Boundaries

[PamelaS]

Appreciate support and any advice/experience that might help me in tightening my boundaries with someone who doesn’t recognize boundaries. I need to protect myself from the triggers that this person causes. Unfortunately, at this time I am sharing a property with my abuser because of my financial situation. Can’t wait to some day break free. Thanks.

 

[deno]

Try to create a space that feels like yours, even if it’s just a small area where you feel in control. If direct interactions are unavoidable, stating your limits clearly and refusing to engage beyond that can reinforce your boundaries. You don’t have to explain or defend your boundaries to someone who doesn’t respect them—sometimes just repeating them and stepping away is the best approach.

 

[Sweetpea76]

Hello @PamelaS. I moved your post from the supporter topic so you are more likely to find helpful advice. Welcome to the forum!

 

[Movingforward10]

When someone doesn't recognise your boundaries, removing yourself or changing the conversation/physical location can help.
I know you can't move out, but can you close a door/block sound out etc?
Does changing the conversation help? Like just ignoring what they say and turning the conversation to something else they enjoy speaking about , diverting their attention to that safer topic?
Moving out the way or sitting somewhere else?

 

[PamelaS]

Hello @PamelaS. I moved your post from the supporter topic so you are more likely to find helpful advice. Welcome to the forum!

Thank you very much for doing that. I haven’t figured this out yet. I appreciate you taking good care of me. Thank you very much and you have a very good day moving forward in your journey.

 

[arfie]

when i was in such a position, i channeled all that angst and frustration into fulfilling my wish to be free. i worked ALLOT. when i wasn't working, i was working the therapy rounds. it paid off. an abuser can't goad me if i am not there. achieving that freedom was divine.

but that is me and every case is unique.

steadying support while you achieve your own freedom.

 

[PamelaS]

Thank you! I wish you continued healing from all that you have been through and I appreciate you sharing. Thanks.

 

[PamelaS]

Try to create a space that feels like yours, even if it’s just a small area where you feel in control. If direct interactions are unavoidable, stating your limits clearly and refusing to engage beyond that can reinforce your boundaries. You don’t have to explain or defend your boundaries to someone who doesn’t respect them—sometimes just repeating them and stepping away is the best approach.

Thank you very much!

When someone doesn't recognise your boundaries, removing yourself or changing the conversation/physical location can help.
I know you can't move out, but can you close a door/block sound out etc?
Does changing the conversation help? Like just ignoring what they say and turning the conversation to something else they enjoy speaking about , diverting their attention to that safer topic?
Moving out the way or sitting somewhere else?

Thank you for your suggestions. I am actually physically safe because I have changed the locks in a separate part of the house where I live. However, this person and his behavior triggers the trauma he created and I must limit contact with him in every way possible in order to not live in a constant state of being triggered. Hearing all of this feedback is helping me tremendously. Moving forward with hope of a better future.

when i was in such a position, i channeled all that angst and frustration into fulfilling my wish to be free. i worked ALLOT. when i wasn't working, i was working the therapy rounds. it paid off. an abuser can't goad me if i am not there. achieving that freedom was divine.

but that is me and every case is unique.

steadying support while you achieve your own freedom.

As a matter of fact, just yesterday, I came to the realization that since I can’t do anything about the situation, I will bury myself in all of the resources that I have in order to move forward in my healing journey of the PTSD. Thank you for reinforcing that idea. Wishing you progress in your healing journey.