question your integrity for posting at all. This isn't support, this is judgement. You just do not know the situation here with housing and how hard I have worked to get this far. It does not help to wake up to this kind of thing with multiple exclamation marks. Absolutely ending my time on this sight. Rude.

    Oftentimes people with PTSD have suicidal thoughts and tendencies. Do a little exercise before you post here. Imagine your words are going out to someone who just called a suicide hotline. When you do all caps you are screaming at them. Are you really going to quote their words back to them and say you could do this or you could do that- ? No. You would not have that job. Check yourself.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 14, 2017
  8. She Cat

    She Cat Policy Enforcement Banned Premium Member Sponsor $100+

    One thing that you will learn if you stay on this site. ....... We give support when needed or warranted and we also give a swift kick in the ass when needed. Personally I think that you are making rash desicions based on emotions rather than THINKING things out logically. When I type in caps, I'm stressing a point, I'm not yelling at you. If I was, you'd know it!!!!!!!!!

    You are still emotionally connected to your boyfriend and I get that. But, he's out of the picture and I hope for good because it's an abusive relationship, so you need to start making decisions that are healthy and not rash. Living in a horse trailer isn't a healthy decision, IMO, it's putting you in jeopardy and will ultimately stress your already fragile state.

    Take some time and figure things out, that will HELP you and not HURT you!!!!!

    OH! And I have PTSD and I KNOW the ins and out of suicide, and everything else that PTSD gives. It's the gift that keeps on giving and it's been giving me its gifts for 50+ yrs.......
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