I'm new to this forum and while I do not personally suffer from PTSD, my boyfriend of now 5 months does and I am finding it difficult to cope with it all.
A little background about us. We meet on an online dating website about 5 1/2 months ago. We were both done with the whole online dating games that so many like to play and were serious about finding the special one. Fast forward about 3 weeks later and we were official. My boyfriend was pretty forthcoming about his PTSD from the beginning. He served as a corpsman in the Navy for about 8 years and was deployed to Iraq/Afghanistan on a couple of occasions. While he does speak about the events on occasion, I believe the majority of his trauma revolves around losing/not being able to save some of his people. I have done some research on PTSD, but still feel at a loss sometimes when I try to comfort/help him.
Our relationship was really good. A couple of months in we were telling each other "I love you" and planning our future. We even talked about marriage and he meet my parents and I went a couple states away to meet his parents. While we lived about an hour apart we would see each other every weekend and even some days throughout the week. I was so in love and thought that this was it.
Two weeks ago I did something that I wholeheartedly regret. I have a pretty stressful job and will drink to lessen the stress. On that evening I had a particular hard day and drank more then I should have. We ended up getting into an argument (about I dont know) and in retaliation I made a online dating profile that night. Well he found out about it in the morning. I immediately regretted what I had done and knew instantly how much I had hurt him. There is no excuse for it...I immediately asked for his forgiveness, apologized, wrote letters about how sorry I was. While we are still together...things have definitely changed. He has pulled away from me, barely touches me, won't be the first to initiate a "I love you" and overall I feel like I have lost my best friend. At this point I am utterly heartbroken and do not know what to do. I know I messed up...I have confessed such to my closet friends, my family and most of all him. I want to be together and this whole experience has definitely been an eye opener. I don't drink any more and instead release stress at the gym. I have my faith, my family and my friends, but I feel that I lost my heart and don't know what to do. I'm not sure if I'm looking more for advice or just a listening ear to vent. Any advice or help would be so appreciated at this time. I just feel so lost...
A little background about us. We meet on an online dating website about 5 1/2 months ago. We were both done with the whole online dating games that so many like to play and were serious about finding the special one. Fast forward about 3 weeks later and we were official. My boyfriend was pretty forthcoming about his PTSD from the beginning. He served as a corpsman in the Navy for about 8 years and was deployed to Iraq/Afghanistan on a couple of occasions. While he does speak about the events on occasion, I believe the majority of his trauma revolves around losing/not being able to save some of his people. I have done some research on PTSD, but still feel at a loss sometimes when I try to comfort/help him.
Our relationship was really good. A couple of months in we were telling each other "I love you" and planning our future. We even talked about marriage and he meet my parents and I went a couple states away to meet his parents. While we lived about an hour apart we would see each other every weekend and even some days throughout the week. I was so in love and thought that this was it.
Two weeks ago I did something that I wholeheartedly regret. I have a pretty stressful job and will drink to lessen the stress. On that evening I had a particular hard day and drank more then I should have. We ended up getting into an argument (about I dont know) and in retaliation I made a online dating profile that night. Well he found out about it in the morning. I immediately regretted what I had done and knew instantly how much I had hurt him. There is no excuse for it...I immediately asked for his forgiveness, apologized, wrote letters about how sorry I was. While we are still together...things have definitely changed. He has pulled away from me, barely touches me, won't be the first to initiate a "I love you" and overall I feel like I have lost my best friend. At this point I am utterly heartbroken and do not know what to do. I know I messed up...I have confessed such to my closet friends, my family and most of all him. I want to be together and this whole experience has definitely been an eye opener. I don't drink any more and instead release stress at the gym. I have my faith, my family and my friends, but I feel that I lost my heart and don't know what to do. I'm not sure if I'm looking more for advice or just a listening ear to vent. Any advice or help would be so appreciated at this time. I just feel so lost...
