Boundaries

[Kopykat]

@SheilaKathy i do have my therapist’s email. I do email her sometimes a lot, sometimes not. I know she doesn’t always have time to respond, a lot of it is me trying to process things or be more open. It’s been 5 years and I still have a lot of trust issues, not bc of the therapist, just bc of well life. So I’m trying to be better about talking about difficult things in person, which is...extremely difficult!

We have been talking a lot about a “window of tolerance” (a term I cringe and roll my eyes at), I said I have a “wall of intolerance” regarding difficult subjects...specifically trauma and abandonment. Trauma is so vague though. The word alone just makes me tense up.

I’ve never worked this hard at maintaining a relationship before. Usually they just blow up in my face or I just am alone and deal w things alone. So being tolerant of letting someone in and seeing how this is supposed to work has been tough. I vent on here when I need a “keeping it real” moment from others bc I really don’t think anyone else understands.

 

[Changing4Best]

I think we understand in part at least. I do know and have experienced how hard it is to "talk" about things with my T. Especially the trauma, it is true. I get around that by doing paintings, just little things, not meant to be shown in a gallery or anything, just an expression of my emotions and about things that happened long ago. One can even use blobs of color and stick figures and get the benefits that I am getting, because sometimes that it all I do and I am feeling relief! Then I show them to my T and they communicate those 1000 words I cannot seem to get out.